Day 8

I'm currently at work finishing up W-2's and made one more run to Staples because I forgot to order the envelopes that adorn them.
If it's one thing I get stalked during the end of January, it's for W-2's.  I can't blame folks that are looking for a refund they've worked hard for.

Bill went to the hospital bright and early this morning.  Arriving when Kris was in a more perky mode.
He also sent me a text last night pretty late that said he "just woke up and was feeling really good, and thanks for walking through this with me mom, I love you"-
I was kind of shocked because when I left last night I felt at ease.  However with as many meds as he's on, and the shitty feeling inside, and outside he's dealing with, I can only imagine the illusions he's feeling when dealing with others.  Mom.  Girlfriend.  Sister.  Friends. Social media. Nurses.  Doctors.  Assistants.
Even a nutritionist came by today giving us vouchers for the Bistro.  And the cafeteria.  He's elated, and wondering why....
Imagine how his poor little head is swashing through this storm. 
The last few days are filled with severe itching, and diarrhea.  Both are cause for concern if his counts don't start to move and climb up by next week.  There's something called Engraftment.  This is when the stems get into the body, move to where they "think" they should go, but haven't quite moved to the major spot. The bone marrow.  When the doctors arrived today, with Bill present they mentioned casually about the amount of output yesterday, and they'd start to be concerned by next week.  Kris felt they were "hiding" something.  Bill said, it felt hopeful.
I had the same vibe yesterday.  Remember when we got on that roller coaster, and we strapped in, but we really didn't want to ride that ride.  But we had to?

That kind of day.

I had sent all of my mama goodies....telling Bill where to put what.  How to wipe the door knobs just in case.  Where the wipies go making it extra easy for him. 


Kris then said for me not to come because Jen was coming early today.  You know my heart and body wants to be there with him.  He's also sad looking at himself in the mirror.  More tears today after I sent a picture that Bill sent to me.

They made him get on a therapy bike today.  Although the picture made him so sad, I wonder if someday we can look back on all of this as one big mountain that HE climbed.  By himself, WITH the help of us. All of us.  

I felt like a jerk for sending the picture.  As they say in the land of parenting.  Especially in a crisis.  We never know what the exact recipe calls for.  We just react with what we think is best.  I initially thought he'd like to see himself up and out of the bed for once. 


Shitfest......

I keep reminding him that HE WILL PULL THROUGH THIS!  

I left a message for my back up doc today, with hopes he'll call me this evening, or stop by to see Kris.  It's always reassuring to see that someone else is peeking in on him.  Especially the best of the best.
I'm praying that by the weekend, or early next week his counts will start to climb.  That each day will be better day.

My engine light came on this morning. 

And guess what?

There is NOTHING IN THIS WORLD THAT WILL MAKE ME BETTER THAN TO JUST SEE MY BOY BETTER....

Engine light. come on v-dub.  Come on.


Counts-
WBC- 0.1- (we need prayers for this to climb by next week)
Hgb    9.8
Platelets 23
Cr. .42

Best Friend stops by to give LOVE ----

Peace and Love,

This Warrior Mama Lisa