I wish you all a peaceful, and soulful holiday season. Can you believe we've reached the end of the year? Things will look and feel different this year, as our seasons have changed. Kids are grown. The hustle of running to and from for our little's has come to a halt. We'll find our own new way. They'll come and go, and we'll devour the moments we can. Always grateful my son is alive. Grateful for an amazing daughter whom navigates through life like a champ. Her willingness and tenacity always top notch.
We'll let the tide push us where we need to be. The season in fact has harvested some interesting feelings for us all. Looking back through pictures as I always tend to do is a firm reminder of how delicate and really neat life is, even when at times we are walking through fog.
The days of watching the little birdies gather around a Christmas tree we labored to make pretty. Or the tradition of mama's biscuits and gravy Christmas morning. I can remember many Christmas mornings cleaning things up holding resentment for all a mother goes through to make the magic happen. To watch it wither down to paper torn, and tossed into a trash bag. Answering to Bill as to "what's wrong" and I had no answers, just shoulders shrugged. When deep inside I was a bit sad at how it all unfolded. Quick and Commercialized.
Changes.
Seasons.
The exhale and euphoria we all feel while collapsing on the couch after a good meal that night. For me, it was a "whew, made it through another holiday". My often sulky role I grew into.
My wish, as it is every year, is that I will eventually grow out of my lack of lust for this season.
I want to look back someday and drink in what I preach. I want to be prepared enough. And when I say be prepared, it's not bearing gifts. In fact, the complete opposite. I'd love to share moments, and food over gifts. It's to be prepared to offer love to those without anyone. I want to enjoy music or good food with friends that experience the same "fog" I experience during these months.
I write my parents a letter each year. In that letter it always covers my gratitude for what they did provide and how magical (again, not gift bearing)- But with traditions I will forever keep tucked into my soul. The drives to look at Christmas lights. The wrapping paper that changed...because.."Santa" came to visit. The Mickey Mouse watch I opened on Christmas Eve, listening to it tick-tock all night long, with hopes to hear Santa land on our house.
Gratitude. Parenting. Motherhood.
It's all so temporary. Nothing lasts forever.
Maybe a gentle reminder to me, that nothing is permanent in this life.
Emotions.
Foggy holiday seasons.
Life.
And the willingness to participate.
Sometimes it's creating a new holiday season fit for you.
Sometimes it's stepping away from the platform we all thought was forever.
Step back. Take a look. Keep it simple.
And just love.
So if what feels permanent today and never-ending, know there is an end that a change will come. Our troubles today will be traded for different troubles tomorrow. Same with our joys. And so find some sort of peace in knowing that none of it... not the good or the bad - will last forever.
As my cousin Mindi expressed on her Christmas cards. "The days are long, but the years are short."
Merry Christmas to you.
Love on those that mean the most.
And keep makin' biscuits and gravy!
Mama Lisa
