What They've Served.

More and more when I look at pictures taken of me I can see the years that have accumulated.  Accumulated into wrinkles around my lips.  Wrinkles around my eyes from squinting.  A line between my brow line from most likely frowning, or my RBF (restingbitchface)- Or the lines on the cheeks from the years of smiling. 

Kali made a comment to me the other day about my wide beautiful smile.  The positive effect it left in me will resonate, most likely, forever. 

I don't feel like I smile like I used to. I feel like I've been stained.

Stained by heartbreak.

Stained by fear. 

And stained by knowledge. 

Maybe the younger years are the years of being naive. 

Not being in tune of all the "what if's"that can  happen. 

That one phone call..

That one letter...

That one exit...

That one change in the chapters...

My smile isn't so wide these days...

Kali, thank you for saying this to mama- (she actually just referred to a girl she interviewed, for a position at NBC as an Account Exec-arrived at her office reminding her of her mom. She said, "she had like your hair, and tan body and like, your big pretty smile".... And it made me warm inside. 

If there's one thing you want to leave for your birds, wouldn't it be a beautiful memory of what you supplied them.  Not monetary.  But YOU.  What we leave in them.  I know my kids know how much I love them. How I parent them way differently than I was parented.  And no fault to anyone, just different times, and different humans, and different goals.  

So it's my smile maybe.  Maybe it's the food I cook.  The way Kali likes to watch me chop vegetables and prepare a meal.  It's a favorite trait of hers. 

Maybe it's the way I serve my family on little trays with all the extra's.  

My hands-

Lately I stare at my hands in awe. 

What they've done for me.

For us.

For my family.

Building my nest.

The hands that held my world together for a family who fought to keep things together -

The hands that learned many things as a tomboy because I wanted to know. 

I still can be a tomboy, but just don't ask me to put air in any tire.

Run, Forest RUN....Scary shiz right there....

Never a TV fan, but an outdoor, ride my bike and just go, girl.  

My hands-

The hands that pulled my babies out and up on to me, with a euphoria like no other. 

The hands that bathed them, changed them, wiped their tears.  

My hands-

The hands that made ribbons for every single girl on each team in the younger years as I sat at practice with a tired body from work, but my hands to work...The Hands that cut up apples and oranges for sports, carried banners across a field next to a jittery daughter, or a son who could care less about the sport and just wanted to catch butterflies and dandelions. 

A son that could care less that I made the banner or had the helium helpful hand.  lol

My hands-

The hands that hugged the human I will love for the rest of my days on this Earth.

The hands that rubbed my sons back as he puked into bucket after bucket relieving what his body didn't want after such intense doses of poison to kill a horrible disease.

The hands that wiped my own tears as I drove like an asshole down the freeway.  Many times, looking back, not sure how I navigated working and helping to save my son.  I still don't know how I did this.  #mamasuperpowers..#iwasnumb

The hands that have definitely sipped more martini's on a given night that would make myself fill with shame at 3:00am.  And it hasn't just been a couple of times.  I know, shoot me.
Just don't be a hypocrite. haha

My hands-

The hands that serve employees, customers, stray cats, and newborn abandoned kittens. The bottles I've shoved into those kittens tiny mouths to watch their ears flutter.

The hands that have clinked glasses with my best friends, to walk away with hugs we all know are filled with good times had, and good times to come. 

#drunk

The hands that have made plenty of mistakes.  Hurting someone by text.  Typing something rude at the moment because I was pissed to later want to erase what was spoken of. 

The hands that prepare things in front of me for beauty.  Whether that be flowers, planters, a clean dock, or a washed down patio (hey Shelley-lol!)

These hands.

Forty Nine.

Take a long look at your hands.  Don't look at the wrinkles, or wonky knuckles-

Embrace the beauty in their servant deeds.  

Those are years and years of giving.  LOVE. Food. High Fives (just not Kali), They've held your drinks.  They've held your little birdies cheeks while they wail in tears if hurt. 

Your hands.

Cherish them.

Sure we can try and pretty them up with nails, or rings.  

But in the end......

They've served you well.  

And those loyal beauties will serve you for the rest of your days. 

I hope you admire what your hands have given you.  The talents, the love, and most of all the serving to those you love.

Have a great weekend, and cherish each moment with those you love.

One phone call can change it all.

This Mama Lisa

This Mama is happy her birdie is out fishin!  He's had a rough patch with sun, its damage, and the oh' so fun part of his belly aches-  BUT that dude just KEEPS ON KEEPIN ON!  Go get some Tuna today Kris!

I love you!

Seasons For Us.

For as long as I can remember, I view the season of Fall as the season of good hair. LOL

Hair that behaves. 

The ladies in my family can confirm our love for dry air, (less frizz) and hair that stays styled after we've blow dried the shit out of it.  If you can see Bill do his impersonation of me blow drying my hair you'd laugh as hard as I do.  As for him and his handsome self, he prefers my hair curly.  And for me and my soul, I love it straight. The pattern all too familiar these days...with alot of humans. We want what we don't have, and vice versa. 

Fall. 

I can see the season of change in the night time sunset.  The way it always glistens differently come October. There's a shine in the late afternoon that is just amazing. 

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE summer. I love to sit with all of our friends across a patio table carrying on about life.  Some of my best summer moments are those sitting around our little plastic patio table with all the chairs we have filled with the friends we love. 

This summer was no different. And for that I am forever grateful.

Sure there are bumps in the road with changes in our book.  Many new pages in this chapter that will give lots of what-the-fuck-was-that-about.  But what is meant to be, is/was meant to be.  Firm believer in Karma.  Even though God has my back, he also doesn't like ugly.  So.....onward, and upward from here.

Fall.

Leaves are changing. Cooler nights. Mosquito's are hopefully planning their departure for a while.

Mums, and the changes of flowers at the nursery a sure sign that before we know it, Poinsettia's will join the crowd.

Fall.

My parents yard....

I see pictures of Autumn back east, or even on my parents property and I think...wow, stunning.

And yet for us, we thrive on the tilt of the sunset.  The glistening of the different sunshine that comes through our windows. 

Fall.

For me, it's putting a blanket down on my seat because when I wear shorts, the seat is a little cool in the mornings while leaving for work. 

Seasons.

A new season of change.  A new set of goals.  A new set of dreams.

Adventure with my best friend and lover.   The guy that has stared at me deep into my eyes that have been so filled with tears that we just don't talk because remember....I ugly cry.  I have the most distorted face in all the land.

He on the other end, stares intently. Deeply. With meaning. 

Strongest man I know. 

I hope you all take in this change of season with a full heart.  I hope you have family surrounding you that genuinely love you.  Friends make up the most of these pages for me. For us.

Don't stop believing in what your heart has always told you.

Be kind.  

  Embrace the changes, and enjoy what YOU'VE worked so hard for. 

This is IT kids, we've got one shot, so let's make the most of it!

XO

Love,

Layyysaaa

And That Concludes.

Another L.O.N.G. week filled with work, decisions, juggling, laughter, tears, hugs--- LONG hugs, dinners alongside my tribe, phone calls with my birds, kisses from pups, advice to employees, advice from employees, kitten rescue  (hello Manya best rescuer of all the land), and lots of love. 

*it's not even kitten season-ugh!

May you all stay safe, healthy and able this weekend- Do what makes you feel good inside.  Wanna hide from the world?  Do it.  Wanna sit in a dive bar and drink away your sorrows? Do it. justkidding, don't do that. Welllll, maybe like half of one day.  justkiddingagain...

Do give love. 

And take it where you can....

Somewhere. Anywhere. Just not the dive bar----or wait...ya, no don't. 

BE GOOD.  

Be YOU.  

Most of all, love your tribe. 

XO

You guys....look at Buckie

This Mama Lisa

But YOU Can.

I talk with Kali a few nights a week on her drive home from work.  That treacherous 405, to PCH long stretch of cars moving at a snails pace. 

Moms-  The one to listen to her frustrations at work. Her goals not quite met. The good we had last week to fall on her face this week.

The text she'll send when a client falls through, or worse, ghosts her- 

In typical mom fashion, I offer the words of praise and encouragement- 

Afterall, the soon to be 50 chapters I've lived to see...I know that stressing over the petty, is more hurtful of ones soul than the actual career itself.  I praise, but I remind..."let that shiz go Kali"-

What doesn't kill you today will in fact, notch you up higher later.

So I decided to "save" her best text messages of success.  I deleted the defeat, and saved the successes.

A reminder that even with one step back at the beginning of the week, will most likely offer a success sooner or later. 

And just like that, she nailed two big goals today!

Because she can. 

And she will.

Over and over again.

Reminding myself along the way.....

Ya gotta keep on rollin'.....even when the bumps in the road are some times closer, and some times higher, you gotta keep on going. 

Tenacity is worth it.

Never take NO for an answer if your heart is looking for a YES. 

Just keep on going.

 I have the successful text messages saved for the cloudy days that will inevitably come.

Reminders.

Love. 

Motherhood.

Experience.

Life. 

She's gonna kill me....exit stageleftlisarightnow....LOL!  Just tryin' to show the trophy Kali!

The days of multiple casts, and little buns in her hair....

Go get em Kali! 

High Five?! HAHAHAH 

She won't high five me if her life depended on it-

This Mama Lisa

Lisa's Advice For The Week.

Within the last couple of weeks I've taken more calls than ever about bedcovers that have been broken into. If not broken into, then jimmy'd and bent up pretty bad.  

My bestie was in Scottsdale last weekend for a sales call and had her rental car broken into.  Samples for collegiate sales was the belongings they stole. 

Our neighbor has video footage of a guy walking car to car with his black hoodie up, trying to get inside of the cars out front. 

The app Next Door has numerous messages and reminders for us folks to be on alert. 

Here's the thing.... Don't LEAVE ANYTHING IN YOUR CAR WITH VALUE!

My sweet sugar baby birdie had left her sunglasses in her car at the beginning of springtime. Parked at Don the Beachcomber- A nagging mom reminding her that this type of thing allows for broken windows and pried open doors. 

Anyway.....listen up kids...!  Be alert!  Don't leave valuables in your car!  

From documents, sunglasses, camera's....

Drug addicts and those creeps that lurk the streets at night have no other means to obtain valuables.

They wake up when we are sound asleep.  Each night, each car, each home....is their income. A quick drug fix. 

Who knows what this reminder could do for you.  But if it helps one friend, human or family member think twice tonight about crime, and be a little more conscious, well, good!

You're welcome!

And if you've been violated recently...I'm sorry-  Those shenanigans will always be there...it's how we try to prevent it. 

This Mama Lisa

My Everything.

I love you. 

I love you, I love you, I love you.

Hugs to the hardest working, most dedicated human I know.

I will always stand behind you.

Next to you.

Or right in front to protect you.


XO

Mama

Did We.

Did we love enough.

Did we show enough. 

Did we fail enough. 

Did we fall enough.

Did we get back up enough.

Did we provide enough.

Did we work hard enough.

Did we prove enough.

Did we hug more than enough.

Did we express enough.

Did we prove our love enough.
Did we. Did we. Did we.

Did we help enough. 

Did we.

Did we.

Did we.

Grief is an asshole. 

The outsider looking in.

The outsider looking back.

Analyzing what should of been.  What could have been.

The clouds that are passing. 

The fog-

The closing of chapters. 

Was it all enough.

Will it ever be enough.

The pain is there.  There is nothing I can do to help.

So you stand back.

Hold on tight to who you need to.

Who needs you.

You are enough.

Even when you question it over and over again.

You are.

We can still choose happy even when the story didn't end the way everyone wants.

No one can be in charge of your happiness, but you.

And the only thing endless in this world, is the ocean and the sky.

And love. If you let it.

Love,

Lisa 

And you were. Enough. More than. Enough. 

These are my words.  As a long time outsider looking in.

Peace be with you.


Have a peaceful weekend....


Get some rest, as they all say-

Fly Away Sweet Birdie....

May 30, 1927 - September 7, 2019

Gaylord, you will be missed.  

Truth.

So, SO much sadness around us. So much evil. 

The one thing we can do, is practice the task of good deeds.

Spread kindness like it's glitter.  

I read a quote that said something along the lines "kindness is like glitter it spreads so easily and sticks to whatever it lands on"  (for the record, I CAN'T STAND GLITTER) but I like the analogy of spreading kindness.

KINDNESS.

It starts with us.

-------------------------------------------------

Last weekend we had a Facetime Appointment with our Transplant Doc.  (Dr. Sahebi)- A Friday appt. at 3:00pm, while away for the holiday weekend-  No problem!
One bird was bummed we couldn't go boating, then quickly put herself back in check as our reality is a new chapter. 

I'm forever amazed with technology.  The caring vibe of his doctor.  The mom that gets to add her two cents, while sipping a margarita.  Standing next to my boy we all fought so hard to keep alive. 

Shout out to Kaiser.bomb.com for allowing this feature.

Life.

Love.

Motherhood.

Good news -- we are eliminating his last Tacrolimus (immune-suppressor)  He still swallows 20 others a day, but we're headed in the right direction.  

Have a great weekend...do yourself a favor, and just be kind.  

Smile at a stranger. 

Hold a door open. 

Help the elderly. 

Send silly text messages to those who get YOU.

And just love.

What's left of this world....

Trust me, one minute life is all flowers and pig-tails, and the next can be a complete nightmare.

Enjoy the most beautiful day of the week...

FRIDAY!

This Mama Lisa

PS- Don't get me wrong, I can go from kindness-glitter-spreader to ghetto-rip-your-throat-out in two seconds flat if you tailgate me or hurt my family---

Once Upon A Time.

There lived a CHAMPION.

And a warrior mom.

And they lived happily ever after.

And she still worried alot.

But she took each day, and titled it GRATEFUL for another.

Hope your week has been smooth--

Who else has an empty fridge, raise yo hand!

Who else can't wait for the weekend....RAISE YO HAND!

Almost there kids, almost.....there!

Today is my work anniversary- 24 years---

This Mama Lisa

Word.

This made me laugh harder than it should.

And if you're anything like this freak-of-a-friend, you have your favorite chonies that do indeed make your world go round' --  So there's that.  Good gawd do I have a fond love for comfy undies.  Is that an age thing?  Give me comfort, give me life.  LOLZZZZ!!!!

Laundry. You beast.  

Hope you all had a fantastic weekend with those you love.

We sure did.

Much needed time with our birdies in the nest-

This Mama Lisa