Friday, June 22, 2018

The Friday Light

Another long week coming to a close. 

And just like all of you, we forge through the things that help us survive.  We mesh things together to make a living.  We tolerate things and the moments we must pass through to pay bills.  Also to teach. 

Learn.

And heal.

So the weekend is here for those moments to reset. 

To step back for a moment.

OR....to step forward, and hang with those we love.  

For me, I make the time to cook quietly alone. 

Pondering all the things that make my future worthwhile.

I pray for our daughter whom is navigating changes in her heart. Working. Commuting. Co-living with roommates. Missing her boyfriend during the week, and dreaming back to the college days of "Taco Tuesday", and fun nights together with friends until the wee hours.
Not realizing that college comes to a close and adulting smacks ya quickly and abruptly on the cheeks.
She's always figured things out the right way.  Only now mama is standing back with sweet praise, and lots of "you can do this" vibes.  At times I know she feels lost. And frustrated.

Don't we all. 

I pray for my son and his health. I pray for his well-being and the life he deserves.  

I pray for my best friend and lover Bill to feel good, and pain free in his body and spirit. 

I laugh when I gather with friends whom join me on our dock and laugh until we can't laugh anymore...or we SOMEHOW end up in Mother's Tavern for "just one" which turns into more dancing and music.


We toss peanuts on the floor while forgetting the many little shadows of stress. 

Friday.

The weekend.

I hope it's good to you.


Just be kind.

"You can't pour from an empty cup, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST"

(As Shelley is nodding her head yes to me)


This Mama Lisa


ps.  Speaking of Shelley, look up the song Shelley "One Headlight" by The Wallflowers.
You're welcome.
And I love u. 
xo

Thursday, June 21, 2018

Pondering With Age

I follow an account on Instagram called "CHEAPOLDHOUSES"-


You'll find a 2 story, 5 bedroom, Craftsman Style, wood floor, old Victorian vibe home in like NC for $85K.  

Some marked down to $65K.  Most nestled in strange places I've never heard of before, and yet the home, the yard, the surrounding visuals, captivate me.  They most always need lots and lots of work. So much work that the average person like myself, simply dream, stare, and move on. 

I read an article this morning about a guy whom purchased something similar to this.  


After scrolling through his pictures there are parts of me that can handle living with a soiled staircase, but then another part of me would want some paint on the walls and maybe some cleaned up wood floors. 

My only fear.....


Ghosts.


I am a believer of spirits.  I believe spirits linger. 

And so those fears would most likely inhibit a purchase like this....for me....

But.... 

A dreamer can dream.....

A dreamer should dream....

If only we were brave enough to do something like this. 

What's your thoughts on this?

Happy house hunting on that Instagram account...You're welcome!

Happy Summer Solstice!





This Mama Lisa



Bring it on Summatime!


Wednesday, June 20, 2018

Nose To The Ground


Often times Bill and I will sit together and reminisce about the moments that literally take all the hard moments away, and put perspective of just how good this life can be.  Sitting on this dock on Parker (Foxes) 4 years ago.  Together. 
The wind.
The sun.
The cool water passing by.

Away.

We can't get away as much as we would like.

Of course we can, but then we have the effect of picking up the pieces when we return.

And so we just keep workin.

Hard. 

And when I say hard, I mean every single waking hour. 

I was scrolling through pictures this morning in search of one for a customer. Of Kris' first car.

And these river pictures came up.

I can just smell the river. If  I close my eyes, I can imagine sitting there next to him eating super salty popcorn, a good stiff drink, and the sound of boats passing.

I can imagine our laughter while we just toss all the worries up into the air....

I always look back on dated pictures and think...oh my god, to think I didn't  know what the fuck was gonna hit us.  

This week has been weird.  

Hard. 

Busy. 

Weird. 

I didn't cook our meals last weekend, (such a sweet Father's Day we had with the kids though).  So we've been eating lunch by the shop (I hate Subway-ew-I hate fast food)  I packed Hummus today, 3 Cutie little tangerine things, some peanuts, and just lame things to get through. 
(my sweet dude brought me a Subway sandwich that had "I think" chicken that looked rubbery-sorry honey, I love you, I no likey Subway)
Back to cookin' this weekend. 

And then you see these pictures.

And it makes you work harder.

It makes you remember the good moments. 




The moments when a house was filled with friends.  The kids.  The kids' friends.  The dog.

The laughter.

The warm summer sun.

The cool pool.

The cold Corona's and super delish Martini's from Cha Bones-

All of it.


I came across this one of us at the YC.  4 years ago girls.  June of 2014.






Moments. 

Day-times, and night-times we can never get back.

And so we try to remind ourselves to look forward to good fun times. 

With friends.

And our birdies.



And just hoping and praying to have the health, and ability to some day step back just a little. 



I hope this midweek is treating you good.  I hope your perspective is looking for the good times again.

I hope you get to put your feet in cold water, and sip a good stiff cup-of-whatever-makes-you-happy.

And that you can chomp on some salty popcorn at Foxes.


Keep pushing kids.  Don't look back.  


Love,

This Mama Lisa


Monday, June 18, 2018

The Reset Button

I am the last one in the family to make any sort of appointment. For myself.

The only one I "torture" myself with, is a hair appointment. 

I loathe salons. 

Spending any of my precious time off in a salon chair is like washing a cat for me.

For the last couple of months I have been losing globs and globs of hair.  And when I say lots, I mean, ALOT.
Granted I was gifted with a massive amount of hair, and so those globs of hair are really not too noticeable.  For you.
But for me, it is. 
When I had Bill pick up my pony tail last week, he agreed.

The floors are lined with hair.  Our bed is filled with hair.  Yes, gross. And double EW when it gets in your toes. yuck.

It's e.v.e.r.y.w.h.e.r.e.  

My hairdresser mentioned it to me last month, and again this month.  

So I made an appointment. 

For labs.  For a Lisa checkup. 

The outcome is what we all kinda suspected.  

Stress.

I will change my shampoo's, conditioners, and all hair products to organic and chemical free where and when I can. 

When I walked into my doctors office, and hugged my nurse (whom I love so much "Maria") I started to cry.  Not sure why the emotions ran so high, but I just felt overwhelmed. 

I am going to do everything I possibly can to let things go.

To get back to my yoga. 

To step back from things and places that give me stress (hello, can't leave work, but will try hard to ease my load, and delegate just a tad bit more...wish me luck!)

Friday morning I sat in my favorite juice bar.  Texting my littlest birdie.  



Praying.

Smiling at strangers.

Reminding myself, just how fast this life is. 

Losing lots of hair is one thing.  But the hypertension I suffer from must get in control.

It's all up to me. 



It's all up to me to filter the goodness from bullshit.

The kindness from the evil.

Maybe I need to step away and breathe often.

Put my phone away?

Delete emails?  LOL jk

Can't go bald kids.

Bald aannnnd a big nose?

Oh, no bueno.

To Shelley who came over and sat dockside with me in pure laughter, chats, good wine, good eats, and lots and lots of love. Gracias

Was intending on a Father's Day Blog post on Friday.  One for my dad, and one for the man that stepped into my life taking on 2 extra's.  But, really...you kinda all know.

He's rad.

My dad is too. 

Hope this week is good. 

Today we say our final farewells to Ricky (Bill's brother)- 

More emotions to fill the pot!


Love,

This Mama Lisa

Thursday, June 14, 2018

Two Cakes

Wine. 

Red.

White.

Appetizers.

Shrimp Tacos.

Best friends.

Smiles.

Cheers.

And two adorable cakes. 



And lots and lots of laughter. 


And one incredible sunset. 

Happy Birthday Roxanne and Maria! 

Edie, thank you for opening your beach adobe to us.  For us.  With us.

Mama's of Seal Beach Summer 2018



Wednesday, June 13, 2018

Celebration Of Months

Happy TWO and a HALF years Kris!

You've climbed over some really slippery rocks.  

You've fallen down some very steep cliffs. 

And yet, you continue to get up every day, with a smile.

You are living this life to the fullest.

Even when a mama still nags like a rapper.

You push through.

I thank God for giving you this chance.

Even when most days are hard. 

You make the best of them.

I love you. 






Happy two-and-a-half baby!


This Mama Lisa

Friday, June 8, 2018

Beautiful Weekend To You.

Cheers to making it through another crazy long week!

Here's to yummy summer recipes, and lots of smiles and laughter with those you love.




Happy news for Craig and the whole Rapoza Family! 

Get back to your long walks with your beautiful bride and the doggo's. 

And in the water ridin' waves!

Booya! 

Kali and Grant's Graduation 2018 -Oceanside
 This day held so many emotions....so wild! 

Grant --- May 18, 2018--Riding waves with Dad. 



This Mama Lisa

Thursday, June 7, 2018

Happy First Birthday Skipper

Also known as Dip-Dip, Dipper, and Dippy Boy....

He's more attached to Kris than any animal I've ever witnessed.  
If Kris isn't home he'll sleep next to his backpack, or any article of clothing that has his papa's scent.

He's a smart feller, with very telling eyes. 

When he's sleepy he becomes grumpy just like a toddler.  

He'll whine and bark at random things, just simply because he needs to sleep. 

He's a pack follower. "Pack", meaning right on the heels of Kris. lol

He's delicate and yet tough.

He's in Kris' life for a strong good reason. 

Same for all of us. Even though Bill and I make it very clear, we're not parenting anything at this point.  Those dogs are yours, so you find sitters. LOL.

But this love is a true, nonjudgmental, non biased, dog to human love.  And human to dog, deeper love. 




Happy Birthday Little Skipper! I hope that belly ache you woke with this morning goes away quick.

Chewing on your papa's green onions in the garden probably needs to come to a halt-

We love you little dude.


Happy Thursday!

xoxo

Grammie

Tuesday, June 5, 2018

Well Hello Tuesday, Almost Wednesday.

Hey friends.  Tuesday already?  

My Monday was a busy one that's for sure.

I crave balance so much, yet in reality, our life is so far from it.
We literally hit the ground running all week. 
I woke on Monday morning reminding myself to keep the most important things in front.
Love.
Life. 
Friendship.

What I do strive to be is a good human.  A good partner.  A good mama  A good boss.  A good friend. A good daughter. 

Isn't it true we just want to make everything better? 

This last month offered us so much love. And so much change. So much beauty (daughter graduating with kick ass honors).  A new job she's learning to balance.  This last month offered us sickness in family members we'd never expect would leave this earth.  This last month offered us news of yet another "family" member diagnosed with the same c word.  (Keep kicking ass Craig!- Grants daddy)
This last month offered us birthdays and moments away with best-friends.  Laughing in uber shuttle rides like two teenage girls.  (Shelley I will always be so grateful for your giving and helping heart-If you're in the southern California area and want to order the best breakfast casseroles in all the land, let me know.)

This last month offered imperfection in all things "LIFE".

This last month offered strong hugs standing in the kitchen holding onto my partner with all we have just feeling both hearts beating. 

This last month offered some really realllly long sleepless nights of tossing and turning, listening to the city fall asleep and then wake up. 
This last month offered smiles, and cheers to glasses clinking together.

I welcome June with big open arms.  My dads birthday is tomorrow.  A few other good friends will celebrate next week, along with my aunt Ronda. 

This month will hopefully bring happy times. Better health reviews.  Hugs that entail chuckles instead of silence. 

Good glasses of wine with those we love. 


I put this picture up of me because I like it (Sandra & Vicki does my nose look small).  And if you wonder why this chic lady is laced in Fatal Clothing, it's because this sweet feller has wrapped his car in Fatal.  So we were Nascar groupies Saturday morning.  God Bless America! 




Happy June kids. 

Happy happy June. 



All my love,

Lisa Lynn

Friday, June 1, 2018

Hold LOVE the closest.



I hope you all have a beautiful weekend. 




It's been one wild week.


Thankful for so many things.  Yet, still question why bad things happen to good people.

And if you want to watch a good mama raising a good little boy, watch this video.

Project Freedom Ride


Love,

This Mama Lisa

Thursday, May 31, 2018

Happy Birthday Gaylord- Happy Birthday Maria- Happy Birthday Corey-Bear

Birthday celebrations in full swing yesterday---



Gaylord.  91.

Ninety one years old!
Ninety one years of roaming this Earth. Raising kids. Innovating your sharp witted mind.
Things may have slowed down a bit for you, but I know in your mind if you could, you certainly would.
Sipping good strong cocktails, with a mix of sarcasm.
Your heart has been broken this last week.
You miss your wife.
You miss your son.
You quietly sit and observe those around you.
You love your fireplace.
You love your outings to Norms.
You have a mind of an elephant.
Never forgetting the important things.
Your stories could captivate us for hours.
You've quieted a bit lately.
Who knows what's flowing through your soul.
Thank you for giving me the love of my life.

Happy 91st Birthday Gaylord!


Such a handsome man....

----------------------------------------------------

Maria.


My best friend.  My rock of lessons.  The one that will rally us girls together, and keep us in check when we're unraveling. Both in spirit and sadness. 

The reminder of a "let's get a round of waters" when the wine just won't stop.

The lover of weekly gathering. 


The first to jump up and help.  

Anyone. 

Maria, when I first met you 10 years ago I never knew how much of an impact you'd have on me.  And on my family. 

In more ways than one. You are amazing.

To me. 

Always. 

Happy Birthday homegirl.  Cheers to many more all together!

Let's go back to Park Ave. and jump curbs.  LOL!  I know that still freaks you out, but it was a good laugh for both of us- boom


Love you,

STAHL as you call me.

------------------------------------

Corey Bear--

Corey is a long time friend of Kris' whom worked for us.
Became like a second son to us.
I sat next to him for years. Watching him navigate through young adult life.
Relationships.
Girls.
Breakups.
New loves.
Soon he'd move on to a new job.  A job that physically allowed so much hard work.
That hard work allowed him to buy his first home.
He's getting married in September.
I am honored to have watched you evolve into such a fine, fine man.
I still miss sitting next to you-




So there you have the first batch of May birthdays!

Hope everyone is back on schedule after sharing a beautiful Memorial weekend.

Love,

Lisa Lynn


"I hope your birthday gave you as much happiness as you give us"




Tuesday, May 29, 2018

Happy Chapter 22 Miss.Kali Mae


I brought you into this world fast. 
Super fast, and super quiet. 
Focused on my little prize.

The minute you were placed on my chest in a flurry of cries I knew I would protect you with every ounce of motherhood. I knew the little girl I was gifted was going to change my life.  For the best ways.  The memories I will always hold so close of sitting next to you.  In the car.  In bed chatting for hours.  Driving to and from fields. And sometimes in raising girls, challenging ways.  You've kept me on my toes.  You've made me question my skills as a mother, and yet many times patting myself for getting through all those days.  Those days of accomplishments.  Those days of wiping tears from frustration during those teen years, reminding you just how strong a woman can be.  Those days of remembering your worth.  Those days of loving me back even when I held a firm "No".
Do I still hold the "lamest" curfew?
For sure, yea?  LOL

You have made me so proud.  So proud, I've found myself boasting to strangers about this daughter we've raised.  

They say it takes an army to raise kids.  And yet with you I don't think it took an army at all.  I feel like you were born an old soul with a kindred sharp heart.  One that knows when to hold em, and also when to fold em.
Except those first weeks when you wailed alldayeveryday ----so much I wanted to fold ya up and stuff ya in the laundry basket. LOL.  kidding. but not really.  

You've been blessed/cursed with your mama's technique of handling bullshit.  Sometimes we aren't proud of speaking up, and yet other times it's worth the words to clarify when something doesn't seem right. #Prague.

I wish you a happy birthday Kali. I mostly wish you safety, good health, and the knowledge to remember that bad times don't last, and if today seems hard, just be grateful for tomorrow's to start all over. 

I drove myself to the hospital on this day 22 years ago.  At just after 1pm, after a stroll at the Farmers Market where I started to see "stars" (high blood pressure)-

Admitting, inducing and having you in less than 2 hours completely natural. 

Leaving the hospital the next day with a heart full of protection, love and a good saddle to buckle up for this 22 year ride.  Breastfeeding those first few weeks notched as the toughest pages to date. Goshdarndoozy.  But we made it to ONE year! 

I am so thankful for you. 

You've made me a better mom.

A better friend.

A better human. 






Chapter 22 looks so good.  Keep pushing through on all those goals. 

Love, wishes and lots of kisses on your cheeks. 


Mama Lisa

Wednesday, May 23, 2018

Celebrating So Much


I have so many pictures to share of our graduate.  One whom walked the podium to the sound of "Kailyn Stahl Cum Laude" with a Bachelor In Mass Communication. 

The timing just doesn't feel right with the sadness lingering in our family right now. 

I'll be back next week for more love. 

More good news, versus bad. 

More sunshine, versus these dark clouds.  Although yesterday and the day before felt so fitting for the sadness that lingers.

I hope you all have a beautiful Memorial Weekend.  I wish you all safe travels if you choose to leave town for a bit.  I wish you all moments together as a family.  Or sitting next to your friends.

I hope you remember to be grateful for the moments on this Earth that are good.  Because in a quick moment things can change.

One phone call.
One doctor visit.
One lab result.

One moment.


Just be kind.  And forgive.


May PEACE be with you friends.


I'm gonna wrap my lover in all the love my soul can weep. 




This Mama Lisa


Pray for us. 
xoxo

Tuesday, May 22, 2018

The Burden Of Life.


Rick Haller

April 4, 1950- May 21, 2018


The leader of the family.

The big brother. 

The lover.

The best husband, and most dedicated loving father. 

The devoted grandfather. 

The dynamic has changed.  But the love for him will carry on forever.

Doris, I have no words that will comfort you. Except you did all your loving heart could.

Dena and Craig, you were his everything.

Vicki, Bill, Joni and Sandra, you were his purpose to protect and guide. Most of all, love. 

I am sorry.

I wish I could help all the hearts. 


With a heavy heart,

Lisa

Thursday, May 17, 2018

Don't Blink


Seems like yesterday we stood in the longest line of our lives to get into the stadium for high school graduation.  

Also boo-hoo'd all the way home after a long day of moving her into the dorms a couple months later.

THAT, I will never forget. 

Not the boo-hoo'n, but the fiasco that dorm administration put us through.
#guineapigs #hurryuptowait #hotterthanshit  #truckfullofbedbathandbeyond #sucker




So you humans out there preparing your student to head off to college, don't you worry, in a short time you'll be prepared to stand in more lines to celebrate the big day of graduation again!  

Only this time, you really pray hard they've got their hearts set straight on what they want in life!


I hope you all have a super good weekend.  

If you pray, please pray for the Haller family.  Pray for Bill. Pray for Vicki, Joni and Sandra. 
This heart wrenching reality of life, sickness, closure, peace and family comes true quicker than we ever want it to.  They need all the love.  All the peace.  All the answers.  
Personally I wish I could say more to Rick.  I wish I could wrap love and peace on all of them.

As always, wish I woulda. 
Because I coulda. 

"Seek peace and pursue it"

This Mama Lisa

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

Is It A Girl Thing?

Are you excited to watch the wedding this weekend? 

I am!



 I am so excited for Megan.  For many reasons, but the top because she's a California girl!  What about that beautiful hair of hers that is frizzy just like me so I can only emphasize more with her in the spot light-- even with hairdressers.  Just keepin that shiz tame. LOL!

Also, it seems she comes from some wonky roots.  (don't we all...)
Maybe 

The last time I watched any action there was when they laid Princess Diana to rest.
I can remember waking in the middle of the night, watching in complete awe, with tears streaming down my face for her family. Most importantly, her baby boys.




What about the nutty STEP sister?





I laugh every time I see her interview.


This joyous time for the royals, just proves that this world is full of imperfect families.

Humans.

Fathers.

Mothers.

Stepsisters?  Or is she just tryin' to cash in on some fame.  LOL!


Hope your humpday is goin' okay...

Keep pushing.

Keep swimming.

Keep tryin...

Or at least keep tryin' to find that balance.

Just don't be nutty like that stepsister.

Gawh.

Most of all, get up and make a difference, some way and some how.

Even if its' kindness.


xo

Leese





Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Love Is What We Hold Onto

So much going on you guys. 


So much.


We are sorting so many emotions.


So many "Why's"


And yet, we have so many things to be grateful for. 





She's gonna kill me you guys- The "Tomboy" has since "left the room"-  I will always cherish these memories of you racing Kali. 





#whitesunglasses


The phase of  "I don't want you to do my hair"



This little sweet pea.  So proud of you Kali.  Almost to the finish line!




I love you. 

Your mommy forever.



You guys, I beg you to make peace with those you know you need to. 
Tomorrow might not give you that chance.