Wednesday, August 17, 2022

Showing Up For 33.



Thirty Three.


The boy that made me the woman I am.

My strength. 

My knowledge.

My kindness.

My willingness to take anything on at anytime to protect him. To protect them.

My only son.

Kristopher Michael Stahl

Born August 17, 1989 - It was a Thursday. In the very early hours. 

I've never felt a love so deep.

I never knew just how much I would protect someone.

You kept me going from the tender age of 19 when I had no idea where life would take me. 

You made me successful. In love. And in life.

Thank you my son....

Happy Thirty Third Chapter Kris. 

I love you more than words can be typed on a screen, or told through a phone.

I just love you so much.


Mama


Tuesday, August 9, 2022

One Day.

 One day,  you're a young vivacious aunt working in the corporate world, no kids, driving a red Volkswagon beetle. Sharply dressed in her corporate dresses. She'd pull up to gather us for a weekend and it was a vacation of spoilin' for us two girls. She showed us, young nieces, just how deep her love was for family.  Rearing children later in life, her perspective was LOVE first, rules second. Sitting in traffic from LA to Alhambra like it was nothing to scoop up my sister and me.  She taught me how to apply lipstick, smudging my lips together.  She bought me my first pair of heels at Kinney Shoes. She showed me how to make quiche.  And when I say show me, she never measured things out, she would whip up a crust and fill it with the most divine broccoli and cheeses.  When I was 13, in her kitchen as she prepared over 40 for her Peruvian girlfriend's wedding.  We filled her car to the brim in boxes.  All along I was proudly wearing the new heels she bought me.  She was the neighborhood kindness spreader. 

They moved their sons to Lombard, IL back in I believe, 1993.

She was there, and sometimes here, but we always knew a phone call could give us the Cece voice. Her advice. Sometimes she'd nag me about not being married until she realized the topic would fade once Bill and I hit 20 years.

She passed away unexpectantly exactly a month after my Grandma.  My grandma's second child. 

Grandma left here 6/22/22 Cece 7/22/22

Cecilia Graff, my aunt.  Gone in her sleep.  Due to arrive back to California for our grandma's memorial. 

You see quotes and poems about showing those you love, that you do.  Things that should be said.

Tell those you love you do.

The morning we all got the call I just kept thinking....Woah. If there's Heaven she's with grandma, and Arlene and Zander our cousin. I thought she was at peace from bills, and from whatever Earthly grief she was traveling around each and every day. But her sons! Her husband.  She was the rock. 

So, our grandma's memorial was rescheduled while we all hovered around our three cousins. Peter II, Philip, and Patrick. Three boys adored their mom.  Their mom would protect them with every grain in her body. 

She's gone. 

There's a song by Chicago, and for as long as I can remember it reminds me of her. "Saturday's in the park"- 


I was walking the other morning on the beach, it came on and I thought just how fast and crazy this life is, and then you can't call them ever again. When she was here and we all sat in our grandma's house around grief, fear and tension so thick you could slice it with a knife.  Her last words were....Be nice.

On her Facebook page her "ABOUT" says -  I pray for Peace.

I see her smile in this picture and I want to remind each and every one of you. Go make amends.

NEVER stop giving out love.  Compliments. Smiles.

Just like that. 

One phone call. 

Cece passed away.  


It seems like I was just a young girl, standing by her side. Listening to her go on and on about whatever she was teaching us.  Her hospitality and loving ways to serve others.

Cece, I love you.

I'll miss you.

I'll have regrets about never seeing your home in Illinois.  Your cooking.  Your love to your boys.

I love you.

Grief is just love with no place to go.  I read that quote the other morning. 

Peace.

Love.

One Day.

One day, you get the call.

She's gone. 

This Mama Lisa