I. Am. A. Freak.
I bolted out of the room yesterday. The brave Mom that has been down some pretty gnarly roads, and has witnessed more heartbreak than I care to share. Or at least I'm sure I've painted a decent picture of where I've been.
But....
I couldn't stay in the room as they started to drill into his spine.
My legs, and my body begin to lose all weight bearing skills. Ha!
As we arrived at City Of Hope I was trying to find the closest parking to eliminate him from walking in the warm sunshine...but he declined. I'm okay Mom.....I can walk-
He was quiet, and he was on charge-on mode.
Can't blame him...and so I just march on. Striking up good ol' boring Mama conversation-
When in reality my view looks like this-
He on his phone. Smiling at me, and as always...enjoying the company we share together.
Mentioning how it sucks to deal with something like this. How he still wondering why....why did cancer pick him to fight with. Why this obstacle. Why does he have the body that is bald, and skinny staring at him. The sick hurting stomach every day. To hear from his doctor that even after transplant he has a 60% chance to live a long good life. Grabbing shit by the horns and trying to make the best of it because the world is cheering you on. When in reality you're staring at yourself, or your Mom preparing a meal thinking, what the fuck. Why.
But he moves on. And still bites and barks, but smiles and loves. Always loving more. He's built out of love. And a wild free spirit.
Only now, it requires sunblock, and coverage. Lots and lots of coverage. And not just for sun.
Not just for sun, Kris. We and I will rally around you finding the best. For as long as I can.
We chatted with is doc for a while. I've actually become most respected of him. (He was hard to read at first, causing me to just shut down on overly sweetness)But I like him. More than ever. And more than the last oncologist. Dr. Farol seems to care. His platelets were lower, so we're switching some meds around and waiting for some more labs to come back. He's also taking one less steroid.
Also to switch to an afternoon dose of steroid to eliminate the sleepless nights.
As we left on our walk back out to my car, I mentioned trying to find the bracelets we placed up in the HOPE trees.
We just gotta fatten' him up!
And guess who I'm driving out to see tomorrow?!!! She's taking me to a new cute place for lunch, coastal side- So excited!
This little birdie....
And if you wonder what Kris is craving and indulging in......
It's these....
Spicy hot pickles.
And you wanna know what I'm craving?!
A good dirty martini-
That's what.....
Have a super good weekend you lovers. If you haven't purchased a card or flowers....you can hand make a cute card, with real words of love inside. AND......you can head over to Home Depot and get a nice plant.
I was there yesterday....and wowsa doodle.....CUTE plants (already potted and filled with LOVE)!
As for me and my lover, he's been under the weather, so maybe I can officially give and get some big ol' kisses and hugs! Talk about avoiding the plague- hahaha.
So scary when it hits this close to home!
Be safe out there, and spread smiles...
xo
This Mama Lisa
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