Friday's Tid-Bit's

What a beautiful day...........I have a full day of work.  But to drive in on bare freeways, and sunshine mixed with birds chirping....life is good. 

Fed my thriving bird his normal breakfast of whatever sounds good.  Plus a yogurt, to which he never really eats.  But ate.  Along with a handful of pills.  Starting Chemo this afternoon.

Sometimes I wake with kindness flowing from my veins, while other days I make my path to the kitchen to pour that cup o' jo for simple reasons, like alertness.  Sad truth...that some of us rely on coffee to just speak.

I actually served myself a super cold cup of water first.  As I made my way past Kris' room, he politely lays there waiting to hear me wake.  The moment I open my door, I assume his heart settles, and kind of like a baby in a crib..."Morning Mom"-  In those terms it meant..."Unhook me"-

My reply was, "Sure honey one sec...let me wake up just two more minutes"-  

I lay a towel out.  Pull my syringe.  My alcohol wipes.  My little green cap for the port.

And I get started.  On the release of the TPN that gives him new chances.  Last night Kali and I could smell the aroma.  It smells like baby formula, only colored as Gatorade.

As Kali and I were "priming" before starting the infusion last night, we smiled at eachother.  Just how crazy these pages are in the chapter book. Those moments that make us actually stare and chuckle.

Deep inside, when I wake in the middle of the night and hear things down the hallway, it's kind of like having a newborn, or baby...and you hear things that aren't even worthy of getting up.  But your Mama ears make you get up. Sometimes I hear beeps, other times I hear the clank of the iv cart moving down the hallway. 

26 years later. 

And if you think I feel bad-ass for nailing this chapter.  

I do.

The minute I take this needle out of the little pack, my stomach flutters like a mo-fo. 

And yet, I charge on. 

As I drove to work this morning, I received a text from one of Kris' longtime friends. 

New life.  A new baby to join this Earth in November.

My reminder to her to journal. To keep notes and a little journal of these days. 

I remember eating an entire box of Kraft macaroni and cheese like a hungry husky dog at 2 months pregnant.

To want to puke it back up the minute I would see the arches at McDonalds.  ew.

The movies that were popular,  like Turner and Hootch. 

The music.  The sights and smells.  All of it. 

I was a journal junkie. I am quite sure you are not surprised.  

You would not believe the things I've saved.  And journal'd for my babes.

Guess it falls under the child that has no childhood goodies tend to over hoard for hers. LOL!

My other thought that I didn't share with her, and held it in.

"Buckle-Up" little one. 

B.U.C.K.L.E.   U.P.

How sweet is new life. 

This miracle. 

As for me?  I've been wearing red lipstick.  And that alone is a miracle.

Feeling tired and worn down?

Toss on some red lipstick.  Works every time. White pale skin?  Red Lipstick.

Tear stained cheeks. Red Lipstick.  Dark circles.  Red Lipstick. Can't decide what clothes to wear cuz it's ten degrees in the morning and 95 by afternoon.  Red Lipstick.

It's Friday. Red Lipstick.

kidding. 

Tuh' Duh'!    Happy Friday!

Later.

Keep pressin on. And don't look back. 

I've been dreaming of days filled with laughter, good wine and good friends...

 

This Mama Lisa