Wow, talk about flooding the soul with so much emotion with just pictures. woah. If I could help one person in this world while battling cancer, chemo, treatments, and most of all...transplant....it would butter my heart in more ways than one could explain. Some of these pictures are out of order. I'm cramming them in for the sake of this day.
A day that my boy still isn't feeling 100% on his 100th day. His appetite fell off a few days ago..
We'll hover some more. Or as I told him this morning...maybe not. Maybe I should just sit back and let him navigate through the days that feel good, and those that don't.
He knows I am here.
I pray like I've never prayed before. It feels good to see that the world is praying for him and us too.
Trying to get myself back in the game of life has been interesting to say the least.
Letting go, to let him.......thrive. And grow. Easier said than done.
Love hard you guys. Do not take today, tomorrow or the day after that for granted.
And if you have pictures of the days, weeks and months past...frame em. Tell your loved ones, you love them.
Hug tighter.
Smile at a stranger...as I always, always...always have said....you NEVER know what someone else is battling. This life is hard. It's so twisted and so unexpected-
This rollercoaster is real. IF you are lucky enough to avoid buying these tickets, you should.
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| Admission paperwork...Dec 2015 |
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| Our last dinner out at The Crab Pot as a family, with Jen's family....Sunday Jan 3rd 2016 |
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| A place I will always, always hold very close to my soul. |
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| Day 4- A wet raining beautiful morning as I made my way to my baby for his radiation torture. |
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| Hello Duarte foothills! |
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| The beginning of the darkest days.... |
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| Days before treatment being fitted for radiation, and lung blockers...(red face from palifermin injections) |
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| Second day early morning radiation. This sweet nurse over doping him...a day I will never forget. |
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| Third day. Just the two of us. So sicky already-- |
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| These pictures make my stomach turn. |
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| I'm sorry Kris to see these...but it's life- The life we were handed. And so.... |
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| My poor baby... |
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| Fried red face... |
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| A sickening achievement. One I can never fully understand. Ever. |
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| A rash so bad he couldn't lay down. He shivered in pain....GVHD- (donor cells attacking his) |
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| Out of sinc picture...but it was the day of the one and only chemo he'd receive there. They called it "Dynamite" |
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| Warrior for life |
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| PT in the room....zero counts...couldn't leave. In fact, would be in this room, these four walls for weeks. |
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| Those suits....the sound of the crunchy-ness- |
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| Johnathon! Brother in God. Ex gang member. Transplanted day before Kris. Spreads love like a ninja now... |
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| Hitting rock, rock....bottom. |
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| The evening the stems arrived- Very ill. Very irritated. Very weak. Wanting us to leave the room, but remaining polite. Reggie our nurse working hard and fast.... |
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| All the way from Germany.....and I can't wait to meet him someday! |
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| Strangest, quietest, surreal moment. |
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| Our auntie came with homemade Pasta Fagouli soup, bread and drinks for us.....LOVE. Pure love. |
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| Feeling terrible at like day +6 At rock bottom... |
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| Best friend comes to visit.... |
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| Finally strong enough to want to read cards and books. |
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| A day he looked so forward to....being with the dogs, and out of his room. |
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| The walking of the halls would begin.... |
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| Zackie would come on a Sunday and we'd play the longest game ever. |
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| Another good homie, Stone- |
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| Nino! |
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| We told Bucksie Dad was coming home! |
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| Getting ready to leave! Saying our love to the best nurse in all the land. EVER. Sara Irons.....#1 |
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| A journey, for sure. |
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| Ready to GO HOME! The lure in his hand....the camera being held by Sara as she watched tears fall down my cheeks! |
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| Home and beginning to try all things fattening. Mac-n-cheese....sliders, soda. All things I normally don't buy. |
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| Starting to wean from the steroids...not feeling very well....but smiling at me... |
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| Still takes this many...twice a day... |
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| Twice a week, every week. For 100 days. |
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| Always counting my blessings as I walk with him in and out of the beautiful City Of Hope.... |
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| We've sprinkled those trees with bracelets. Captain Kris for Life! |
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| Port Change/Clean- Weekly... |
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| Hannah and Kris...she was so happy to have him home....a former cuddler... |
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| Best friend takes a doctor appointment with us. Because he is filled with LOVE. |
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| Part of the deal....every week. All week. All day. Meds. |
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| Too weak to walk, but not too weak to be silly...crossed eyes for the win! |
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| GVHD in the gut |
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| Bro & Sis |
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| Kali, Auntie and Kris |
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| For the Warrior in me- March/April 2016 |
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| Let's Do This! City Of Hope March 2016 |
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| TPN = Butterflies...in my tummy! |
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| Back in for a cold.... |
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| After the weekend stay at Le Resort COH- |
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| A casual stroll around the block...getting stronger! |
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| Easter 2016 |
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| Day 90 |
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| Day 91 |
Today marks day 100. He's fighting to eat. To get stronger. To live the life he wants.
It's not an easy road. No one said it would be. If I had to do it all over again beside you, I would.
I pray every single day for you Kris. I pray that you become stronger, and better. I pray that you stay safe, and wash your hands. I know I nag you more than you want to hear. But if you put your hands near your face, and in your eyes, it's not a winning combination of germs and health. You most certainly can lose the battle. I still look at all of our pictures around my house of you, and Kali. From your childhood. I will never stop wondering why you've been chosen for this fight.
I pray that you will look back on this someday as a nightmare that we all woke from and move on.
This blog of mine has shown us all just how important living life to the fullest is. Yet keeping priorities and work in front too. Staying focused isn't easy for you as you said yesterday. I can imagine with all the chemo's and radiation you've had how a body must feel. Not to mention, your poor brain.
I hope the next hundreds and hundreds of days offer you more good days, than bad. I hope that I can stick around to see my grandbabies one day, and see you better with spirits high and soaring as you once were.
I hope that this ugly disease doesn't win in all the support groups I see and read daily. I pray for them.
For their families. Their Mom's.
I hope that you remember until my last breath, or yours, that I will fight to the end of the Earth.
Or to the Heavens. For you, and for Kali. I never knew I'd love someone this much.
You are my little bubby. I am proud of your strength. Most important, I honor you for the attitude you've tried so hard to keep. When most times you'd like to tell us all to go eat shit.
But you don't.
Because, well....love is love.
And this just made us all love a little bit harder.
I love you Kristopher.
Honored to call you my son. Toughest birdie I know.
This Warrior For Life Mama Lisa
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