Here are a few of the things I observe. Some currently, and some not.
- When shopping for groceries you want to get in and out super early to prevent being exposed to germie people and germie carts.
- While getting a manicure and the worker continues to sniffle and slightly hack under their mask you almost want to get up and walk out.
- Hearing a simple sneeze in public places make you want to run.
- Each day you wipe the common spots down in your home like a ninja with wipies on steroids given to you by the hospital.
- You stare at your son with more intense observation than ever. I over evaluate even his pupils. Not to mention his dark circles under eyes that always kinda tell me where his platelets and WBC's are. ------>Hello Mom intuition.
- You pace by the bathroom waiting to hear if help is needed. And dread diarrhea. Thank God he's been okay.
- You research "highest calorie" foods on your ipad, kind of funny considering we've always been conscious to healthy eating.
- You constantly look for signs of sick people. Runny noses, hacking and coughing----BYE!
- Your hands are so dry and crunchy from washing, but found the most amazing olive oil coconut lotion given to me by Doris(Bills SIL) and it seriously cures all!
- You have strength hidden in places you never knew was even there.
- You clean puke and shit from a doctors office bathroom floor like a pro, even though you're freaking out because he's ready to faint and your Mama bag and stuff is down the hall and doc and nurse have no idea where we went. But you stay calm enough to remind him to breathe.
- You cook faster and with more intention than ever.
- You stare intently in doctors eyes verifying words of concern.
- You are exhausted, but keep going because there is no other road to take.
- Your heart melts when you see him lock eyes with Jen, to soon do his little hand gesture hand wave.
- You have no desire to be out with friends even with invites to get out for a breather, because even though it sounds good to them, it truly isn't to you at the moment. #hoveringmama
- You still research leukemia and the lifestyle of BMT because you want to know the best of the best.
- You still want to poop when you read statistics.
- You are grateful for each day.
- You are still so challenged with language challenged nurses. Wondering why English isn't tested and shaped in those nursing classes. The difference between he and she is HUGE.
- You get nervous each week after labs making your way to doc office because you never want declination, you're selfishly only searching for inclination.
- You realize when people speak of the ups and downs after transplant, it's no joke.
There's many more weird little trivial things in thr daily life of care taking and loving a child, grown or not in this process. Paperwork, medicines and administration would blow some people over.
Today marks sixty something days....I'm trying not to count the days because really, it's a lifetime of changes. Of praises, and begging for mercy. It's loving where you can and standing strong for eachother. There's folks that would love a more one on one update about Kris. Family that want details. I try to keep this slice of life wide open, and detailed. Some days sadder than others.
While some days, I laugh my ass off because it's good to laugh. I can't do detailed reports individually by phone right now. It's more than you can imagine. So for now, bear with me and read Le'Blog for now...K? K....
And some days it's good to pour a nice stiff drink and sit back in sheer amazement.
That rollercoaster you got on. Man, the downhill part, sucks ass.
Today, he's up and outside fiddling with something in his trunk. An airbag. Whatever. It. Is.
He's up!
Today marks two weeks of a whole different Kris.
And to that I say..."Thank you God"
Hope your Sunday is filled with good day dates, or good meals at home!
And some good wine!
Big hugs,
This Mama Lisa
No comments:
Post a Comment