Well, another week closing up shop, right guys? Ours started at 6am, wandering into our big handsome bald birdies room. His first big genuine chirp in weeks, "Morning"...
His second reply, "mom, I'm nervous".
And of course the standard reply from me ALWAYS, "Honey, you will be just fine..you always are".
And he is.
He's definitely one of the strongest persons I've been privileged to know.
The hard part was not letting him eat or drink because you know the drill..[Nothing to eat or drink after midnight] However, after I did my math, and figured that by the time they actually got him in that OR room it would be around 2. And dangit, I was right. So, I let him have water this morning. A few sips here and there. For one, to wet his whistle. And for two, hello dehydration zone.
We made our way to the beautiful Helford building at COH. Only this time, we'd navigate by wheelchair to the second floor. A part of me felt kind of queasy and anxious as I wheeled him into the elevator. You do remember how I have this thing with the smell of elevators. Ew.
I brought along his coziest blanket. Covered in that, along with my mama bag tilted on his lap.
I also had an ice chest in my trunk ready. For discharge. Crackers and Gatorade. What's interesting, is carrying around the 19 pills trying to figure out when and how to get them in him.
They took him in. I stepped out. Soon to be called. Bedside smiling at eachother, while the little oxygen mask filters fresh air in. A new nurse in recovery would make his way in, introducing himself "Clovis". Instantly I feel his vibe. He apparently carried on a conversation with my bird as he was coming out of a propathal (Michael Jackson drug totally spelt wrong..sorry). They had discussed a burrito that Kris wanted. Kris has always loved a good Carne Asada burrito. Interesting though, all he talked about prior to the procedure was pizza.
And so, Clovis and I had a good laugh. We also began to discuss this life. This life Kris was handed.
How it started, and all the goodies that came in the package. Chemo. Doctors. Transplant. Be The
Match. International donors.
Clovis came from Texas. From a cancer research center. We both shared a tiny bit of our path. All within 30 minutes. One of the things he learned about me is my squimish antics with needles. And ports. IV's. Sharing with him how a home health care nurse would soon be coming over to help me learn. Because we need to get him filled with calories and nutrition.
He left for a short minute, returning with "Okay Mom...you are gonna do a favor for me...you are gonna flush his port"
Um. Ok.
The cutest part of it, was I had no chance to pull my coward hat on.
Game on. Pulling the attached IV lines off. Swiping and cleaning, first the red one. Wiping it in circles no less than ten times, the more the better of course. You're dealing with a direct shunt right into your sons heart. Soon, I'd learn to push 3cc's in, pull back until I'd see blood in the line and then push it back. All of it. The whole syringe full. Moving over to the blue line next.
I felt a tad but uneasy, but nothing I couldn't do.
Stepping up.
Learning from someone in my path. A new introduction to a new nurse. To someone that cared enough to teach me.
The kindness in his heart to navigate a nervous mom.
Soon, we'd be loaded into the car home bound.
Talking pizza all the way down the 605. Arriving home, jamming to The Milk Barn to get him the craving he deserved. Knowing that rule was broken but trusting a family run homemade pizza.
He devoured 4 pieces. Jen arrived pushing him to eat that 4th piece.
And soon, our home health care nurse would arrive. For the first consult.
And the language barrier was at 95% on my meter.
But something I suffer from is inappropriate laughter at inappropriate times.
So standing bedside. Nurse. Jen. Kris. And me.
I started to get that feeling. Of laughing.
Why? I can't explain.
I don't think I will ever know.
This was our consult. I'd move her into my kitchen to finish with the trillion repeat answers.
Meds. Schedule. Paperwork.
As she left I locked our front door. Quickly thinking to myself...what a full day it was.
How lucky I was. My prayers for peace. For answers. For a decent day to help him.
And even in meeting people in our passing of this chapter. Clovis. What a saint. Port Flushing Saint!
I'm thankful.
I'm shameful for laughter when it shouldn't be.
But sometimes I wonder...maybe that's part of the plan.
Maybe it's part of laughing in the rain.
Happy weekend to you friends...
I have to work. A desk I've neglected all week.
Our littlest is coming home Sunday. She's done with finals. She's done with sorority "Little" stuff.
I'm thankful for another day.
Hoping to laugh...just a little bit more.
Big Love,
This Mama Lisa
Ps. Blogging from my ipad in bed creates bloopers in grammar and spelling...please pardon me!
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