The days and weeks leading my path in this crisis with our boy, my friends stood by my side. From arriving at the hospital to just sit in the courtyard across from me, or sitting in the cafeteria with me as I looked through goodie bags they'd make me. Anything to make me smile. Most importantly they provided humanity to tell me that WE WILL get through this. I never doubted our friendship. Ever. And this past weekend was a true light above my little noggin....These girls.....these girls. Are my rock.
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| The slices of KMS life. From babyhood, to now. I could stare at these pictures for hours..... |
Maria's first text message to me. "I'm setting the date for Dec 5th"- Although I knew we'd need to do a fundraiser, I didn't have the spirit, time or energy to even begin a layout for one.
And just like that, they were getting in touch with Kali. Asking for emails. Foraging through phone lists, and contacts. All along I'm working, driving to and from appts. in and out of hospitals, and taking care of a home. Replying to them as they needed things from me. The hard part in this, I am a planner. Type A.
The feeling of flaky was riddling me daily. And the reminders. No..."Lisa we got this"
And they did. I arrived the week before at Cindy's. Where she not only hand made cards for the party. But had dinner ready for us. In pure Cindy style, these weren't just any appetizer. These were the "Cindy" way....home-made and delish. From the day I met her, I knew her hands built things from love. She too will walk to the end of the world for her babies. (These bracelets were ordered and donated from my cousins Dom and Janine-Thank you!xo)
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| A place we'll soon get to know very well. Bert (Maria's hubby) is a well known fundraising committee gentleman at COH. His work, and his dedication is something only a family like us going through the cancer fight would know. Feel. Touch. Wear and see. Bert, thank you. |
From room to room you'd see pieces of love. For my boy. For this fight. Captain Kris. Representing the color orange. For Leukemia. Never in a million trillion years did I know how much this color would represent us. Us as a family. Extended through friends, colleagues, family, from little cousins to big cousins. To my entire family. Wearing this color of orange as a weapon for strength.
The cards Cindy made, with her perfectly sharpened pencils, (deserving a photoshoot of their own) is it just me, or do sharpened pencils like this make you want to sit and doodle.....
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| A blank canvas to share thoughts. Love. Words to read daily as he fights this next big fight. A place where I will line the walls with love. With encouragement. With pictures. City Of Hope you will have our next brave fighter soon. |
And so, as I began to scroll through the many pictures my sweet littlest birdie took of the afternoon....many could have been deleted. You know the typical story as a human. Deleting the "ones" we don't think we look good in. But then you look at the other one of your best friends and one looks great. And so on and so forth. I'm pretty sure there will be plenty in here that others would have wanted to delete. Whether it be the big nose shot in the below of me. Or the one above where my eyes are shut, and Shell's setting her spirit cup down, and we aren't posed perfectly. But this is us. This is us, you guys. This is my pack. Big noses, drink setters, eyes closed, swooshed hair. This is us. My glue-
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| The friend that will text me daily during the darkest weepiest part of the storm, just to remind me everything is gonna be okay. That my strength can't be faltered. That I can do it. Encouraging me to keep up that strength so we can plan a trip to a far far away place some day. |
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| Uncensored, and perfect. |
And Shelley will kill me because she's the one that grabs the camera after every shot to review it. But look at that hair toss. I mean, Shell.....80's--------and plus, I'm chewing on rocks. So.....
And Roxanne looks perfect. As I type she's in surgery having a hysterectomy today. Praying for strength. And comfort. And the coziest jammies when you get home.
My Auntie Nettie made this fantastic box for donations....just look at the detail......
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| The vines of my tree. |
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| Imperfectly perfect. Love. |
Mad love to these girls that worked around the clock for this fundraiser....
And just like that, the party was nearing an end, but my local friends continued to roll in. While this Mama Bird and Baby Bird shared moments....
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| Because in the end, when you find true happiness and guarded love from humanity in a true form, you feel it. |
And for that I will forever be grateful. To you Maria. Shelley. Cindy. Roxanne. You girls, move me in ways you might not ever know....
To the Dads that stand by us. That take us by the hand when the tides push us back. Thank you.
To our baby's friends that come out to support because they've watched their friend crumble.
Mac-Duts Daddy-O
It was so nice to take a break, and look around at family. Friends. Love. Laughter. Little cousins. Hugging my aunts, and my uncle. Taking in, to those that took the time for us.
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| City Of Hope....I am ready for you. Well. Kinda. |
The next morning we decided to have Kris come over and open his cards. (I don't want him in crowded places right now because of viruses) For a couple of reasons. First, I thought it would be wise to gather his donations and get them in the bank, because hello, mama needs new shoes. jk. Seriously, I would rather have those safe in the bank. And second, I thought it would be nice to have breakfast together, to soon sit on the dining room floor and go through each card. Through each word. Through each second, and minute someone took to write words. To him. Friends that have been down this Transplant road, and brought him flannel sheets because she knows what's next. To read how a family member is encouraging him. Who drove many miles to come write those words. And donate.
Donating at a time when finances become tight, and more meaningful. To look at every single envelope. Especially the ones our little cousins put letter after letter of puffy stickers to form what they believed said "Get Well" or "I love you"- Or their new talent...writing their name.
I watched my boy tear up. Especially reading a card from my sister. Because she's changed his diapers and will do whatever it takes, whenever to get him better. He knows this. He will become sicker before better when he admits. Going through these cards now is the best choice.
It was a day of reflecting. And celebrating. And sharing our path. What will happen next is actually very scary to me. I wish our path was sooner than later, only because it's like one of those things you just want to get going. I still wake every night, all night. Panicking. I still get up every day in prayer. I still sit up and look at his pictures and can't believe cancer is trying to take down our family. I still sit up and remind myself how lucky we are to have a match. I still remind myself that my higher power brought me here because he knows I'm strong. And so what won't take me down, as usual will make me stronger.
I thank you friends. To Jim and Rosa Bell for driving down. It means more to me than you may know. I hope to repay you with tons of extra hugs some day. To The Petersons whom stopped by to share their story. Of parenting, heartbreak, and the life in science. You're pretty rad Dave. And your wife is a pretty incredible little sugar. The two of you make a little love story. To Liz Mikalson for coming by, when you don't even know Kris, but did it for me. For our family. To Susie, Sheila, and Jane...again, just supporting me. To my aunts that continue to support me on the sidelines. You are why I can keep going. To my cousins.You drove from Texas..jk(Chino-same thing ha)-I love you. And my little cousins Ava, Cameron, London and Kennedy. Love you stickers, and notes. - To Sandra, my sis-in-not-law but you know what I mean. Your love, your essential oils. Your notes. Your encouraging love. Thank you. Little Rocky, your note made our whole family cry. To Vicki and Riki- Generous much?! Holy cow. Thank you. Riki, sign up for modeling little one. Or shall I say tall one. Mike and Beth Pepper, you already know my love for you. And my spirit angel is holding on to your wings.
My normal crew of Kyoko and Mark Sickler. You know my love. It runneth deep. And keep those angels peeing please. Because laughter, or shall I say Marks laughter is what will push me through. To Randy and Carmen you two are too generous too. Your presence makes it feel like we're family. Russ, you came even when you're heart might be aching for your loss. Laura, your laughter is contagious. To the friends that sent donations in. Another round of applause to Maria, Shelley, Cindy, Roxanne, and Rachel- Thank you.
I don't know if I can repay this. But maybe someday somehow, I can.
I love you all. Tomorrow we embark on the very beginning of our journey at City Of Hope. A long day filled with lots of information. A day that will probably give me the jitters, as they always do. But I will pray for strength. For extra back pats and little back affirming rubs on Kris. As I know he's fifty times more scared.
No moving backwards. It's time to move in the direction of a CURE. Of kicking cancer to the curb.
To let him get back IN the water instead of just on TOP.
May you all have a peaceful rest of the week. I'll try to grow a sack and take some pictures tomorrow.
Love, and the BIGGEST hug to you all---
This Warrior Mama Lisa
ps. If you're reading this post and think, shit...she forgot me. Please. Forgive. Me.
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