Salt Water And Snow.

I started to post something I wrote in the early hours on Saturday, and had to re-think it.  It's so black.  So down, and so deep.  Slices of my soul are cut up.  I have lost a bit of me.  And yet, I still try to see the magic in the holiday. Even when I just want to lay in bed.  It's real kids.

As I stated before I've battled a little bit of depression during Christmas.  I have for years. 

This year I feel/felt like I was keeping it together.  Maybe the adrenaline of life's daily reminders kept me in check.  Maybe staying busy at work answering the worlds questions about fiberglass, and invoices. Or maybe, just maybe I feel like God is at work in my heart.  In our family, and in our home. Or maybe it's the bucket of home-made chocolate chip cookies my friend Erica brought over.  DANGER--- And so I saved that post.  (Maybe for another day)-(maybe not, maybe I can read it later in life and get a good little chuckle)-

I left to finally grab Christmas shopping by the balls, and walked into my first store.  8am. It was freezing out. As I walked into Michaels (hello, my fav store)- The heater was on full blast.  Two things already in my favor.  I knew the day was mine.  I knew that my sad face was turning itself over.  I knew that my path would be peaceful.  And so I shopped.  As much as I could, until the cryingtoddlerhour started.  

I dashed home to make my home-made goods, crank the heater, and stuff bags into closets.  

Yesterday I made a point to shop for a few nights worth of good organic yummy dinners.  I knew Kali was off for an adventure today. 

 And of course, I knew deep deep down, that my oldest birdie was making plans to be right.back.out. on the seas.   Does this FREAK me out? Yes.  

It's 40degrees in the morning.  He can't get sick before Jan 4th.  

Does he want to get his soul filled to the top with all things boat. fish. rods. friends? You bet.

He's gonna be on lock down for over 100 days.  Swallow that. 

I know he's trying to.

He posted a picture on Saturday that made me laugh until I cried that ugly face laugh.  LOL! He's dancing and I had to watch it over and over.  

 

Anyway! How about I put a smile on my face!  Pray I don't get more face cream in my stocking -eh em Bill-

And pray my babies just stay safe. 

Because having fun and living this life, is what it's about.  Right?

 

We aren't guaranteed tomorrow-

Big LOVE, big jumps, and big fish!

GO GET em world. 

Too blessed to be bitter--------  ??

ps-  What is a Turtle Dove?

Love,

NOTScroogette

xo