One of the things I realize I miss, is taking pictures. The day Kris was diagnosed and admitted, I was on my way to dinner with my friend Laura. I had switched purses into a smaller one for the important things. Money, lip gloss and phone. That night I came home from the hospital to never not only carry that purse again, but I haven't had the desire to hold that camera. And my bigger bag that holds my camera.
I will forever probably feel like a tiny slice of my soul left. A smidget of Lisa will forever be gone. Don't get me wrong, I still love a good laugh. Good wine. My friends, and the great things in life. Silly-ness will never leave me. But there is something that I can't rock out of me.
I just feel like a tiny bit of me is tainted. This morning while in line at the post office. For stamps. STAMPS. For work. The guy working was so cheerful and really kind, had all the questions firing at me. "So are you done with Christmas shopping"- How's the holidays treating you--Do you want holiday stamps, or just regular--I continued to answer all the questions with phoney-ness- Yup! and Great! All short of Jazz Hands....deep inside, I'm like shitting because I have now purchased 3 gifts.
Cards? nope. Gift wrap? nope. Tree? nope. Holiday stamps? nope.
Over the weekend we had our annual holiday boat parade. Except this year, I didn't want to really have a gathering. We were originally expected to admit into COH. Today. And so....I thought if anything, we'd all curl up together on our patio and just be.....us.
But then you get texts' and reminders from your homegirls who remind you that "pot luck" is the new rave-
And don't worry Leese, just make it small, just us, and some wine. And hugs. And things just work out.
But still......no camera out.
The parade was...eh. o...........k. Nothing to brag about. But.....you know the drill, no plans are the best plans.
And so you will recognize my peanut butter and jelly in life. The girls that hold me up. The families that come together. For me. For Bill. And most especially for my birdies.
Kris was happy to have a few friends over. And remembered to "fist pump" people, with no hugs.
He.Can't. Get. SICK.
Kris however DID have his camera out, along with his buddy. Those snappin' dudes have plenty in their cameras. Maybe someday my boy will edit some of his mama, decreasing my nose size, adding to and from where needed. jk. LOL.
And so, I offer you un-edited....cell phone, FB stolen.......... shots. Of our night.
3 pictures- Over achiever right....?
Meanwhile on the college front---As I was cooking and pulling out all of my decorations...Kali sending me texts' of her life. In the library. Studying. 3 Finals. Today.
And as we partied through the night, I kept reminding myself that even though we were missing our littlest birdie she was doing what needs to be done. Moving mountains. One pebble at a time.
I would remind her that a storm was brewing. Kali loves rain, and she LOVES stormy weather.
What better way to study....inside, with this view.
Doing it.
Owning it.
Winning it.
She comes home tomorrow. She'll be home through the holidays, and for the first part of brothers adventure.
Proud of you Kali!
We missed you little one, but couldn't be more proud. YOU are making things happen.
There's always more parades...
Happy Monday-
Remember to cherish what can't be replaced---
Moments-
This Warrior Mama Lisa
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