Mom, I am so nervous......

Our appointment was set.   Her normal busy week of studies, practices, and chores...rolled into this day.  Worried that she'd studied enough.   As we were driving to her appointment today...on the final stretch of road before entry...she exclaimed "Mom...I am so nervous".    Little did she know....I was too.  My response?  Kee, you will do great.  I know it...you always do.  Don't worry."

And so you walk in...the typical DMV atmosphere.  Strange weird place.  To me.  Kind of like a mixture of odd people.  Odd people there for different things.  Sound shallow and rude?  Sorry.  Not to mention, the thick protectant plastic that makes you feel like you should talk at an angle so they can hear you.  And shall I mention the guy that helped us did not make eye contact.  creepy.  dryer than breadcrumbs.  but we stood there. handing him everything he needed quickly like he was ruling our world for those moments that we stood there talking sideways.   From one window to the next.  #002. Blue carpet line.  Red carpet line.  Repeat what letters you see.  Cover your other eye.  Move down to that window. Take your picture. Smile. Look at the blue dot.  "Look very pretty" said the sweet lady.    She did.  To me.  It is all surreal.  She was quickly shuffled into the next room. A room with no windows, and I couldn't see in! (TESTING ROOM ONLY NO VISITORS ALLOWED)  And to be perfectly honest with you, I would not want to stand, sit, wait...anywhere remotely close to her while she tested.  I am strange like that.  I prefer my nervous energy be sat out in that cold room with blue plastic germ free chairs.   But I did want to see her. 

And so this toothless Kindergartner officially has a drivers permit in her hand 11 years later.  The look on her face as she exited that room.  The feeling of happiness that covered her entire body.  I had to look out and about.  My eyes filled with tears. Sorry Kali...they did.  I know that God is good.  I know He will take care of Kali.  I know there are things that parents of little ones don't expect will happen this soon and fast.  And when I say fast, I mean it.  I can't believe she is celebrating 16.  I can't believe how fast life is flying.   For some reason I am having a harder time letting go of this little one.  Maybe because I've driven thousands of miles with her next to me.  Keeping her safe.  Showing things in life along the way.  Not taking any of it for granted.  Trust me when I say....It happens faster than you can imagine.  

And as I end this blog, I say out loud to all of you.....to Kali....and to the world.....

Kali, I am so nervous.....