The Days

The minutes are blending into hours, the hours into days. The messages into delete mode, the returned calls fading away. I'm becoming more and more of a sassy pants girl to be a rounds and yet I get up and fight. Each day that walk into his room, and that smile he offers with a dimple so deep it speaks "Hi Momma" as he says.

Friday was a cheerful one. One that led walks in and out of his bathrooms he sat staring out his window asking all the WHY'S. Why me Mom. He was up in spirit. We had more laughs. He ate like a champ. More than he's eaten in months. His requests for whatever had me jam to my car and back again to watch him woof it down. He walked the halls with the love of his life. He still beams when she walks into the room. She always starts her greeting with a kiss on his belly. They both smile.

Yesterday we knew would be Chemo. The last Chemo round was one that I hope we can all erase from our memory sometime soon. He said it was the gnarliest thing he EVER experienced. Yesterday's treatment had my tummy in rumbles. Many walks down and around the hall as they were setting up that drip line full of poison right into his heart. He takes it all like a champ. He sincerely does.  As we sat there through it all a friend of his from the fishing world stopped by. The Wagleys. They've experienced some incredible heart break this year in losing a full term baby that she had to birth. We talked about how bodies go through trauma and yet the world just moves on. So surreal that they stopped by. Without warning or invite, but I'm beginning to feel so many little signs are happening for a reason. I'm putting it all together in my head as to why. I'm also beginning to believe that God is part of this whole plan. I can't source out more than that, but there has been some wild signs.

Once the chemo was finished, they pulled the bag aside. Washed it all off. Tested his blood sugars and life just went along. Crazy you guys. He will inevitably begin to feel worse. The shit will hit the fan before the rain offers any sort of a rainbow.

I'm currently blogging a quick note to you all while Bill coordinates movers loading Kali's things to move her back to San Marcos. That's a whole nother' punch to my throat.

One day at a time kids. One day at a time.

Pray for my babies. Pray for healing. Pray for strength and pray for this mama soul.

Tomorrow brings hope.

Also, for my loving friends out there. Please don't text me after 9pm. My restless soul is trying to break down my day. I fall asleep and have been woken twice in the last two days from texts of help and love at 10:45....and 11:00pm. My phone currently resides 6 inches from my head. I'm on high alert and the last thing I need is that jolt.

Big hopes and praying for a rested body to help fight this fight.

May you all go in PEACE..

This Warrior Mama Lisa