Are you feeling the first tidbits of Spring?
I sure am.
I've longed to get through the dark days of winter. Although winter isn't over yet, I sure do yearn for spring. It's always been my favorite season. Summer offers flip flops and long good nights, but there's something about the newness and fresh beginnings. Whether it's new bird nests, or buds of flowers on the trees. Green grass and just better days overall.
Driving home from work in the dark is just so depressing...
Getting ready with the gloom lurking through the windows every morning even more so...
Just all of it...
I felt a shift of change last night.
Watching the beautiful sunset before arriving home. The warmth in my car.
The beautiful birds chirping this morning.
Last night I received a text from my oldest birdie.
Of this.
What looks to us as "veggies on a rack" is something way more than that.
Kris hasn't had the most common energy, much less, the physical ability (wrists don't bend like ours do) to do much.
I can just imagine the feeling Jen had when she walked up their stairs to see this.
I'm picking up his second batch of new meds tmrw morning. One that costs $400.00 a pill.
A pill.
One pill.
Our cost is $200.00 for two weeks.
Yes he pays private insurance with Kaiser.
The reason he is alive today.
He's been with them since 1989.
Although his monthly dues are quite high, I can't imagine the folks that pay close to 12k a month.
Silver linings....
I feel like it's working.
This little reminder to me that even when the dark clouds, and dark cold scary mornings rolled over us, that springtime, and hopefully better days lie ahead.
We so quickly sprint past the opportunity to just be grateful for the little things. Moments like these of nurturing a vegetable in little pots by your window because you can. Or the mom that receives the text of this, as just the most beautiful thing she's seen this month.
It's truly the little things. Holding on to HOPE.
To my prayer warriors out there. Whether you pray, or you just toss good juju's out into the atmosphere. We need HOPE.
Bill's brother is in the fighting ring with the jerk Cancer. An aggressive one.
We know all too well what will form ahead.
I did my research last night. Wondering how I can help.
I cried for them on my way home.
I sat on my bed researching this type of cancer.
How can I help.
HOW?????
And really.....
Those first days of finding out something so terrible.
You let the dust settle.
And then you begin to fight.
For them.
With them.
Along side them
And far away.
For me....? For me.....I pray.
And I research. And read. Putting my nose right in the face of fuckingcancer, and then backing away when fear stretches over my body.
Please keep Rick in your prayers, juju, karma filters, thoughts, hugs, love and wishes.
He's gonna need it.
So will the rest of the family.
I hope you remind yourself today, tomorrow and the rest of your days....that we are all lucky to just have another day. Alive. Not fighting. Not in a hospital bed. Not staring at the face of a doctor as he or she explains news to you that you would never want to hear.
Be grateful.
For sunshine. For fresh vegetable plants. For today.
Some don't get this chance.
Keep a firm grip on HOPE friends.
Love,
This Mama Warrior Lisa
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