Two Years Ago, You Snuck Away....

You didn't sneak away peacefully.  As a matter of fact, from what I hear from your son, it was quite traumatic.  Something I wish neither of my kids would ever have to witness. And just typing this, my eyes are filled with tears to know they had no choice.  You fought hard those last days in the hospital as each of your babies sat there holding your hand.  Rubbing your cheeks, talking to you.  Wishing and hoping you'd give a sign. A sign that you'd be okay and make it through. 

Again. 

That you'd sit up and ask for some ice cream.  Or smile because you knew your grandbabies that you loved so much were there.  

You left a legacy of what motherhood means to her children.  You were there for them, most especially during their adult years, and most definitely in your grandmother role years.  You loved those babies with all your heart.  Treating each of them with the most fairness and warmest form of love.  As a matter of fact, Shirley....I always admired and wished I had that kind of nurturing.  

You stood your ground when you had to.  

So many times I wondered if you really cared for me.  I always felt like a mother loves her son in a different way, and trying to appease you to like or love me would never fully come to complete fruition, but I hoped you knew how madly in love I am with him.  

You never loved to cook, which was the running joke of the family, but man you'd make a mean pot of Corn Beef Brisket, and the veggies always came out just perfect. Rolling your eyes at me when I praised you. 

That dressing you'd put together for all of us at gatherings, riddled with garlic,  will never be replaced.  

It just can't.

Ever. 

So many times I've felt you in your home.  Kind of feeling like you'd step into the kitchen top step and just smile at us.  

You had a cute style in clothing.  Eclectic and fun.  You'd mix-match the perfect combo.  Most always offering a compliment to me if I was dressed up.  

I know your babies miss you.  Just today as I walked into your sons office, at this desk. He caught the virus I had, with his red face....I wondered if he remembered what today is. 

If you ask him, he'll tell you the exact time you left. 

As a matter of fact, we hear songs, or sometimes come across Cazadores Tequila, and I can see his eyes well up with tears. 

You offered them a childhood that made hard working humans.  

You offered them laughter and good times. Gaylord misses you.  As a matter of fact, the last time I watched him drive off from the restaurant on Fathers Day with his care taker in your car....his dark brown eyes looked sad to me.  

Maybe it's just me.  The girl that is lucky enough to love your son. 

We miss you Shirley. 

I know your birdies do. 

I hope you are safe, peaceful and full of ice-cream...... 

To Ricky, Vicki, Billy, Joni and Sandra......

You are so lucky to have such a special mama. 

Hope your week is treating you all well.

Guess what?  Bill has my bug.  Or worm.  

Love, 

This Mama Lisa