Monday, October 17, 2011

We will NEVER understand why.....

We will stand tall...we will get through this. I wake every morning, hoping this was all a nightmare.

Kali's team mate will forever be changed. Thanks to a coward monster. Rest in PEACE Michelle. You will certainly be missed. You will certainly be remembered in our community...soccer, school and beyond. We will protect and surround your little sweets with much love for many many years....that is for sure.



As I sat in the dentist chair on this Wednesday....scared...so so scared of my "root canal"- I woke up that morning with the ughs..poor me...As I sat there frightened...my phone is being called, over and over. I knew my little family was aware where I sat....I waited until the doctor finished. Checked and several friends were texting me, asking me if I knew anything about the salon that was just shot into. I didn't...I actually thought it was a different location...I drove home, turned on the tv, following more, receiving text after texts' from friends...all finding out who "might" have been in there....I had a very scared feeling, we would soon know...and we most certainly would know someone. First finding of one person we knew...to be called by Bill shortly after that "Christy" was one of them.


The sound of that. Just to know what laid ahead in these days. Indescribable.


Several vigil's surrounded Seal and Lakewood, from the ocean to the streets. Support from around the world. The unity for these 8 people that were loved by many.


Kali's Beach girls gathered at the first vigil. Trying to absorb the pain. Trying to share words with Lisa, how bad they felt. Dressed in their Beach shirts, showing their love. I have not seen Kali cry as hard before. She said to me "Mom, it's so sad that Michelle will never see Lisa get married, or go to prom". It's truly sickening.

The Salon is covered in sad love notes. Heart wrenching. I have a hard time approaching anything of this sort. It was very hard for me to go to the Vigil. I only went for Kali...For some reason, I stay back. It's just a strange part of me. Bill so kindly took many pictures for me. At the high school they dedicated one whole room to honor the families...with more love notes. And good-byes....

In the midst of all of this tragedy, we have our biggest fundraiser of the year. Our board works hard on it for months....it so happened to be this weekend. I also signed Kali and I up to work the morning shift. While Kali was tutored, Bill and I headed to Trader Joe's and Smart and Final to load our car with goods for Paul and Christy's. And soon realized that we needed to get over to Paul and Christy's and help. Any way we can. Bill headed over, and stayed with Paul....Took his car to get washed...stayed there for a while...I made arrangements with Olive Garden (Who rocked!) for dinner. I also arranged with Mi Casa, a small mexican restaurant by me to supply as well. Olive Garden supplied free salads. The pasta's, soups and salads were superb! Mi Casa offered amazing chicken enchilada's with rice and beans. Both of these places served enough for 40.


Standing in Paul and Christy's house. Looking around at her family life. Her pictures...her sandals sitting by the front door. Her half empty bottle of wine... Just knowing the whole world came to a screeching halt. As her sister picked out what she'll wear at her viewing. I just couldn't put a solid grip around. Standing in her house...the house that us mommies build. We will surround The Wilson's with anything we can to help. Each fire truck that arrives with food, support...each neighbor, all our friends that have arrived. Christy you will be missed more than words can describe. But you did leave an amazing foot print on many peoples soul.

The love in pictures kept my tears flowing. The faces of all those that arrived to give support and love. Just looking into the eyes of Paul and his babies....trying to wish all the strength in them during these days- No one is prepared for this. Paul said they were supposed to have lunch that afternoon. He has not went a day without talking with his wife....until now.

Fun girl. Pauly, we will do everything we can for you.

During the crazy hectic week, I promised my team and board that I would beautify many many baskets. I worked on them each night.

Totaling about 20. Finished proudly. Supporting Girls Soccer!

We arrived Saturday night to eat and drink.....Our original plan last week was to meet at our Fav place Tantalum's for a sunset cocktail...with our buddies Randy and Carmen....Well...that got all switched around...BUT we still managed to spend the night with them. It's always warm to be with good friends...those that stand tall with you during the storm.
And that we (I) did....My makeup was a mess...my eyes were puffy. But I just sipped all night long. ugh. lol

And I didn't stop. I was unwinding...not realizing this wine was gonna bite me hard yesterday.


Real hard. Yes. That is champagne too. ugh.

Sunday's game in Redondo. Watching my sweet pea play...one of my favorite places in the world to be.



Beautiful day. To take home a win too.

Kris brought this baby home. Yes we will foster him for a few days....it did make our house smile. But oh' my. Not something else for me to take care of. ugh. During these last few crazy difficult days, several things have been reminded to all of us. We aren't promised tomorrow. It's very important to squash the little things that upset you. Love those family and friends that might drag you down or disappoint. Remember to tell them how much you love them. Tell your friends you love them often. Hug and kiss your sweets often too. You just never know.

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