Twenty Nine

Kris is Twenty Nine today.  A day I feel honored to type. 

29.

I was listening to my Pandora station this morning and a song came on by John Denver that made me cry.  I know, laugh with me.  CRYBABY.

The words rang true about this life.

Cherish every minute.

I am so so grateful to be able to say "Happy 29th" to Kris. 

TWENTY NINE.

A few years ago we celebrated a birthday dinner he could hardly get through.

Little did we know what was taking over his body. 

I am also honored to see pictures of him now with friends.

With his dogs.  Especially Skipper who is madly in love with Kris.

The bond of finding eachother at the perfect time.

Twenty nine.

He twisted most over moving back home. Because of pride.

He works every day even though some days he just wants to sit on the couch and be still.

His body is feeling the wrath of radiation.

Of the massive amounts of chemo and chemicals it absorbs daily.

Twenty nine.

Getting discouraged some days when he knows his forgetfulness is a real deal.

Never tossin in the towel, just making check lists, and pulls back in the driveway more times than not.  

Pills. 

Doors locked?

Water off?

Lights?

Chemo.

Twenty nine.

Given a new chance. 

A delicate one that holds no boundaries or proof.

No guarantees for any of us, and so we love hard on the days we feel the weakest.

Twenty nine.

Listening to his mom rattle off labs, or advice of med changes.

Taking wipes from her hand to wipe a cell phone down one minute, but then picking his nose because his habit to clear his nostrils is just 100% a habit.

His strong Republican belief makes him save and 

live within his means. 

Working even on the days he doesn't feel like working.

He believes in love.

His closest of friends lingered in the distance as he fought for his life, and yet they pick right back up when together.  Like last weekend. 

Corey, thank you for hugging your brother tight with gratitude last weekend. 

When you can't drink at a bachelor party, and the gangs goin' gang-buster....you do it for love.

For best friends. 

He has a mom that has fought from the moment she heard his first breath, through all the days he continued to fight for breath.  She's been his rock, and she's been his biggest fan.  

She's a momcologist and she's a warrior. 

Twenty nine. 

Picture taken June 2015 (little did we know...)

 Never one to play sports.  Loves to talk. Loves friends. And loves life.  Always wakes with a smile. 

Needs food pretty quick after waking...or watch out.  LOL

Kris and Trevor 1994

His NEW 1st Birthday!  Surprise!  He was shocked!

He's twenty nine. With a new birthday of  January 13-

Born at 5:49 am on August 17, 1989-  To be reborn at 5:00pm 27 years later. 

Kris, I hope you feel protected and surrounded by love for the rest of your days.  I hope you fulfill the dreams that fill your heart.  

Twenty nine. 

Pretty amazing if you ask me. 

I hope the next 29 are filled with love. Happiness. HEALTH...and most of all, good kisses...and warm long hugs....

Kris and Rachel Summer 2018

Happy Birthday son.  You deserve so much.  

You really do. 

I will always wave the biggest flag for you-

I took a day off today. For me, for rest, for reflection, and to celebrate the birth of my favorite son.

Twenty nine years of loving you, 

Simple Man

Your Mama

Summer Fun

Sayin goodbye! Headed to college!

-2015-

Standing heart to heart, saying "see ya later" as Madison embarked on her trek up to Santa Rosa for college. 

Now look at these girls...Graduated.  Making new chapters happen.  Life decisions coming quicker than I'm sure they both ever expected. 

Best friends.

Sisterhood.

Love. 

Summer time fun.

I hope this Thursday is good to you!

Mama Lisa

Midweek Thoughts

I have been very sleepy this week.  

A good fun long weekend hanging with friends, on bikes and on a dock....tilted my soul in a tired but very good feeling this week. 

Getting ready in the morning looking and feeling like this..

Our long bike ride (Total of 1 mile) HAHAHA! 

One stop into Mother's for peanuts (and wine) --- duh.

Landing here like a flock of birds. 

This summer will be marked down as the summer of dock-sittin' ---sip sippin.....and singin' our hearts out!

Love,

Lisa

ps-  And girls, don't give me shit about the way you look in the picture above, because if you had this one sent to you...

Ok?

ok.

Pray for my littlest, as she embarks on some very big interviews this week, and last.

You have this world in the palm of your hand Kali.
It's all you baby.
Dream it.
Make it happen.
Don't look back.

Similar Love

Motherhood.

Not sure if you heard or read on the news of the mama Orca carrying, and pushing her dead baby along.  It's been over 10 days.  Not only is she moving it along, but her pod is helping. Similar to our nurturing souls.  As we do for one another. Between girlfriends and sisterhood.  It's that common bond of holding the other up. Physically and emotionally....

Whales and most ocean life have always intrigued me.  This act of mourning doesn't surprise me, just makes me more aware of their feelings.

Motherhood. 

Orca Mothering

This makes me appreciate their breaching much more when I see them in the ocean.

Wishing you a beautiful weekend.  

Pray for the firefighters.  Pray for the families who've lost everything.

A friends neighborhood.

Surreal.

Take the time this weekend to look around and appreciate the "now".

Grateful for what you have.

Even if its health.

Get up. Shower. Smile.

Love,

Lisa Lynn

No Plans Are The Best Plans

This last weekend, Saturday to be specific, was one of those days that started off perfect, and ended even more so.

Friday night was a wild one...Bill made us a big bowl of popcorn and we popped on Netflix and chilled. (that's what he said)- jk.

Lazy fest. And I was sound asleep by 9pm. Crazy rebel, I know.  A good nights rest to me is bomb.com

My adrenaline had pumped so hard on Thursday, topped with good wine with Rox and Maria on Thursday, I was gonzo the minute my head hit the pillow on Friday evening.  #rockstar #eatallthepopcornbill

Saturday morning Bill and I were up as the sun rose (actually he before me, because I was so so cozy) so we decided to paddleboard around a bit before hitting the LB Boat Races.  A place we both enjoy to our core.

It was our amazing idea to get there when the gates open because this silly mama wanted to save a spot for our big bird from the sun and under an umbrella before the crowds.  #mamahero  #heshowedup5hourslater  #whatever

We were there for a good time....

And that it was.....

We came home with a trail of friends and family following us.  

Those conversations that go something like..."well, whatcha guys all doin', lets just join back on our dock and hang there"-

Before you know it, we had a dock full. 

No plans that were set days before.

Just hours before.

And if you ask me, it's always the best plans.

Was glad to spend some time with you guys!  

A house full of smiles, laughter, good music, guitar playin' while we sang along with smiles you'd catch between others.  The goodness on a warm summer evening...

The next morning, and empty house.  Just Bill and I.  Wiping up a sticky counter, crumbs from the snacks we all just pulled together.  A dock that held over 10 people on it laced with red wine spillage.

The distant memory of John and John strummin' their guitars as we all sang along...

Just like that...it's a memory...

We all go back to life.  To work. To responsibilities and the things we're called to do. 

Mentoring. Mothering. Driving. Working. Sorting.  Preparing.

Last Saturday was a sweet slice of goodness for my soul. 

I'm glad we can share a slice of whatever goodness we can.

Even if it's just a big smile across a white tilted plastic table on the dock, with soggy wet feet and sticky frizzy hair. 

Summer.

Friends.

Family.

Love.

For me, that is love.

I hope you're all doing okay...

Or at least, I hope you're at peace with your decisions.

This Mama Lisa

Breathe In Breathe Out

*Terms and conditions alert- started this post on Wed, finished on Friday.


I was born and raised to "figure things out"- Coming from my mothers womb this way.  Born a natural worrier.  It's just who I am.  From childhood to young adulthood, to as far back as I can remember.  Fast forward to this mid part of my life, where we sprinkle parts of the recipe of wonky hormones that are all jacked up and so some days I feel doomed. While others I feel like I can take on the world. With one hand.  

The worrier. 

So the story goes in the life of Lisa, that each and every single night as she lays down, she wiggles her feet together to soothe away the days stresses.  Most of the time my right arm tossed over my head as a form of relaxation too (also helps me breathe).  My mind races all day.  My hope at bedtime is to let go of most of it.  Middle of the night is a tricky one.  Sometimes too many fermented squished grapes (wine) creates thee most terrible anxiety.  These days I have to toss back just as much H2o as wine.  Just to balance the schmalance.

Life. 

Lisa started her week off with a daughter scrambling to move her stuff back home after just a month ago we moved her into a new house.  And so Mama Lisa took the high tough road of parenting and had to just offer a truck to let her daughter use to move it. Because Mama Lisa works and Daddy Bill works.  Stepping back, with the pride-pages turning super fast with hopes that those she shares this "moving back home" story with won't assume she doesn't have parents that want to help. Truth is she has parents that always always want to help.  The funny part about second child recipe is the parents have learned that being too helpful will only stunt her ability.  ALSO she has parents that are working super hard and cherish the 2 days they get to just be them.  Deep in my heart, I want to do it all.
Deep in my soul, I can't.
But guess what?  Her brother will. And is.
This should be interesting.
All hail to the patience of traffic, tie-downs, blankets, and two humans that really don't share much in common, other than a mama-
 

 The weekend we celebrated all of our birdies safely tucked away Freshman Year Of College

First week away.   2014

Parenting.

I received a text from my auntie Nettie from Folsom (Wednesday).  Hearing the news of a fire moving 10 miles near my parents home.  Neither parent replying to her texts.  Mine either.

Finally my dad answered.  The jitters and anxiety fills his voice.  My mom working down in Sacramento.  He holding down the fort.  Nothing packed.  And no plans to. 

His confidence beaming through the phone, most likely to appease me.
Where as in fact I can hear the tremble in his spirit.
Fires rolling through California like freight trains, with no end in sight.
Parents whom love where they live, but fear the change might eventually have to come.
Still find it ironic how my Southern California born and raised aunt whom is a RN moved with her hubby there a few years ago.  A short stretch of highway from my parents, allowing us the peace knowing they are keeping a solid watch on our parents.  Gratitude 1000%

Family.

Parenting.

Leg and knee pain.

I have watched Kris limp around on his knee for the last month. Something that we can just "assume" is caused by the treatment of radiation and chemo.  A knee that fills with fluid, and bothers him daily.
Along with stomach issues, every.single.day.
I made him an appointment.  Set for yesterday.
A day I would push for referrals, labs and answers.
A day that Lisa becomes a freak while waiting for labs.
Let's just call it, onion-underarms stench day.

The thing about him is he gets up every day, sour stomach, aching body, and still willing.
He wakes with a smile and always willing to chit chat with me even though deep inside he might feel miserable.

The shitty part for the Lisa is that most of these symptoms are the same symptoms that he complained of exactly 3 years ago.  So the lisa-onion-stench-underarm mom jumps to conclusions and paints a really fucked up story in her head and so the process gets twisted beyond where it should.

MOTHERHOOD

Lab reader.

Appointment maker.

Former hand holder to a daughter.

Partner to a lover that gets me.

Chef by weekend trade, because it's what soothes my soul and feeds our working bods all week.

Life. 

Pray.

For me.

And guess what....

LABS LOOK GOOD. 

Couple elevated ones I've shared with him.

The others ring sweet glory praise the lord dot org. 

Love hard, and eat well.

Friday.

Another two days to just be....

Silly!

Long Beach Boat Races Tomorrow!

This Mama Lisa

A Few Roll Their Eyes.

There's a FULL MOON  a'risen kids! 

Dawned on me this morning while on the freeway and a guy was close enough to pull my hair ridin' my bumper and so I checked to make sure my brakes were workin' okay...causing a tall finger in the middle of his hand to fling out the window,  I then soon realized..."hey the full moon must be close"-

July 27th, 2018.  The beautiful part, it's FRIDAY!

Flip me off all you want Broooo, we're all just trying to get this shift shit done and back home anyway!

If you're in the beach area, the grunion will be runnin strong tonight at 9:00pm ish--

The thing about full moons, is some folks believe they cause a raucous and some don't.

Bill is one of those that rolls his eyes at me.  His mama was a sweet believer in superstition and so I often wonder if he's just putting up a front with me on it.  I'm quite sure he's witnessed some assholes the last couple of days.  The question is, does he think of the moon, or just disregard it as just an asshole.  

Wine helps in this situation kids.  So sip wine.  Just don't tailgate people and then flip them off when they wanna make sure their brakes work.  Because, well,  #TAILGATERS SUCK.

Any fun plans for the weekend?  

Tonight, we'll be here.  Bonfires night!  

Guess what I have planned in the morning?  LAUNDRY.   jealous, aren't  you?

Because I've been putting off running the dryer, the love is overfloweth in the towel department. 

And guess what else I will do?  I will go to my besties Garage Band Party.  A place we gather every summer dancing to classic rock jams from Shelley's garage.  It's where neighbors and friends gather. Getting caught up. 

A little highlight of my summer I look forward to.  Simple. Full of goodness.  Good food, good drinks and lots of chattin' with those we love!

We'll probably be out cruising in out hot boat too...

It's my favorite place lately.

Away from so many things...

Have a great weekend kids...

Go pass out kindness.  And if you can't pass out kindness, well shoot for a big smile at a stranger.

Trust me, it works. 

And keep your finger to yourself. 

Love,

This Mama Lisa

Who Sits At A Concert

Another wild (last) week in the books for The Lisa and The Bill.

Tried to blog a couple times, and yet the words all just seemed so blah.  So depressing. 

Last week was one that felt like days justrantogether.  Friday hit, and we both reminded the other of a concert we looked so forward to months ago. 

My love for Bad Company is pretty deep. I seriously LOVE all of their music.  I can be anywhere and hear the slightest tune, and instantly sing along in my head. 

LOVE!

Friday evening proved no different.  

We rolled into the venue at Irvine Five Points (cute, interesting venue) fake grass, corn hole, expensive drinks (tall cans that make you feel like a real dude) and cocktails with a plastic fancy "souvenir" cup for a mere $30.00-

Thank GOODNESS for the Good Ol' Yard House in Irvine.  A place we've always enjoyed. 

People watching, good food, and most important, good music.

I got my wine on there, so all was good about the minute we arrived here.

Sun still shining...not too hot, not too cold. 

As we stroll in after hearing the first headliner...I sit down, and instantly see Paul Rogers make his way out to begin..."walking down this rocky road......."

I look around and NOT.A.SINGLE.PERSON.IS.STANDING.

What, in the actual hell?!

But no worries kids....

This girl stood.  This girl dances at concerts.  Crazy girl.  Or am I?

And I stood dancing and singing until the last song was sung.  

Then Jeff Beck came on, and the crowd continued to sit, and I got ants in my pants, or wheels from my wine, and we were outta there.  HAHAHA!

You guys....WHO SITS AT A CONCERT?!

And Jeff Beck is just guitarrrr, guitarrrr and more guitttarrrrrrrrrrrrr

The crazy part, is I feel disrespectful to stand while those around me sat. 

Do I go to the back?  

Do I sit down, and wiggle my booty in my seat? 

I mean, COME ON.....

Sean Ireland, are you reading this? 

In other news....

Life's been just one big bowl of tart cherries.  No lake time. 

My face- LOLLL!!!!

 No getaways, just hustlin day in and day out.  Cherishing dinners with girlfriends.  Meeting new friends and having dinner with them-Hi Kris and Rick!-

We find silver linings in pouring a good wine at the right time.  Sunsets. Laughter with friends. Listening to one another in a quiet room.  Dreams. 

(Picture taken 3 million years ago when we had time to play at the lake)

I have dinner with my son every Monday night.  Often wonder if the plan for him to come back home was meant to be.  To see him each week. That one night to catch up.  Just the two of us. 

He has a new girlfriend now, whom we adore...

Her name is Rachel

I get caught up on things in his life in a more private, quiet setting.  The kitchen table kind of convo. 

Kali's sourcing out as a 22 year old would.  Anxious as we figured would happen.  Graduating college and figuring out the life plan.  Work. Living location.  Where to work if she does come back here.  Commutes and reality. Asking my opinion, and yet at times, arguing my opinion.  

Closing a phone call last week because we both don't agree with her decisions.  And yet, deep in my mama feathers, I know that standing back and letting her figure things out is the best recipe.  

No one handed me all the ideas, and in reality, it's up to you, and you alone to really soar, fall, soar again and fall again.

Life.

Sometimes mama knows what she's talking about...and sometimes she doesn't.  It's up to the goodness of nature and human nature to figure it allll out.
I have 100% complete faith she will.
All in her plans. 

Right?

This morning I received a text from my mom that Peakie (their peacock) was killed by a mountain lion.

They've taken care of (never really owned, because he found them, and would come and go a few times, venturing across streets(2 lane hwy) in search of a mate, but always, always making his way back to them)

He lived behind my dads truck, using the bumper as a spot to groom and stare back at himself as though it WAS his mate.  He brought many years of happiness to my parents. Well over 10 years.  Feathers so beautiful my mom would send them to our little cousins to sell. 

I'm still in shock of this news.

Mostly just heartbroken for my parents.  They choose to live up there far, far away.  And the choice of happiness they find, is caring for animals. From skunks, to deer.  Peacock, to kitties. 

I am so so sad....

How's your summer going?  

Heatwave meltin' ya down?

Soul searching going good?

Whatever you're doing, I hope it's good. 

And worth it. 

If not now, maybe later. 

JUST PULL UP YOUR POSITIVE PANTS AND KEEP ON DANCING! 

Even if everyone else just sits.  At a concert. 

Don't be that person.

PLEASE.

"Caring about what people think of you is useless, most people don't even know what they think of themselves"

Cheers,

Lisa 

ps. If you pray, Jenny my transplant buddy is in the fight.  Right smack in the middle of the ring. Radiation done, BIG dose of chemo done, and now the counts will drop, and things get wild, for transplant day FRIDAY.

May God protect her.  Her babies, and all of their souls.

Just Keep Swimming

***Fair warning- I don't have a tidy bow for this post.  

Because I'm being a drama queen, I started this post on Tuesday.  We're at the end of Thursday and I'm just posting. #crybaby

I try to expose our real life here.  And most of the time it looks pretty good. And MOST of the time it feels pretty good.  Because in real true reality, after all we've been through, most of the petty stuff is just mediocre bullshit I let roll off.  So our life is amazing, considering. 

Lately though, I am at the boiling point like a teapot.  Bill, and both kids will tell ya when mama is not happy, the world around her is not happy.

Lisa, The Teapot. 

I've always preached to others about avoiding the envious game while watching others enjoy the good things in this life. The sights and sounds of summer. I will always root for those around me out and about enjoying all the beautiful things this life offers. Lately I am completely feeling the envy while watching others take vacations. Not even elaborate vacations, (because we really never do-far away travels aren't our gig) but just to----

"Get away"-  

Getting away to me is sitting in this pool above.  No schedules.  With no where to be. No one to answer to.  No calls to make.  No papers to shuffle. No customer to ease.  No payments to be made.  No responsibilities to care for. No cooking. No cleaning.  Just to be still.
To put our juggling balls down.  {Thats.what.she.said}

I don't even sleep in.

I just need a change of space.
We both do. 

And lately, I am missing a break. 

I am tired. 

I cried at work.*insert crybaby emoji-  Our air conditioning is broke at the shop.  *insert bigger crybaby face. 

Anyone in the Southern California area this last week will tell you, the humidity and heat have been  no joke.  Ya I am thankful for the fans.  Ya I am thankful to be alive.  Ya, yaddity yaaaa yaaaa. 

Don't get me wrong, I love the life I live.  After all, I can remember a couple years back wondering just how much more I could see or take.

But lately?

Suck.

I try to regroup my thoughts.

My self talk is horrendous.
Maybe borderline freakish.

Perspective.  That word I lose a firm grip of often.

And so.

I keep swimming.

And yet...

My first text yesterday (Tuesday) morning was with a friend (I'll call her friend, even though I haven't personally hugged her yet, just keeping in close touch by text)-  She's admitting into City Of Hope  just like we did.  She's of Korean decent and just recently was told she has a donor (which is a huge miracle). She has the same type of leukemia that we fought, and if she doesn't have a transplant, she will not live.  Monday was her long orientation day at COH.  She has a slurry of questions each day.  All of which are so familiar. All of which I promised to help answer.  I can remember those days like they were yesterday.  Such the unknown.   Her biggest fear is radiation.  Part of me doesn't want to be honest with her, and so I only share the tidbits that I know will be helpful.  Also, each body receives things differently. She went on to ask if they had yoga and classes to take at good ol' City Of Hope.
Parts of me wanted to be brutally honest with her and lay that shit out, but the other part of me said, no Lisa, let her feel like yoga might be involved.  Let's let her experience roll out the way God intends for it to roll out.  Let's let things happen organically for them. For her.


Perspective.

She's a mother to two young girls.  8 and 12.  I can only imagine the thoughts flooding her on the daily.  I fought for my son, and yet she's fighting for her girls.  And husband.

She's scared.  She's curious.  She's ready. 

I stepped out of my car after fielding answers back to her.  Mostly filled with HOPE. And encouraging words that I know she needs so bad right now. 

All of my little worries getting tossed into my trunk as I came into my office to start my day.

And yet, here I am.

Knowing full well I will read back on this post someday and think..shit Lisa, you sound like those people on Facebook that complain alldayeveryday and bathe in the reassurance.

I am not.
LOL!
I know life's pendulum will swing.

Pity Partayy----

Ya with me?

Tired?

Hot?

Frustrated and tired of busting ass.  Tired of watching the lazy ones in society take advantage of our system?  Tired of the daily ins-n-out just trying to make ends meet?

Me too. 

Sink or swim, right?

Hope you can keep swimming. 

After all, we really have no choice.

Right?

Keep grinding kids.

Especially you Lisa Lynn.

Sorry I was in lala land for the last 2 weeks.

Just werkin', pushin biznass, and sipping wine with those I adore!

And my server, well...he's smokin' hot and serves a mean martini. 



Check out last nights sunset...

Perspective.

This Mama Lisa

Does my nose look big?  HAHAHAHA!