In These Words

The Woman

{I read this on the internet early Monday morning}
Any by no means do I have theological background, so take this with a light heart...

When God created the woman he was working late on the 6th day......

An angel came by and asked, "why spend so much time on her?"

The Lord answered..."Have you seen all the specifications I have to meet to shape her?" 

She must function on all kinds of situations.

She must be able to embrace several kids at the same time.

Have a hug that can heal anything from a bruised knee to a broken heart. 

She must do all this with only two hands.

She cures herself when sick and can work 18 hours a day.

The angel was impressed "Just two hands...impossible!"

"And this is the standard model?"

The angel came closer and touched the woman.."You have made her so soft Lord".

"She is soft", said the Lord.

"But I have made her strong.  You can't imagine what she can endure and overcome"

"Can she think?" The angel asked....

The Lord answered. "Not only can she think, she can reason and negotiate".

The angel touched her cheeks....

"Lord, it seems this creation is leaking! You have put too many burdens on her"...

"She is not leaking...it is a tear" The Lord corrected the angel..."What's it for?" Asked the angel..

The Lord said.."Tears are her way of expressing her grief, her doubts, her love, her loneliness, her suffering and her pride."....This made a big impression on the angel.

"Lord, you are genius. You thought of everything." 

"A woman is indeed marvelous."

The Lord said, "Indeed she is."

She has strength that amazes a man.

She can handle trouble and carry heavy burdens. 

She holds happiness, love and opinions.

She smiles when she feels likes screaming.

She sings when she feels like crying, cries when happy and laughs when afraid.

She fights for what she believes in.

Her love is unconditional.

Her heart is broken when a next-of-kin or a friend dies but she finds strength to get on with life.

The angel asked "So she is a perfect being?"

The Lord replied, no....She has one drawback....

"She often forgets what she is worth."

I found this fitting after a weekend filled with marchers.  With believers.  With strong women that have their own beliefs.  Who work their asses off because they don't rely on a man to provide.  Who have a voice. Who should have rights to their own body. 

Be grateful for your strength girlfriends...mothers...daughters, sisters and grandmothers....
If it weren't for us..none of this would matter.

Be PROUD!

To all the strong women out there, CHEERS!

To the women that get up every day to work hard, CHEERS!

To the mama's standing bedside to a sick child, HUGS!

Applaud yourself mama's!

And.....

Keep on swimming......



Found out today Kali is graduating this year! Big fat BOOM to the younger by 4 years Lisa whom bawled her eyes out leaving her at campus and would drive out after work to take cough drops.  LOLLLLZZZZZ!!!
Watch out world, she's gonna finally get in the ring and really see where the true meaning of a dollar comes from- LOL!  
Maybelline you might have yourself a new customer, say wha?  
Also I know a girl who's name rhymes with schmali with brown hair who got her 12th parking ticket last week. She's rad like that. No time to download apps for parking rules at campus...
Lesson learnt one year at a time...Right schmali?

All the LOLZZZZ


Werk it girl, werk itttttt.....you have 30 days, you don't want that sucker to double. 

ROARRRRRRRRRRR........................

This Mama Lisa

Filling The Cup

Or in my case, my heart. 

To the brim.

We arrived Thursday morning.

The kids arrived Thursday night.

The core purpose was celebrating life.

Winter in Havasu looks a little like this. 

Buses By The Bridge 2018-

It's where the mix of hippies and eclectic folk gather to show their not-so-fancy, and yet-super-cute-Volkswagen buses off to the world. Although we all had many check-back-over-your-shoulder moments at interesting situations, it was all good. 

If there's one thing I will always preach is that the most simple humble people searching for simple non material things in life, tend to be the most kind and soft hearted humans. 

You won't find pretentious people in that crowd. As a matter of fact, the most extreme opposite. 

I had the honor of catching Dave Manning on top of his VW Bus-

A kind fellow. 

Loves good dive bars (I mean, who doesn't) and gets tears in his eyes to good real music as he cruises along the countryside...good soul. 

Traveling the country in his very old VW bus.

Teaching us a thing or two about getting back up after things break down.

(This video is an old campaign kickstarter, just giving you an idea of the laid back folk there)

We caught Dave atop his VW, playing his piano and singing a good tune-

Stopped. Me. In. My. Tracks. 

You guys, look at the dog------m.e.l.t. meeeee

LOVE!

Dave Manning

I asked Kali to snap this of Kris and I. 

His 2nd RE-Birthday.  A second chance in life. 

A moment with his mama. 

The mom that loves him beyond what he'll probably ever comprehend.

I am standing kinda weird.....I'm teetering on rocks. Slippery rocks.

Holding on to him.

Such is our life though, right?

As Jen stands above us smiling...Encouraging. Loving.

My lover and bestfriend.

My love for sunsets is endless.

My love for those who love us at our worst, and never turn their faces away---

Kris + Jen + Skipper + Buckie Boy....January 2018

Grant + Kali January 2018

Last weekend filled up my cup.

Pushing on through. 

-Grant, Uncle Wayne(Grady), Lisa, Tori Lynn, Bill, Kali, Jen and Kris-

2018

Knowing our lives jump back to business, school, dreams, healing and goals.

Sorting through new chapters. 

Unfamiliar territory.

New chances.

German love.

January. 

I'll leave you with one of my favorite Bad Company songs of all time.....

My rainbow is long over due...

Silver Blue And Gold----

I hope you all have a rad week.

Keep pushing. 

Keep trying.

Let's do this.

Smile at a stranger.  They need it more than ever these days.

This Mama Lisa

Moving Forward

On New Years Eve I told Bill that the first few weeks of January were in fact going to be quite challenging for me.  Only because I tend to get myself worked up on things I have no real facts on.  I tend to fall victim of anxiety at 3am, when the world is sleeping and it feels as though my prayers will never fully be answered.  Or I often find myself questioning whether prayer even works. 

Interesting fact about me, I never stress over money.  Over material. 

Ever. 

It's always over my birdies. 

Or those I love. 

Health.

Safety.

Choices.

Circumstances.

Never material.

Yesterday, (Bill's birthday) was also Kris' appointment in Hollywood.  A 9:00am appointment deep down in the heart of the LA concrete jungle on the stormiest day of this year.  I actually laughed when calling him early reminding him to do labs.   

Both contemplating our choice of direction.  What freeway would offer us a better route.  What lab would make most sense...

As I was driving to pick him up, I found myself completely disregarding all choices as any inconvenience to me, because just being by his side, even for the 2 hours it took us (taking streets all the way to Hollywood)..mattered the most to me. 

His mom.

The woman that will fight for his body and mind.  

Mostly on her hunt for answers.  He has not felt good for the latter part of 2017.

Losing too much weight during the holidays.  A body so weak and unable to move around. 

She was searching for answers. 

Yesterday Kris was 726 days post transplant.  

In the big picture, its a big fucking deal.  Almost two years.

Arriving almost 30 minutes late, we'd feel the rudeness from our sassy nurse even after calling them right at 9, letting them know the 5 fwy was closed.  I'd disregard her nature and demeanor as just ignorance.  Losing my sweet canning ways a long time ago.  I'm not there to butter her, or offer many more thanks.  After all, it is not her feeling the feelings, and pure torment we've walked through.  So my tone shifted a little.  My demeanor of kindness is more firmness. 

Give me vitals. Weigh him. Move along Karen, move along. Buh byeee...

My son can hardly walk. 

His joints so stiff it will make a 90 year old man look like an athlete. 

We discovered he has Scleroderma.  A hardening of the skin and most troublesome of the joints.  

It's the reason he can't bend his wrists, and bend down in a crouched position.  He has a patch of visual hardened skin on his back.  All of this due to transplant and GVHD.  

I'd request Physical Therapy and Occupational Therapy immediately.  

The hugs to our doctors and nurses have stopped.  Not because our kindness has ended.  But mostly because this flu floating around is no joke.  And the seriousness of what we want, and how we want it is most important.  

Leaving the building together in hopes to find more answers and build a new healing bridge. 

Labs today showed that at 2 years he's mostly headed in the right direction. 

I opened the labs today with sweaty underarms, per usual.  Texting him the results.  

Doing more research on the new med Jakafi he'll start next week.  The cost is 30K per month for those uninsured.  $800.00 a month for those like us with insurance.  Let that sink in a second kids.  

Pretty delicious, huh.  

She also increased his chemo pill. Something she believes will slow down the scleroderma. 

I made a phone call today that I've waited 2 years to do. 

My first idea last year was to make the trip to Germany as a family to meet our donor (if he's still willing)- 

Today, I'll make the family decision to have him come here (if he's willing)-

Kris does not belong on any planes.  Any sort of public place right now is just spewing germs and bugs. 

To hug the donor, or to even see him is my life long dream.

Two years this Saturday you guys.  

Two years of this new chance to keep pushing through.  Like a snow plow on the biggest snow filled street.  I will push with him.  For him.  For Jen. For all of us. 

Happy Almost Two Years To My Son.

I love this picture because it was the day we announced our donor.  Jeff is in it.  And my sister too.

We're stepping away this weekend. 

Together. 

My birdies all under one roof under the Arizona skies.  

Hugging and laughing and playing games.  And just being together. 

Because we've had HOPE.

Enjoy the rest of your week friends.  

Be kind.

Love hard.

And never ever give up.

Text Kris this weekend if you have his number....Two years is a big big deal.

xo

This Mama Warrior Lisa

Birthday Boy Bill

Happy Birthday to my best friend.  January ninth.  A day you shared with your mama.  Always waiting to see what her plans were, versus yours.  You both did, really. 

You're not one to cause a fuss about your day, but going to Supercross was and is your most favorite thing to do.  

This year we quietly celebrated with our six pack best o' friends...

A group we've grown to hold so dear to our souls.

We've all crossed some wild bridges together.

Tossing back shots, and clinking good wine together when the moments allow. 

Almost 20 years as a pack of six. 

I was explaining the traits I love most about you to Kali the other day.  Your handsome arms still make me smile.  Your eyes still melt me when ours meet across a room.  

This comb-over below is everything, really. 

What a cutie....

I discover new things I love about you every year, and also just a few I don't like too.

Like when you TRY to add water to our hand soap on the counter at work.  I'll never accept that nonsense. LOL

Or when you nag me about how I dispense the toothpaste, or how finding my hair "thingys" around is just way too much. lol. 

I love how you maintain everything you own.  Right down to the lists of oil changes in each car.

I love how you've taught the kids the importance of this task. 

I love how you love me during my hardest days.  When I am not easy to be around, you'll still find moments to hug me.  

I love how you understand my sense of smell, and how fumes of any sort *cough-cough* (cologne) can make me exit a building.  Or restaurant. 

You get me.

I love how you chuckle quietly when I try to watch a movie and fall asleep 15 minutes in. 

I love how on New Years Eve when I snorted in a snore out loud at 9pm, you just smiled at me. 

I love how year after year you stuff my stocking with red lipstick only to find I wear it once a month.

Maybe. 

I love how you always go with the flow, but when you let loose, watch out.  #drunkbill

I love how strong you kept up through the storms of trial and sickness. Never losing your cool on nurses, doctors or helpers.  #leavethatshitformama

I love how you make our margarita's before we take boat rides.  Always those little seashell cups, with salt along the rim.   

I love the way  you make our coffee, most especially on the weekends. 

(You guys, please look at my honey badger smile. YES.  HAHAHAHA)

I love how you supported my decision when I wanted to cut a bunch of hair off, and even complimented me when I came home. And yet this poodle bullshit when it's wet and drying is no bueno.  

I hope you and I can dance in dive bars for many more years to come.  I hope we set out on our dream one day and travel across the US in a rented motor-home,

finding every dive bar from here to NY.  

And that we're both healthy enough to do so. 

I love you so much Bill. 

Happy not-so-double-nickle-BIRTHDAY...!

I love the way you love me.

More so now, than ever. 

I hope it never changes.

Let's Rock-N-Roll!! Like this warm afternoon after a long days work...

All my love to you, 

Lisa Lynn or "Mama" as you call me. 

xo

Closing Out Two Thousand Seventeen

If you're wondering the depth of my New Years Eve transition, see below.

My morning was slow.  Cozy.  But very slow. 
I was a prime example of letting the year end "the way I wanted"-

Slow....Quiet, and peaceful.

The entire day proved no different.

Parts of me wanted to get out and shake a leg, while the other part said..."You deserve what you want to do, and if you want to stay in and take a hot bath while candles are lit..well, then you go girl, do what YOU want..."

The first silly move I made was washing my hair that morning.
And if you're opening your eyes super wide, like "ew girl, you don't shower?!"
LOL!  I do, but washing this mop every day is like, no bueno.

So imagine this fog. Curly wet hair.  Lazy body.  Big fat sloth.

Don't get too disappointed in me though kids, I did manage to stuff the Christmas boxes to the brim with all the xmas stuff.  Minus the lights. We decided we'll give them one more week in all their dock glory.

Fog.
This is why we are lucky enough to own flat irons.
All praises to the flat irons in the world. HAHAHA!

If you wonder what we did for NYE?  Walked to Mothers Tavern. Football. Dinner. Tubby.  Bed. 

And I loved it.

The week before, Corey (whom has been like a son to Bill and I-along with Kris' long time best friend) asked Kris to be in his wedding.  Something I so badly hoped for a couple months ago when they popped the news, but had real no idea how it would unfold.

When Kris sent me this with tons of emotions behind that text.
Later explaining over the phone how he teared up.
Corey, I am beyond excited and proud of you.
I watched you evolve into a hardworking man.
Always loving those around you.
Always thriving through the stages of your life.
Kris is so honored to stand with you.
We are incredibly excited to watch you enter a new chapter.

And so...

HAPPY NEW YEARS KIDS!

I didn't manage to do a recap like I usually do.
It crossed my mind.
It also rehashed more yucky memories that I decided wouldn't be the best to upload and take a look.
2017 was a challenge for me.
For my family.
For my soul.
It truly was rough.
Although there were beautiful moments all together.
I felt overwhelmed looking back through folders of pictures.

So instead, I tucked away.
Loving on my little family.
Cooking meals.
Hugging them both when I could.
Hugging on the puppers when I could.

Simplicity.

Bringing in what I hope will be a celebration year.
A year to perhaps get in touch with our donor.
A year to love on my son a little more.
A year to love on my daughters a little more.
 A year to prosper in business and keep pushing for what we've worked so hard for.
A year to love on my best friend.

A year to just be at peace.
I want to put down my warrior stick.

Today, 2 years ago...we walked into City Of Hope.
Scared.
Confused.
Anxious.

And ready.

JANUARY 4TH, 2016

We had no idea how bumpy the road would roll out for us.

The ties that bound our family.

For better or for worse without the matrimony.

Relationships tested at full meter.

The love of his life would twirl in close during some of his worst days.

The mom would hover high in all places.

Taking names and calling bullshit when and where needed.

Sometimes frantically handling tasks she would never imagine handling.

You guys, we're almost at 2 years.

We are so close.

We are so so close.

(Thank you Mindi)


Kris, I know these pictures are hard to look at.
I have folders filled with heartbreak. This morning as I was driving to work and realized today is January 4th.  I couldn't help but cry- *shocker*
The song playing in my car didn't help the cause either.
Look at you honey....
You've pushed through some of the hardest, most painful days.

Those first days at City Of HOPE are, and will be the hardest days of our lives.

But you're pushing through.

We are. Forever. And ever.

I love you.

Happy, almost 2 years, my handsome birdie.

Happy Thursday lovers...

This Mama Lisa

"What hell meant to break me has failed...Now nothing can silence my praise"