Friday, May 29, 2020

I Couldn't Believe It.

24 Years Ago....


 
Side story- I bought this bonnet at Nordstrom believing this tiny bebe of mine would not fill it....but then when I saw her head of hair.....hahahah And those cheeks! HA!

I drove myself to the hospital after a walk through my local Farmers Market in search of my favorite sprouts dip mix I could never get enough of. 

After feeling a little dizzy and light headed it felt like the right thing to do was guide my body over to the hospital...

2 days over my due date. 

5 hours later I had her.

Naturally born taking the advice from aunt Ronda to ride each contraction like a wave.

Quiet. Stoic. And very serious. Didn't want anyone to talk to me.  Or touch me.

So fitting for my relationship with Kali.
Guiding. Loving. Letting. Pulling.

Birthing, and motherhood is the vein for humanity.

The lessons a mom hands you from birth.

From childbirth.

To be strong, stoic and able.

No need to scream.

Just make it happen.

She was everything I imagined and yet not really.

I'll never forget her eyes locking with mine as we began our nursing journey.

Something that didn't come natural to me.

I made it happen though.

For a year.

Guiding.

Loving.

Letting.

Pulling.

We both learned alot about the other in those first months.

A screaming baby with a very full head of hair.  Scared to my wits, just like with Kris.

Staring down at her little quivering lip with a love deeper than one can describe.  I felt it with both of my birdies.

Knowing full well I would protect her with every ounce of my being. 

I would try to teach her all a girl needs to know.

Some tasks that were a tad bit hard for my own mother to teach me, I promised her I would do my best to lean in and teach her.

To love hard, work hard and to be a good human.  To give people a chance until the bridge crumbles.

To be kind to all animals.

To enjoy every type of music her ears could grab. 

To learn the difference of love and lust.  

To learn the task of dusting off her knees when they get burned .....  and push on forward.

I tried hard to set examples and yet I'm quite sure she has a handful, shoot, a bucket full of my mistakes in her arsenal of life.
oh hey Jim Carey...HAHAHA!


I still get ansty on their birthdays trying to shower them with all things birthday.  

You know it's like 24 is kind of an average number. Over the hump of all the milestones, and yet, it's just 2 years shy of when I had her. 

She's walking the tight rope in a corporate world at work. Mozy her kitty waltzing around the house and window sills keeping her company and at times distracting her.  The luxury of her mom stopping by to bring a salad for lunch.  Or eggs.  

A dad that pops in to fix her tire.  

I am grateful to have a daughter to live this life with.  Her respect and love for me in unbreakable.

It proves the time you invest in them turns around full tilt right back to us.

She cries a little easier now with things that mean something to her. 

Learning to appreciate love, kindness, good people and fun times.


Kali, I love you so much and even when at times I set things straight from a 50 year old view to your 24, it's because I love you. I've been there.

Don't take shit when it's not needed.

Speak up, with respect when you know something is wrong. 

Ask again if the answer isn't clear. 

And if that answer doesn't feel right, keep searching.

Be independent, because in a flash things can change and you're left to paddle on your own.

It's good to drive alone and sort things by yourself.

Love that man that chose you.  Because he's a good guy (Hi Grant!)-

We might not be in a restaurant this year as the city begins the blossom effect of awakening, but I can assure you....you WILL be surrounded by love.

And as long as I am on this Earth, you'll always be surrounded by love.

And silly times.


Always stay silly....

I love you.

Dad loves you.

Change your oil he said.

I say check your tire pressure. LOL

And give us a high five.  (Kali hates high fives, and cheering with drinks. boom)

This plant will forever and ever take me right back to those first couple months of nursing in my bed...the smell every single May and June...




Happy Twenty Four My Beautiful Birdie--

I kept saying over and over when I had my first ultrasound with you...

"I can't believe I'm having a girl"

So stoked....



This Mama Lisa 
And of course, Dad! 

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