Friday, September 25, 2020

Forever. And EVER.

Motherhood is a forever-and-ever book of advice.  Listening. Giving. Loving. Worrying. 


But most of all, encouragement. 


These seasons that blast by us mean nothing if our children and or grown adult children feel unsettled. 


One of the things I wish I was taught as a young girl was just how fast this life would blaze by.  


The other night in one of my sleepless modes (a mode I'd rather discard but won't let me delete from my files and so....lol) I pondered on how much our bodies endure.  How a beating heart for 50 years is really a gift.  How all that we can handle, take on, and endure during the most painful moments still allows us the chance to make something from that. 


I look at a son who is 4 months shy of celebrating 5 years Cancer free.  Just typing that my eyes fill with tears.  I've backed up more and more from my mentoring those in the fight.  Sadly it's harder than it may seem.  Triggers of those days come right back. 


I look at a daughter who's aching for a career change, making big decisions seem so arrogant and yet, all I can do is encourage.  Why not?  At the tender age of 24, it's my right as a mom to push her to do what makes her happier.  Not happy.  Because we all know that whatever career path we choose they'll be some shit days, but if it makes you happier than the corporate ladder, than do it!


A partner who's moved through many changes this year and still stares me straight in the eyes when he tells me he loves me because he's a man of his word.  A man that worked hard for his family. He's also evolved into a hairdresser and stylist lately for me too.  Hair dye in the back? Check. Hair trim with his big scissors yesterday? Check. 3 inches never felt so good.  

Motherhood. 


Front and center.....

This life. 


Long sleepless nights thinking about those I love.  How I can help. 

How I can make this life better.  When many times I feel like tuning out, to realize as a mother you never will. 


We lean in just a tad bit more. 


Kali, I say keep on pushing.  Don't look back and even when you feel like the jump you did was dramatic and awful, remember this - YOU WOULDN'T JUMP AND MOVE FORWARD IF IT WASN'T MEANT FOR YOU.   You have always made me so proud.  From all your successes in high school and college, up til' now. You have mama/dad in your corner.  And in our laughter we'll always find the glimmer of hope and success.  

You'll knock it to the stars again and again.  It's who you are. 

We've always knew this. 

Don't look back. 


To Kris:  This season is unforgettable. But haven't they all been?

You make mama so proud. The changes you're enduring.  The unfamiliar territory.  The new people. Faces. Roads, and rocks. The heat. The newness.  I see you. We see you.  It's not easy, but such is true in this life. Thank goodness you've found a sweet little country girl partner who decorates like a boss. Loves animals as much as you.  And gives you what your heart deserved. All along, this was meant to be.  And even when you hung up on dad yesterday in frustration trying to install your new dryer and vent, it's because he's patiently allowing YOU to figure it out.  Lessons quietly allowing you to become.  

Become.

 Become. 

YOU are doing it honey! 

Boy have you OVER COME. 


 LOOK. AT. YOU. 





Wishing you all a beautiful weekend.  I'm still trying to figure this year out.  So many changes.  So much anxious feelings, and sleepless nights.  Haven't been able to kick my friend wine out of my life, so the nights get tangled with that too...
To those in the fight, keep fighting, because you will get through it.  Don't buckle by the nay-sayers.  Laugh with those that get you.  Be silly. (Shelley, it's bob)  
Drink lots of water. 
Send a note to your loved one.  

Leave love where it's due. And sometimes even when it's not due, a little note can make that blossom again.  Trust me.  We all need love. 

Smile at a stranger if you have to pull your mask down.  (Ugh) 
Or shoot, get real crazy, pull your pants down. or wait. don't do that. 

Spread those compliments.  
Spread that shit like it's sugar. 

Just don't spread glitter(ew) or confetti, because we can't be friends if you do that. LOL

Love and silly days to you and me. 

This Mama Lisa 

Forgiving herself over and over and over again for all the little things I do and did wrong. 

Grace. 





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