I confess, I didn't expect it to be this way....

 

And so the harmony begins to sing along with the tune of "I have my license"....and "Mom, don't worry".  And, "Hun, she's fine".  And "Mom, you let me drive right away" (my other K)...and blah blah blah.  Friends, some family, and colleagues, I also hear..."She's fine".... and "Trust me, you're gonna love it, no more cab driving"  "It gets easier for everyone" ....and on and on it goes.   Truth is? I am floored with fear.  Yes, me.  The strong girl.  That girl that has been nothing but strong and tough her entire life.  That girl that can take on an army.  Put my children in front of that army?  And I will take the place down.  And so I fear her safety. Her little world out there.   I ask myself.  Is it insecurities of my own? Is it letting go of my last baby?  The many, many, many oh so many miles we've traveled together.  While I tucked her into her car seat.  Her booster seat, when soon she'd get to "ride in the front".  It just happens fast.  I guess I am just not ready.  I am not ready for these book pages to turn so fast.  I want to turn the clock down one speed. Maybe to like "slow".  I look around at my little cousins, and the tweens around, and I think.  You just wait.  You just wait for these moments, because they are fast.  And soon you will cross this bridge.  If this bores you, and you roll your eyes at my antics of this page, I get it.  Trust me I do.  Because I've seen things, and watched parents do things that I have rolled my eyes at.  But soon learn, never to judge.  Never.   These roads, these paths come fast.  Raising children does not come with a book.  It does not come with a manual of "perfection".   We have all seen the perfect family raise complete morons.  And we've seen dysfunction raise perfect angelic humans.  We have.  So these worries?  Yea, I think they are normal.  I am having a hard time.  This too shall pass.  This too will be a memory.  And we'll all laugh at it...I know this. 

But for now, just bear with me.  She drove herself to school for the first time this morning, along with a couple of Subway and Panera runs.  By. Herself.  This morning in the rain, she drove off.  We will continue this chapter of pages turning each day.  I will pray hard, and hope St. Christopher sits shot gun next to her.  My days are changing fast.  Maybe this is it?  Maybe?  Happy Saturday sillies.  or Cabdrivers.  Or Mama bears or Father Lions.  May you all stay healthy and safe.  And warm.  P.S.  Guess who was sitting on the street waiting for his girl to pull down that street to chaperon her in?  Give up?  Gio. Yes, that boy.  Oh. the love.