Facing in the right direction....

When you raise children.  There are several, several factors that fall right in front of your face.  First, it's keeping this little human alive.  It's tending to all of the little cries.  The many worries, of "oh, my goodness, are they ok, that noise, rash, fever and cough".  We worry.  We continue on through those baby years, and land in elementary, where friends become the biggest challenge. Along with peer pressures of academics, social demeanor, who has what, and so on.  Middle and High School land smack dab in front of your face before you blink twice.  Ok, maybe three times.  Those pressures grow just a tad bit more. Soccer in the mix since Kindergarten.  This mom was, and has always been team mom.  This mom has made bows for her their hair.  This mom has situated all the little girls in rows for pictures.  This mom has driven to far places, close places, and home.  With sweet praises after each game.  Where I could.  Sometimes there was/is silence.  My clutter counter covered in ayso picture pins.  Toothless smiles. Crooked bow smiles. Pink, green, burgundy, black, red...every color ayso could offer, we played.  Sour Apples, Peach Strikers, Bring it On, you name it...we represented.

Fast forward.  High School.  Try outs. Brutal.  Peer pressure. Tears for those friends that didn't make it. High fives for those that did.  A helium arm makes her mom's arm raise to offer help, as always, wherever needed.  I was there.  I am there.  It's my nature.  Fast forward just a bit more.  Summer entering Junior year.  She has decided to stick with club. Over High School. "Mom, I'm over HS ball".  I melt.  I can't let her walk away that easy.  We talk about it.  We argue about it.  She cries about it. I cry more in private.  We talk about it just a little bit more.  As I ballet dance where/when I could bring it up.  She would growl at me, and I would persist.  Until Camp Tryouts come. I send in my money 2 days before it's due. She's there.  Giving her best.  Complaining on those days that weren't so much.  Smiling bigger on those days that were.  The rollercoaster.  Chapter sixteen.  Fast forward 2 more weeks.  Coach pulls has aside.  He lays it out there for her.  The "talk".  About,"you've improved so much in the last few months, I've watched your progress, and I believe in you....I want you on Varsity, but you will not be a starter, yet will learn as we go, and get better"....and the blah, blah, blah that he had to do for her little soul.  He has been very kind to her from day one.  He gave her the option to "accept his offer".   T.W.O. weeks floats by, while she visits Catalina, Havasu, and other summer fun....when her Mom reminds her..."K, you need to let coach know what you have decided".  So, she composes an email to him.  This email could not have been written better.  I was floored.  No need to amend, change, recommend, anything.  She nailed it.  She accepted what she knew would be many games sitting on the bench for almost the entire game. Maybe slipping in and out where needed.  She was/is fearful.  It's something no one can describe for her.  I see it. She has expressed the magnatitude of play, and aggression out there.  I see it. Some of these girls are her best friends.  Most of these girls have a bond unlike any other.  These are the years.  This season will indefinetly be tough.  She knew it would be.  I knew it would be.  We are there.  We gave and give our best.  We always will. Confidence on the field is like a flower.  It must be watered, and nurtured.  It will get there.  It might not.  

What will this teach her? How will this effect her?  My belief for one, is finish what you start. You commit, you stay.  Are there people out there better, bigger, faster? Your damn right they are. Always will be.  Life offers many other things than just "winning".  Or "who starts".  It's being there.  In the word TEAM. It's being a part of something that will make a difference somewhere.  Although at times it's hard to put your head around it.  Especially when I look over and she's standing there.  When B is making his frustration comments.  I see it.  When I know her studies would benefit her home at the table.  I get it. So, I bring warm clothes for her, and surprise her pockets with little heating thingys I bought for her pockets.  She has blankets, mittens, ear warmers, a parka.  She has her friends. That stand right there with her. Same thing for them too.  There is a bond.  This is life.  She IS facing in the right direction.  In life. In sports.  In everything she does.  She is facing in the right direction.  We are facing in the right direction with her.  These are the years.  Less play time?  More play time?  Close friends, and bonds? Lessons?  Are there any?  Pages in life turning.  Yes, I do believe in lessons.  Good or bad, will or won't.  We wouldn't know unless.  Right?  She could not make me more proud.  She does.  Do you know my K to be a strong girl, with a word that would never be broke?  She is a girl of her word.  That is for sure.  And I cannot guarantee many things in life, but one that I can guarantee all of you...."She is awesome.  And she is the star in my sky".  And I am so very proud of her.    She is facing in the right direction.  And these are the days.....

This is life.  Face in the right direction.  And go.  You will always get there. You will.  Be kind. Be true, and smile through the pain.  Merry Christmas to you all.  Stay warm.  Cook good meals. Buy organic, and eat organic where you can.  And...always buy good wine.  You deserve it.  Oh.  And thanks for reading my latest edition of "Facing in the right direction".   Long, but true and real. This is life.  and baby it's cold outside.....