This Life.

I had a good friend comment the other day about my blog.  A sweet comment that made me reflect on the last 11 years of blogging.  She said "you wouldn't know you truly feel this way by reading your blog because it always looks like everything is awesome".  Most of the time my blog content looks like life is just dandy.  That our life is just one big bowl of sweet cherries.  Cherries with no pits.  

Truth is, it's not that at all.   

 
I can't tell you how many times I've wrote, posted and shared on my blog with tears falling down my cheeks.  Pushing through for kindness.

For you.

For me.

For kindness.

For love.

For updates.

For Grace.

For HOPE.

For others in the fight of diseases.

Mostly, for my soul.

The night of our fundraiser for Kris in 2015.  Those nights I ran off of adrenaline. And yet the world doesn't see the filter in my body. My mom strength that was nothing short of miraculous, really.  It's amazing what parents can endure while in a crisis.
I am beyond lucky to have this man.  For now, and forever. We will stand arm in arm. 

 

Yes, I do indulge in wine with friends.  (I have the bestest friends on this Earth by the way, and at times if it wasn't for them-thank you Shelley for letting me sit on your patio and bawl my eyes out-i love you). 

I have been keeping my chin above water for many years now.  Something I learned as a young girl. A daughter. A young sister.  A young wife.  A young girlfriend.  That getting up every single day and making a difference (WORKING MY ASS OFF) is what this life, my life, is all about.  A single mom to two kids whom had a warm cooked meal every morning and every dinner, an active mom in their school, sports, activities, working full time.  I did it. We did it.

They're our masterpieces. 

My little trophies of hard work. 

My trophies of survival through a medical crisis.

2017

I never had the opportunity to crawl back into bed when my kids were little, to take a nap or "feel better" when days were hard.  I had no other choice than to get up and make a difference.  For them and for me. 

I've made lemonade out of lemons for years.  Recently, vodka is added.  kidding. 

kinda.  ha. 

I'm also the manager per say- of my family.  The mom-manager can be twisted, tiring and mostly painful.  The joys of life and motherhood are a marathon of both goodness and hardship. 

I've walked a daughter through anxiety and joys.  And I've literally carried my son away from death.

Confirming our nightmare biopsy.  August 2015

This week, and over the weekend I found myself overwhelmed with hurt.  When one of your kids is thriving and jumping through successes, while the other is trying to pick up more glass broken into a million pieces, you try hard to pick up the slack. When the love of your life is handed heartbreak through family issues, it burns your soul the most because the pain in your partners eyes is no joke. 

And like the other pain I watch in those I love, I can't do anything.  Just love harder.

So, if my life looks like a big ol' bowl of fucking cherries, remember this- It is not.

It never has been.

I make the very best of what I am, and what I have created.  What I have loved, and what I have hated.   

All this to say, I am a warrior. I am a mother.  I am a lover and I am a friend.

This life is not easy.  My blog is my window to my soul, and my projector of our lives.

The good, the bad and the ugly.

There have been days where I try to be the cheerleader to you all.  The days of sharing kindness, versus evil. I see enough of that these days.  

Love will always win.  Same goes for kindness and hard work.

Evil will take care of itself. 

That's not our job.

Keep on ridin' kids.

Keep on keepin' on...

Til' the wheels fall off.  I will keep on ridin'.

This Mama Lisa

Happy Humpday.  

This week has been one hell-of-a rock climb.

Nothin' this girl can't handle, I'm just a little more crybaby-ish.