Peace & Love: The Difference

Isn't it true when viewing a group in pictures, whether it'd be friends, parents or children... you really have no idea what chapter or page they're on. You do stare at a man that handed strength to a daughter next to him. You stare at the arms wrapped around each other. Not really grasping what that felt like to us because our vines are now growing with more faith. It was happy. It was bold. It was weepy but mostly full of love. You have no idea the beautiful woman in her long denim dress whom we call Mom has a walnut sized tumor. We all hope she is given the clear through her HMO this week (because waiting two weeks at this point is just getting silly) to get this surgery done, and done quickly. You have no idea the girl in the floral dress has navigated far from her parents for many many years and so standing there in their hometown felt a little strange. Strange but beautiful if that makes any sense at all. Yet she puts her arms around them in sort of awe. A little protection, if you will. A quick shot all together. Capturing the moment. My pulse racing because I knew the "Good-Byes" or shall I say "See-Ya-Laters" were imminent. You stare at the guy on the end and wonder where he falls into play. He's the girl in florals' anchor. The one who's heard the stories of my family for years and years. You stare at a unit that is shifted in a new direction. Sadly not because we wanted to, but have to. That's the funny thing about chapters. About the words people share "Things happen for reason" those four words I say bullshit to because no one deserves to walk through fire to get to heaven. Or fire to water. Or shit to peace.

This chapter is moving. She's beautiful. She's strong. So strong. She's birthed two daughters that will navigate through all the waters. With her. For her.

We flew up there last weekend. Not just for her. Or him. Or them. We had a trip planned since February. The timing was unreal. The day's unfolded the way they should have. As a unit, and yet as days with friends. The Six Pack. Wine. Laughter. Tears. Cooking. Views. Deer. Hugs. More wine.

And HOPE.

I'd like to wave a banner in the air for my sister. The sister that flew up, handled the paperwork necessary for doctors and nurses to get things flowing. Legal and medical papers covering our bases as two daughters. Filling out paperwork a patient shouldn't have to, and yet protecting my dad even more from the daunting task of preparing his wife for the mountain she must climb. My sister took thank you cards, and cookies to that very office that went beyond protocol and ordered the first MRI.

Thank you Tina. Dad always refers to you as daughter #1.

I'd say you were 100% number one this weekend.

You give me HOPE.

This picture resonates deep. It's a true depiction of us. My mom the quiet stoic one dealing with the feels. Meanwhile, my dad and I walk back to car to say our good-byes bawling. #thecrybabies

Thanks to Bill for capturing a raw picture of us. This life.

The Trabue's.

Stay strong Mom. You've always held it together silently. I see your brave heart still doing so.

Side note of the beautiful time we did have up there.....tucked up in a beautiful home rented. Thank you Jodee for finding such a gem. I will forever hold those fun nights and day wine drinking close to ~~my liver.~~ I mean, heart. I will forever remember stomping through somewhat familiar grounds with you all. Thank you for letting me tug you over to the lily flower garden to have our picnic. Even when we had no seat, just a stump. You all just rolled with it. Sitting down on grass in white pants, just because we could.

(Sign in a tasting room- Plymouth, CA. It's these little things that grab me...she mentioned to us that Joseph Aspdin is the guy that did their patio and sidewalk out front. love)

It's been quite the week that's for sure. A week of sorting. Of hovering over Kris again. Of learning and researching of my mom's new neurologist. Of LOTS and LOTS of praying.

I hope you all have a peaceful weekend. I hope your health is good. I hope your heart is rested. I hope you find little bits of hope in the days ahead of you.

Kali's still enjoying life in Italy. A wise reminder to me to sit back and watch beauty in the world.

Especially our baby birdie. Beer drinkin' birdie?

Her experience on the bus and train to Germany is everything. Rolling past the green hills of Austria.

The kind people with utmost manners in Germany. The respectful men.

So glad she's able to see the good in the world.

And a good cold beer.

I kindly asked her to walk around with a sign over her shoulder that read "WERE YOU A STEM CELL DONOR TO A GUY IN THE USA?" She declined but DID say alot of guys resembled the look of her brother though ----Amazing..........