Reach My Preach.

Not sure if I've shared with you the small amounts of blessings I see each day. Not just small blessings, but little signs.  One of the things I asked for during the beginning days of this journey was not only mercy, but forgiveness, and signs.  If there's truly a God out there, or Jesus, or the Lord....(I truly never even knew how to pray, as ignorant as that may sound) I just used allll the phrases. Man, I still say The Lords Prayer all night long if I can't sleep, and with all the respect in my heart I scramble that prayer so bad...

But you hear me, right?.........Anything to help me, help my son. 
Lord, please. Please please please. Help us. 

One thing I have finally enveloped into my soul, is the power of prayer. 

Praying is a funny thing. It's not something most of us set up to do on a ritual basis.  It's normal to get ourselves into a corner, and then....pray.

I wake at all hours of the night.  And during the day my mind goes into some pretty yucky places. 

So, I pray.

I pray all night, and I've learned to set some time aside in the morning to read my little devotional book, and pray.  Sometimes the little word is speaking right to me.  Other times, it's not.  

Same goes for the working of God.  He may not answer all the questions, or hand mercy out so fast to us, and yet He's working through you, and using your story for others.  

That is something I've had to swallow in this journey. Never understanding why we had to witness our baby become so sick.  The stuff we've watched in the last year is still haunting me.  

Labs.

Kris has some ptsd with labs. Going to a place every other week that rehashes memories.  The smell. The looks of nurses.  The sounds of beeps. The chairs. The hallways. All.Of.It.  He hates it.  

But who wouldn't, right?

Last week he made every excuse to avoid going. Mind you, I'm the one that asked his doctor to order them for every other week.  Most patients at this level are going once a month.  I called BS, and ordered them every other.  So who's not to blame him for following his own gut.

But you know, mom's tend to over worry.  And SOMETIMES we know best.  Right?

Right. 

On Friday upon scootchhhing over next to his chair at concert in the park, I'd smile and look up to him, with a whisper...

"How'd them labs go"  Knowing full well, he didn't go. (I log into his medical chart, often)

I'm going Monday Mama.  

Okay...

So Sunday, we celebrate life. A beautiful girlfriend, a beautiful lunch and dinner.

Monday morning the mama fires up those texts'....

-------------->  Labs bubby, and how are we on meds? (funny you remember my weekly visits to pharmacy, sometimes twice weekly..?)  Realizing on Sunday....hmmm we haven't filled any in a while- 

[Red Flag] ha. My calls this morning to my favorite pharmacy where only THEY disperse chemo, "Deb"-

She hears my voice, with an instant "Hey Leese, how's it goin, how's Kris"-

Love blankets people.

She's putting the few orders he needs together for tomorrow pick up...

No issues.No drama. Love. Motherhood common ground.

Life.

Friendliness.

He was waiting until Jen got home, and they'd head over.  Always filling my heart with joy and love knowing someone is there to walk those halls, and get through "labs"- The ones his mama insists he does, so frequently. 

I pray about everything. This, that, them, those, these.  HAHA.

I get a text.  

My best friend.  She's a doctor at that very Kaiser (Long Beach)-  (She delivers babies!)

You guys. She's on vacation for 3 weeks.  She was there to pick up meds.  

God is so sweet and good.  

A little blanket over my boy. 

Over me.

I love this.

Little signs people, little signs.  I literally looked up and laughed. Thank you Lord. God. Jesus. 

Lab day. 

No one said this journey was fun.  It out-right sucks some days.  

He has blood pressure issues right now.  He still wakes up every day, and all day with bouts' of sour tummy.

Thank you Zofran. Thank you miracles, and thank you for all of your sweet prayers.

He is one tough cookie. 

Who listens to his mama.  

Even though at times he would rather not.

God is good. 

His plan is in the works.  And with friends and prayers in the background....

Every little thing will be alright....

So there's today's preachy reachy.  To you.  If you're in a storm of poop.  Remember, kneel down. 

Love to you all,

This Mama Warrior for life!

PS.  Didn't have the courage to check his labs last night.  Last I checked was 5:15pm; from my desk.  Waited until I sat at my desk this morning surrounded by other humans. 

All looks good in the hood! Sweet dude always waits for me to report to him.  

These chapters....

Just waiting for his doc to call me to discuss this blood pressure--- 

 April 2014