When somedays feel more mushy.

Let's just start this off with "h.o.r.m.o.n.e.s."  That might....just might shoo off some dudes.  Maybe not.  Maybe, just maybe we will have some sensative fellers out there that will, in fact read, and understand just a little of how we are wired.  And if you feel that this is just plain nuts.  Well, it's your chance to close this blog now.  Go ahead, I'll wait.   

Ok.  You still with me?  

For the last many, many, many years I've donated my time.  I've volunteered for positions at school, soccer and anything that I can help with where my children attend(ed).  It's in my blood. 
The last year of soccer was brutal. Not in a bad way.  Don't get me wrong.  We had a kick ass soccer season.  But maybe age is getting the best of me.  I am ready to settle down and just watch.  I am ready to cheer on a girl that just might be tired of watching her Mama program, organize, wrap, arrange, set up...and all that goes along with helping in the phase of her/our world.  

So I decided....

It's time for me to step back.  Or down for that matter.  It's time for Kali to have her Mama involved in all things "us".  For her to arrive to gatherings planned by others....

While she is young.  We have eachother.  These days of High School will soon end.  I want to spend her Senior year wrapped around keeping her safe, and having fun in between. 
I want to show up to gathering to snap pictures of her happy moments.

That the early mornings be special because she is able.  That I can stand behind her reminding her that "These are the days". 

Because sometimes I wonder if being too involved can become a little too much for them.
Maybe I am wrong.  Maybe I am right.  One will never know.  I certainly never will.  But I do know Kali has watched her Mom be so involved.  That it makes me wonder.

And so whatever she decides in this life, I can be there.  But with a different view.  A different angle...I will miss the board members I served with.  Some I will see around.  Others maybe someday in passing.  I will miss some of them.  They made me laugh, smile and look at things so different, so many times. And I thank them for that. 

Today I wrote out my email.  To the person I had to let know.  I am hanging up my "hostess...helping...Rep'n....loving to help all" towel. 
For some reason, HORMONES....it was hard.  His response was even more melty.  Wait, is that a word?  Cool, just made a new word in this melty mess.  I will forever be thankful for his response along with all the other sweet parents that send nice emails. 

Sorry if I seem melty today. I am.  Yes, it's probably hormones.  Because one minute I am so up and at it.
The other minute I want to cry and eat a whole chocolate cake.  And for you dudes that are still reading this and shaking your head. Shame on you. ha.  Seriously, you are lucky ducks that this stuff doesn't kick your ass.

Because it sucks.  It sucks to be blue.

There are other days where I'm all...man, why did I blog that?  And then I think...you know what? This is my slice of the journal.  And it's real.  And you would be a freak if you didn't go through these days right along with me.  It's called life.  And it will never be perfect and sad free.

But then again, when you have a dude that will search for your Pantech like this? 
Why would you be sad?  These days make up for the other blue and rainy melty ones.

And so next year we prep for college.  Not where the next pasta party will be.  I will research the best places to apply for her needs.  I just won't be able to coordinate uniform bags next year.  I will research where she should study best, I just won't be able to remind families where the next game will be.   I will help encourage this girl during Chapter 17 and 18 that life is about working her ass off to get where she needs to...even though she has absolutely no clue what career path she wants. uh oh.   
Thank for reading along with me kids.  It's real.  I am sad. I love soccer.  I love helping.  I love my kids more.  And these next 24 months will be about guidance.  For her. 

And her friends.  You know all the cute other little things we do for them. 
NOW that stuff I WONT stop doing.  boom.

We can do this.  Together we can accomplish big things. 

Have a wonderful day little hormone riddled people.  I'm off to eat more cake.  And dream of margarita's on the dock.  Challenging Bill to some high jumps. 

Who's ready for summa?

This girl.