A good friend of ours passed away. Time frame is still really unknown and broken. But regardless she was a friend.
Through a break up, we all became separated.
During that time I drafted two separate text messages to send to her. For the reasons we all do....to give love from our side. Even though they went into separate directions, she'd still know we love her.
I never sent them. I deleted after typing them out.
Should I? Should I not?
Not wanting to rock any weird boats in shallow water.
Would it hurt her any more?
Would it bother any one?
Her spirit and character was fun. She always had kind things to say to our kids, and kind words to me. To us.
She left this Earth unexpectedly - This isn't about me. This isn't about my guilt. This isn't about my sadness and at times anger with myself.
This is about what I preach.
This is about speaking up, from your heart and gut, even when society tells us to "stay in our lane"
When it comes to telling someone you DO care, you need to tell them.
You need to tell them they mean something.
To you, and to many others.
Life gets tricky. It gets tackled by those searching for greener grass. It gets tackled by heartbreak and comparison. It gets tackled by sickness and addiction. There are those living among us TODAY that hide deep sad secrets. Because THEY can't get their shit together to get up and out.
And so the cycle moves on and on and on.....and before you know it, the train crashes and all that is lost is everything to us now.
DO NOT EVER miss the opportunity to tell that person you have been meaning to reach out to, you care.
DO NOT EVER miss the chance to send the silly text.
For one day, it could be too late. I've tossed and turned all week since Saturday morning grieving for her.
Some say, her poor kids, or her poor parents...and I say, ya...very very sad. But what IS SAD?
Is to think those of us on the outside really had no idea just how bad the cycle became.
I know I didn't.
I drove to work yesterday and the song "Rearview Town" came on and it was so windy. She loathed wind. In fact, I used to text her on windy days telling her it'd be over soon....
She'd send back a text with positivism always. She was the exclamation queen. !!!
Lorie, I am sorry I didn't reach to you.
I had a good cry heading down the 91 FWY, grieving you sweet girl.
Goshdamnit.
Send the message friends.
I will live with that forever. Not something worth sharing if you can't produce from your own preaching Lisa.
May you rest in the sweet land of peace and I hope I can see you again. I would give you the biggest, longest hug telling you how much we do love you.
Should have told you earlier.
As I've said to Bill forever "I love Lorie, she's a cool chick"-
Should have told you.
Chapter 49 Lisa, learn as you go. Keep sending LOVE, don't hold that shit back.
This Mama Lisa
ps- I have the sweetest pictures of her, I can't post. In due time, I will.
This is heartcrushing .
To Sean, one of our best friends, I love you. We love you. You will get through. As I said a few times already, you showed her a good time. You always bought her the cutest outfits.
Placing her first many times.
I watched you.
I knew your love.
We knew the end of the road, and the chapters.
You tried.
I hope your heart feels better remembering the memories.
One foot in front of the other.
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