The Best Part.

Halloween was always the run-around-get-the-kids-costumes and make dinner, and clean up dinner, and make sure homework was done, and blah blah blah...and I lost a bit of the magic in stepping back to just enjoy the moment. 

I'll also admit, I am super shy when it comes to costumes and dressing up.  Never want to draw attention much less have someone stare too long at a costume.  Still is a bucket list for me.  Before I exit Earth, this chick needs to suit up.  

This morning while running errands each time I see someone with a costume on, it makes me smile.  There was a girl dressed as a minion working at Trader Joe's.  (Whom while stocking the wine knocked over the entire case and we both jumped and then started laughing hysterical-MUCH needed on my behalf little did she know)-  There was a cow at the register, and Waldo outside grabbing carts.  At the bank a Tiger took my deposit. 

Grrrrr....

One of my employees is dressing up for a party tonight as a Bee Keeper and his girlfriend is The Bee-

SO CUTE!  

Anyway, then there's these cute fellers...

And then there's this cute feller. 

Sorry I fell off the Halloween wagon for a second.  Happens when I sneak back in our chapters of years past.

But, woahdang.....TRICK-OR-TREAT!!

Be safe tonight friends, let me know if you find the neighborhood that hands out margarita's and tacos.  Read that on a meme and lol'd. 

Happy Halloween!

This Mama Lisa

For Today.

A day I've texted those I love or need, sharing my overwhelming need for mercy.  In friendship and spirit.  

Jumping on Le Cry Baby Train, early Sunday and never jumping off. 

I'm overwhelmed today.  Feeling a little broken down.  Like my engine light just came on. 

A day I will look back on and smile one day while reading through my blog.

Oh, shoot, that was a bad bad week-wasn't it.  And yet I made it through.  

It's nothing in particular.  In my case, it's an accumulation of strength, love and endurance that is breaking.  I break apart every once in a while.  The air gets thick.  The days are long and nights even longer.  I've laid awake this week pondering on all that happens in our life.  Why does one have to suffer through so much sickness all too often (hey Kristopher)- Why does one minute look like silly goose times, to be flipped over in grief.

These are the days where it's hard to mingle with society.  A day I wish I could hide in my room from it all.  A day where a knot is building so heavily in my throat that I have to walk away from my desk or people because tears will fall.  

A broken record to some, and yet to myself, a grieving mom.  A frustrated mom for my son.
A frustrated friend for my friend Sean.
A cheerleader for my family last week.
This week a cheerleader that tossed her pom poms in the trash this week.

The fuckit moments.

My son has been sick since last Thursday.  To some, it's a reminder of him building strength and immunity.  To me, it's a never ending wipe out of weight he gained.  I am literally force feeding him for breakfast and dinner.  Working in between.  Fetching meds, and writing big notes to remind him what to take and when.  

He does not deserve this.  

I stare at his thin frame and wish more than anything he's making the turn for better.  And then the next moment he's having another set of chills. Or cough.  

He's the most positive guy through it all.  Even when I say "take another bite"  he does, and like a toddler it's sitting in his mouth. 

These are the days. 

These are the hard ones. 

As I preach to both birdies...

"This too shall pass"

 This feeling will pass. 


Love is an action word. 

To my best friends and to my sister who I miss because our written pages and chapters are messy.  I love you.  To my parents whom gawd knows even look at my blog, I love you.  To those I've lost touch with while doing life, I hope you are well.  Hang tough.

We are exactly where we should be.  So they say.

Sometimes it looks and feels super messy.


Peace,

Lisa 

A Definition of Love 

“It’s a verb. It’s an active engagement with all kinds of feelings—positive ones and primitive ones and loathsome ones. But it’s a very active verb. And it’s often surprising how it can kind of ebb and flow. It’s like the moon. We think it’s disappeared, and suddenly it shows up again. It’s not a permanent state of enthusiasm.”

On My Regret.

A good friend of ours passed away.  Time frame is still really unknown and broken.  But regardless she was a friend.  

Through a break up, we all became separated. 

During that time I drafted two separate text messages to send to her.  For the reasons we all do....to give love from our side.  Even though they went into separate directions, she'd still know we love her.  

I never sent them. I deleted after typing them out.

Should I?  Should I not? 

Not wanting to rock any weird boats in shallow water.

Would it hurt her any more?

Would it bother any one?

Her spirit and character was fun.  She always had kind things to say to our kids, and kind words to me.  To us. 

She left this Earth unexpectedly -  This isn't about me.  This isn't about my guilt.  This isn't about my sadness and at times anger with myself.  

This is about what I preach. 

This is about speaking up, from your heart and gut, even when society tells us to "stay in our lane"

When it comes to telling someone you DO care, you need to tell them.

You need to tell them they mean something. 

To you, and to many others. 

Life gets tricky.  It gets tackled by those searching for greener grass.  It gets tackled by heartbreak and comparison. It gets tackled by sickness and addiction. There are those living among us TODAY that hide deep sad secrets.  Because THEY can't get their shit together to get up and out.

And so the cycle moves on and on and on.....and before you know it, the train crashes and all that is lost is everything to us now. 

DO NOT EVER miss the opportunity to tell that person you have been meaning to reach out to, you care. 

DO NOT EVER miss the chance to send the silly text. 

For one day, it could be too late.  I've tossed and turned all week since Saturday morning grieving for her.  

Some say, her poor kids, or her poor parents...and I say, ya...very very sad.  But what IS SAD?

Is to think those of us on the outside really had no idea just how bad the cycle became.

I know I didn't. 

I drove to work yesterday and the song "Rearview Town" came on and it was so windy.  She loathed wind.  In fact, I used to text her on windy days telling her it'd be over soon....

She'd send back a text with positivism always.  She was the exclamation queen.   !!!

Lorie, I am sorry I didn't reach to you.  

I had a good cry heading down the 91 FWY, grieving you sweet girl. 

Goshdamnit. 

Send the message friends.

I will live with that forever.  Not something worth sharing if you can't produce from your own preaching Lisa.  

May you rest in the sweet land of peace and I hope I can see you again.  I would give you the biggest, longest hug telling you how much we do love you. 

Should have told you earlier. 

As I've said to Bill forever "I love Lorie, she's a cool chick"-

Should have told you. 

Chapter 49 Lisa, learn as you go.  Keep sending LOVE, don't hold that shit back.

This Mama Lisa

ps- I have the sweetest pictures of her, I can't post.  In due time, I will. 

This is heartcrushing . 

Humble And Kind

To Sean, one of our best friends, I love you.  We love you.  You will get through.  As I said a few times already, you showed her a good time. You always bought her the cutest outfits. 

Placing her first many times.

I watched you.

I knew your love.

We knew the end of the road, and the chapters.

You tried.

I hope your heart feels better remembering the memories.

One foot in front of the other. 

My Son.

A tired guy, who's still fighting through yucky feeling days.  And weeks like this one where another flu bug grabbed your fins.  Finally tackling you down for the count. More congestion, more gunk, and more crud to rid from your body.

Overwhelmed by your commitments, yet juggling like a circus clown fresh from clown school. You do it. Never ever doubt me in the back, waving from my seat, with a big smile even when you are frustrated and tired.  I will still smile through tears to make you push through.

I always have my flag ready to wave too....

I've prayed for you every day and all waking hours of my nights for the last almost 4 years. 

I've prayed for Mercy. 

I've prayed for safety and health.

I've stared across the table at your face.  Your smile and that dimple. I've stood tall in the background with duct tape over my mouth when someone is offending you.  I've learned to hold em and fold em when letting you learn the ropes in life.  Humans.  

You're a political dude with righteous beliefs.  I've fought harder for you than any human on this Earth.  

You were my first lesson plan, and I still reap benefits and mistakes from young mama-hood. 

But you and I were little partners in the past. 

You make me so incredibly proud. 

Your strength in unbreakable, and yet some days, like a few this week, you were ready to cave.

Taking a class two nights a week after work, tucking into bed at almost midnight is taking its toll. 

I see you.  I hear you.  I can only imagine, and yet you've set your mind to finish. Almost there is what you say. 

You are a good human to animals. All living creatures (except grasshoppers that are eating your plants) 

I love you.

You have made me a stronger mom.  You've stood next to me when things are difficult and often times can be my food connoisseur partner. 

I am yours and you are mine.

Keep swimming and don't stop what you believe in. 

YOU are worth it. 

I love you from every sentence and every letter we've written together in the 30 chapters. 

I've reached higher because of you.

I've dug deeper than I ever imagine I could for you. 

I've fought off evil, in humans and disease with you.

We've weathered a few tornado's together.  

You are my sunshine.

They say hardship brings beauty.  Sometimes I call bullshit on that phrase, but I'll always hold out hope to keep seeing the beauty.

After all, I can still wrap my arms around him and kiss his sweet cheeks.

Or at times, after a dinner I've made for my family, he'll walk out after kissing my cheek.

Grateful.

Love

Mama 

Or in your phone I see Momster.   What's that all about.  LOL

Like that song says, MOST mom's should have the title of Saints.
Amiright?

Change that to Saint Mom.

k bye

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND FRIENDS!
Make that beautiful meal your body craves.
Serve your family, or serve your pets.
.
Or eat out and be served...

Just drink your water, and sip good wine...

XOXO

As for me and my hands?  I'll be a mama nurse, family manager and love passeroutterrrrr LOL!

In reference to the phrase about Mom Saints....listen to this song...it's one of my favorites..

"Most mama's outta qualify for saint-hood"  

Most People

Listen closely to the words....

My Daughter.

Old picture, but it takes me back to the day you were flying to Italy. To study and party.

It was a bigger moment of "Bravery" for both of us.  Driving away from your dorm coming in hot for first place.  But sending you off after knowing how nervous and anxious you were.
I see STRENGTH. 

You continue to make mama so proud.  Learning as you go.  This life isn't always easy, but you're surely paving an amazing road for you and your little family (Hey Grant and Mo!).  Getting up every morning early to grind again. And like this morning meeting your manager for breakfast at 6:30am probably wasn't your favorite, but proves the GRIT that your career needs. 

The traffic you navigate in every single day.  The Sunday night jitters you get to prepare for the week. 

All this Adulthood biz is tough.  But no one better suited than you. 

You make mama so incredibly proud. 

I hope these little notes to you from me stay in your soul forever, and even beyond that.

These lyrics rang so sweet to my ears.  (Except for it says, "Dream for Everyone But You"- um, no YOU MUST dream for you.)

The Daughters

I want your drive.

I want to live by your means.

I want to learn the kind words you express when mine aren't so.

I want to watch you soar.

I feel so lucky to have watched you thus far.

If I ever leave this Earth before you, please remember, you made me a better human.

A better mom.

I love you.

The plan in place for you is a good one.

Don't stop chasing your dreams.

E.V.E.R.  Everrrrr

All my love, all my life.

A warm round of applause to Grant-Man for his deep, unfailing LOVE for our daughter.  It never goes unnoticed.  You are amazing my dear. 

Don't stop, get it get it....

Your Mama

Simple.

Along with handing out compliments. 

 Don't stop.  

This world needs these small acts of kindness more than ever. 

Love, 

This Mama Lisa

Life In Progress.

Every year, for the last 18 or so, Bill and I would trek up to Lake Havasu City for the annual Run To The Sun Car Show.  A show that helped us spread the Classic Truck Bed Lid market, making new friends and sharing shade with friends we hold dear to us to this very day.

Last weekend was no different. The BEAUTIFUL classic cars and trucks line the streets.  They covered the golf course.  The held our bodies as we ventured from show to The Turtle. Or home to Cha Bones. They cruised us down London Bridge Road while singing out loud to Tennessee Whisky.  Or Bad Company.  It held moments of clinking all the glasses together.  Cheering to the words "Happy Anniversary" to the friends we met there years ago while "sharing our shade (EZ Up)".  

It held the most amazing sunsets.  Something I will never take for granted these days because it seems more and more folks don't get the chance. 

Run To The Sun. 

Together. 

Over the years, I've not snapped as many pictures as I should.  So I rely on friends. Or friends of friends to send them to me.  Most of those pictures offer lots of laughter, because, well...."big nose squinty eyes Lisa"-- #muchowine

But this is life.

It's my life. 

It's the story I am writing. 

  Shaking hands with old customers.  The conversations about classic trucks.  

Monday was surely an eye sore - head bangin reality for us.  Both figuratively and mentally.  It seems the older I get, the harder it is to recoup after 4 solid days of good times. 

Once I sort through the many unworthy pictures of me, you'll get to see. LOL just kidding-actually not, but you know the drill.

Here's a few that made the cut. 

Ummm, Leese, are we pretend jump roping....or......

dork.org

 Can't see my nose at all. 

And then, well....

"Because of you I laugh a little harder, cry a little less and smile a lot more"

This morning while IRONING (I don't iron, I throw things in the dryer) but I've had this favorite blouse for years, it's linen, blue and I just can't part with it.  

Crumbled in the bottom drawer, I began to iron it.  On the kitchen counter-LOL.

Then I read the tag this morning...

This morning I was still groggy. I am groggy right now. 

But this little tag (not sure if this is even the company that made it, I bought at a consignment store by my parents years ago)  

This is just life lately.

In progress.

Alive.  Healthy enough.  And smart enough to watch out for the weirdo's. 

Seems there's alot of them lately.  

Hope this week treats you decent.

LIFE IN PROGRESS.

Make a difference.  Some way.  Some how. 

Just be kind.

And if you iron on an ironing board, teach me. 

Or maybe not. 

PEACE out kids, PEACE out...

This Mama Lisa

Oxygen.

And sometimes you need to step away and put that oxygen mask on. 

Have a great weekend my friends....

XO

This Mama Lisa

Sometimes It Looks Like this.

Sometimes the people in the pages you've written in each chapter are the cheerleaders that rally you on.

The ones that smile across a table with affirmation that you are a good human.

The ones that can hug you at the end of the night filled with inside jokes and laughter and really know the history you left behind is in fact adding to the story we write today. 

The six pack story.

You bring your small dishes of comfort.  Not to mention the good bottle(s) of wine and whiskey that make us laugh even harder.  And sometimes tequila. Let's not forget the tequila.  HAHAHA!

We boat together, we break bread together, and we share life together.

The six pack is an element of history.  Of over 20 years of friendship.

Through sickness, health, death, and living...we stick together.

A pack that wasn't expected to roll on this long, and yet the bond is unbreakable.

They've watched our birdies grow, and we watch their nephew, nieces and cats grow. 

Without you, we'd be a different tribe.

Six pack. 

We love you.  We love US. 

And to my amazing little birdie moving big tall mountains....

I. AM. SO. PROUD. OF. YOU.

Friday was an Open House for friends and family to attend at Insight Global.
A moment to actually meet her bosses and colleagues.
It's the first time they hosted a lunch like this, and I think it's the BEST way to see their daily duties first hand.
Amazing organization.  Amazing structure, and most of all, her GRIT, and where it will take her-
Kali, you've got this girl!

Corporate-Schmorprate-


Happy Monday to you all...


As for me and my groggy eyes?

Two words.

Red wine.

Actually wait, five words...

Didn't sleep because of wine.


Hope you all have a stellar week....

Don't stop believing!

And NEVER stop telling your kids just how great they can be!

Because of YOU, teaching them---

This Mama Lisa

Friday Reminder

More and more as I learn about my birdies and their differences, I see why and how they attribute to their successes, and at times small failures. Nothing dramatic, but to them, whatever it may be...

A failure.

And how each one of them transpose the difference, and how they view each success and failure in their own interpretation. 

So interesting.

One is so hard on herself. While, the other views this life with a different set of lenses.

Shrugging off small petty, and yet absorbing the simple parts in beauty.
In plants.

In animals.
Putting himself through school two nights a week.  Choosing to advance his career as he moves through healing and all the changes that come with it. 

The other is grinding to the top, in leadership and corporate focus. 

What they don't know is the older you get, the more you understand that the BIG things in their lives right now aren't as BIG as they grow older. 

Take for instance, Kali.  She's Miss. Prompt Patty, and if she's running late anywhere, WATCH the F out.  In Kali's eyes, if you're on time, you're late.  She's the most prompt in our family.  It's her jam, and I'm not complaining.  

There are times I have to remind her that it's okay to make small mistakes.  It's okay to be late if it's not your fault.  It's okay to be honest with your self.  With your colleagues, and even your boss!

This week she came down with a bad cold.  The kind that starts off as a bad headache and soon rolls into a bad sore throat, and body ache, stuffy head, etc.  

Her week had a mid week baby shower (for one of her bosses) and a couple important meetings, all of which aren't dis-countable in her eyes. 

They sent her home on Tues at 1:00pm.  Not wanting to get her pregnant boss sick, it was the best idea to get home and get into bed.

She was home again on Wed.  

Thursday morning my phone starts to ring at 7:03am.  She's in complete freak the hell out mode.  MOM, I SLEPT THROUGH MY ALARM!!!

Mom: Um, yea, you're not feeling good honey...that happens!  

Kali:  Mom, I can't believe I have to tell my bosses I over slept! That's the lamest thing ever! My biggest pet peeve...

Mom:  Kali, I know this.  They will learn this about you.  You've been home sick, you've never been late....it's OKAY!

Kali:  Mom, I had the worse night I didn't sleep and I don't feel good, but I need to go in and show up just because I didn't call, and they're not replying to my texts'. 

The small lessons in this life.  

Be who you are. 

Forgive the moment. 

Things pass.

They'll eventually get to know just how punctual Kali is.  I'm actually sure they know this about her. Her biggest worry is sleeping through an alarm (i think we all worry about this)-

She gives 150% with whatever she does -  

She called me while driving in, just because she needed the affirmation that "It's all okay"-

Things happen.

Her mom reminding her that life is too fast.  Be a hard worker.  Be loyal to those you should be loyal to, and the rest will fall into place. 

This day, 1 month from now won't be the big deal it was at 7:am this morning.

Life moves on. 

Fridays come and go.  

Just like Monday's.  You get through.

Thanks for listening she said----

It's what moms can do.  It's what we teach.  And show. And set examples for. 

Can't always say I've been Prompt Patty, but I do like excellent attendance. 

And for that.... I say, YOU GO GIRL!

No excuses!

Happy Freaking Friday!

Wash yo hands kids, and keep your fingers away from your FACE!

No teeth pickin', eye wipin, unless your hands are clean!

AND, don't share drinks! HAHAHA!

Be grateful you can heal, because some folks never get that chance.

"Race to the top, or race to the bottom-Either way you will win" 

Up to you-  Just don't give up. 

Ever- EVER!

Goodness gracious I hope you both know how much I love you....

PS-  I often think of this blog as my book and long open letter to them.  Something I hope they can look back upon for the rest of their lives.  And mine.  xo 
Hang in there with me kids haha. 

So True.

Many reasons to become frustrated with California (hello politicians....)  But the one thing we'll always enjoy is the weather.  California will always have the best!

Happy Thursday!

This Mama Lisa

Happy Birthday Mom- Seventy

I have been pondering on the word seventy for the last couple of weeks.  I can remember my mom telling me she was so worried about taking her written test at the DMV this year, and just how scared she was to fail.  I expressed over and over to study, and that she wouldn't.

It soon came to realization that she is turning 70. 

I've always expressed to those around me, it's just a number.

But for some reason, it haunts me to think she's growing older.  

A stain of guilt on my soul for not staying physically closer to her. 

Imperfect families, yet love runs deep. 

The thought of not being able to chat with her, or even hug her haunts me.

Action.

Life. 

Chapters.

Regrets, and yet motive. 

Just act like you don't see the piece of picture missing from her forehead. LOL

My mom had us really young, so she was always the young mom.  The mom that really wasn't super stoked to be a young mom, or a mom in general, but she gave all she had. Literally. 

Mike and Pam 1992

The only thing that stood in front of my sister and I, was her aerobic classes back in the 80's.  There was no stopping her and her leotards.  

She cooked every single night. Even the nights of blur when our dad tipped way too many brews back.  She cooked.  She packed up the car every Friday afternoon so us three girls would stand and sit in that local laundrymat to do our laundry.  We never had dishwashers or the luxury of luxury. We cleaned. She cleaned.  

My dad has one tattoo, and that tattoo is a bumble bee.  A bee representing the woman he married at the tender age of 18 & 19.  A girl he met in middle school.  Fell in love and took her through some pretty wild chapters.

She has always been the busy bee.

Same mama, same. 

 She has always been such a beautiful woman.  Deep down I think she feels like she missed out on the glamour of being a young woman.  Single and willing to mingle. jk

She gave.  She provided.  She would flip a blinker on or off when she was mad while driving and I'd swear it would almost break off.  HAHA!  #oldpontiac

She loved.

She always made sure to provide all the necessary deeds for her little family of four. 

On our birthday's we'd get her homemade chocolate cake, and well, she'd never want any fuss on hers. 

Happy Birthday to our Libra Mom. 

A wizard in the kitchen.  Can whip up an apple pie, homemade crust included, with her eyes closed.

Not the nurturing type, but what she taught me is STRENGTH.  I have a fierce demeanor or protection, love and nurturing to my family. 

I try and find the right card every year.  The truth is, the only words that can honestly come out of my mouth to her is THANK YOU.  Her reasons of being a mother are different than what, and how we all do the task nowadays.  

I hope she allows the love to flow in today.  I hope this day offers her sunshine (she loathes heat and too cold of weather)-

I hope the sun shines bright and her hair feels extra pretty today....

She's a tiny little shiny star. 

Happy Birthday Mom!  I love you....

When I think of you celebrating up on your hill with Dad, I imagine this is YOUR slice of a good time!  

May you stay healthy and able for many more years to come.  

This song always reminds me of you. 

Hot Stuff

Miss you.

Toot Toot Heyyy Beep Beep!

Lisa Lynn