Each day I secretly wait for Kali to call or text me that she's leaving work and if I am free to chat. Most days I am free. With the exception of my schedule, and hers, we talk almost every day. (Her commute sucks nuts) Although last week we went a few days without chatting. My general rule, just do what makes you happy. If it's catching up on her favorite podcast, or chatting with Grant on her way...I get it.
I think as a mom, I just want to watch her soar. I want to catch the glimpses of the goodness's, and of course the fuel for encouragement if needed.
Motherhood.
A few weeks ago her company took part in a fundraiser (rather large must I say) for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. A fundraiser she propped up onto her Instagram page. And the ever-so-kind donations rolled in. From high school friends, middle school friends, college friends, sorority sisters, neighbors, family....
I remember reading each note of gratitude she gave back
What her work family didn't know (with the exception of a few) was just how close this hit home.
How her entire family is still affected by this horrible disease.
The ripple effect.
She was the one in the background.
How her voice trembled the day she had her final interview and her two bosses asked "so tell us a little bit about Kali".
She shared her brothers journey.
The journey that started with her brother, and ricocheted through her mama, and her dad, and most especially, HER.
The one away in college. Trying to keep it all together as her mom rented a truck to move her furniture because her mama couldn't move her. The many phone calls left sobbing because she didn't want to cry to her mom.
These things that knock down the entire nest.
Fast forward 4 years later, and she's asked to share her story. To her colleagues. During their morning meeting one day this week.
She does not want to.
As she shared this with me yesterday, she said "Mom it's so hard to talk in front of crowds, yet to keep it all together".
I know.
Good gawd I look like a giraffe eating if I try to talk and cry. no bueno.
They asked her "how is your family doing, and especially your mom".
She shared her belief about her mom. How her mom handles it. How her mom easily crumbles but has no other choice but to stay standing and keep the troops up along with her.
You can't unsee things.
You can't shake pain.
You can't shake pain.
You can't shake pain.
You can't shake what you've seen, smelled, felt, witnessed.
You cannot.
But you do.
There is no other way out, but THROUGH IT.
Little did I know the effects it had on her.
On Bill.
You can encourage the family and hand them nourishment and care, but you can't take away this journey.
You know your daughter suffers from anxiety and anxious ways--hello-she's Lisa's daughter-
But we all have no idea how it tackles each family member.
Had dinner with Kris last night, and just watching his love for life is remarkable.
Extra ranch dressing for his fries? Bitchen!
A blink from his dog and a kiss on the cheek? Even more bitchen!
A cactus with a flower bloom?? ARE YOU KIDDING ME! bam!
LIFE-
His nose still covered with a band aid is absolutely NOTHING in comparison to what he's walked through. He's walked through fire, and still smiles at the littlest and most simplest things (sure he's stoned most of the time lolz, but that's okay, because whatever rocks his boat).
By the way, you guys...his nose looks amazing underneath le' bandaid---
(I always send Thank You notes to doctors and nurses who deserved to be told so, and I laugh because I said "thank you for saving my birdies beak! HAHAHAHA)
Kali, when you read this, I want you to know from the veins that pump blood through your moms body, I am proud of you. I am sorry you've been asked to share a story that was and is painful. If it's not painful now, maybe it's the triggers of hurt you endured out in college. I think we were all robots at the time. Maybe it's what gives you the flame to stay on top. Maybe it's in your veins to help another human someday. To know that they can get through the thick of yucky stuff.
You won your office competition for a fundraiser and yet no one there except those two bosses knew YOUR journey in this book. The pages you silently wrote in San Marcos. YOU, my dear, are amazing.The circle of friends you have carried around in your tote of life is obviously unshakeable.And to them, I say "THANK YOU"-I hope this disease is tackled down once and for all one day.If they ever ask you how your mama is doing again, you just say "she's good, because she's raised two amazing birds"- Well, maybe don't use the word bird, because they might think we're straight out of the jungle.Well....we kinda are, right?
Womp womp.
Cheers! Congrats on your win, with money and tickets to see the Angels!
Booya!
Tell your side of the story when you are ready ...
xo
You are the wind beneath my wings.
Love,
Lisa
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