The Winners.

The thing about sports is --------> I don't really follow or watch them until mid-boiling point. ie.- playoff's or finals. (rolling my eyes in embarrassment-lol)  I've gone to two professional baseball games, two basketball games, and I think one football game, (years ago, and it was the Raiders, and I can remember even way back then, I was scared shitless of those folks-sorry Monica-#LOVEU). 

What I love the most is the excitement around me.  I LOVE to see the loyal fans whom dress the dress, and walk the walk. (Happily-lol)

There's something about winning.  And winning some more.  And watching the Rams climb the bracket. There's something to say about losing too, tis the chapters we all walk through in this life. 

I can remember the great days of soccer.  Club and High School, that led us down some victorious roads.  While others led to tears, and a quiet drive home.  I can remember getting our asses handed to us one game in Huntington, which was fueled by a shitty ref (we called him Rudy The Rudolf-and I coulda swore he was drunk on the field).  The defeat in the walk out of that stadium. Fairness, not so much.  Life lessons? You bet.

Winning.  And losing.

The Superbowl.

The big weekend of celebrating our hometown team.

(Bill's a Pat's fan, so is my sister....and I'm just SO happy to see the RAMS make it to this platform. It literally thrills me to think of them winning a Super Bowl -plus their coach is hot, and so is the quarterback.  Shh lisa, stop)

Winning. 

Sure is a great feeling. 

Am I right?

Winning. 

Winner. 

Winning!

Winner!

Forever winning. 

Winning. 

Winner. 

Winner. 

Won!

Um.   Losing?  LOL!  Cindy and Kyoko, just looking at this picture gives me chills.  Worse playing conditions EVER.  Lancaster is for the birds, forever and ever amen.  And I love birds. LOL

So, back to the Rams. That last game. Amazing. 

I actually cried.  There was an older lady that came into our local watering hole (Pelican Isle), she sat down next to me at the bar, ordered a Virgin Bloody Mary (doesn't seem to be a local most likely there for just the second half...)...and at the end, she looked at me and said, oh my is this game ever gonna end....?! I nodded in agreement, as I limit myself to one brew --mayyybe two on Sundays, and I just wanted to get home to prep our food for the week-LOL.

When they won, she jumped up in sheer, outright shock and excitement, and said "This is my childhood dream"  she started to cry, and of course...well...you know me. I hugged her with huge tears in my eyes too, and out the door she went.

Excitement.

Winning. 

Winning.

Losing.

Learning that perseverance and tenacity will get you there.

With a good coach.

And a hellava good Quarterback. 

GO RAMS!

Be safe on Sunday kids. 

Uber-schmuber it babyyy! 

To GREGGO ANDERSON, this is your weekend baby! You and Donna deserve this win.  You are the shiniest fan of them all!  

To our friends Chris and Jen headed to the Superbowl, SAFE TRAVELS, and have fun! 

Winning is such a great feeling.

Life's lessons. 

"Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn"

Enjoy the rain kids.

Fill up that Well, fill in those gardens, and water our trees Mother Earth!

We're so grateful.....

This Mama Lisa

Biggest winner of them all?

Me.  Because this guy loves me. 

WINNERS! ( I took this last year and I can't delete it from my phone) 

Exit stage left Lisa.  He's gonna kill me. HAHAHAHAHA!   (enter slow clap)

Buh Byyeeeee

A Wink And A Nod.

This week was a doozy. 

Kali and I navigated through some personal issues. Finally addressing and seeking the attention she rightfully deserves.  Something she's walked through for years. We'd walk together through most of the rough moments.  More and more of her intuition said "seek help" before it spirals too far and beyond (She has a severe phobia).  One thing we learned with phobia's (hers is throw-up and the stomach flu)-  For humans that have certain phobia's. Whether that be spiders, bridges, heights, driving...whatever the heck it may be.  They are real.  And they deserve to be addressed. Pretty painted pictures aren't always pretty painted pictures.  Sometimes little humans grow up to deal with bigger phobia's.

The first doc mentioned she also seemed a goal driven gal, with a over-the-top perfectionist soul. 

This is true. 

I mean, she's been the top of her grade through school and college.

She'd get migraines and dizzy during finals, and while writing papers.

However it does not discount the feelings she is harbored with constantly.

He called them "Sticky thoughts"

The slightest thought of vomit, stomach flu, or anyone around her with it, sends her into a flurry of panic. 

All this to say, seek therapy where it's due.  Don't push it under the rug.  

You are not weak. 

You are human.

Before you cave, seek help.

It's safe to say, she's on the right track.  And I am so incredibly proud of her strength to finally do something about it.  Tuesday was one that will go down in our chapter book. ("The remember that day mom") The one thing I always find so pure and so incredible is the gratitude both birdies offer during a page in the chapter we're in...  My reply is always "It's what moms do" --

The first step, as with anything, is to ask for help.  Who better, than your mama...right?  So grateful I am alive to do so.  It always breaks my heart to think of the young ones without a mama. 

I am so proud of you Kali.  These first steps are the right steps.

You're an amazing little one, that's for sure.

This mama will stand behind you as you build a better understanding of it all.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kris and I carted ourselves down to Kaiser (Sunset) yesterday.  An appointment I will mark down in my book as one of the best ones yet.  And yet I was a complete asshole all week in preparing so.

I barked at Bill.  I barked at humans I shouldn't have.  And yet, even with tears in my silly eyes while driving, my apologies couldn't be more unreal.  I become a scattered mess.  

I HATE IT. 

Kris, just rolls with it.  He fidgets with his phone.  Friends calling and texting all the way there.  Did you know that hospital is only 29 miles from home, yet takes us almost 2 hours to return home.  

I am proud to say I didn't drive like a jerk though.  So that's cool. 

First stop LABS.  I was parking the car, (found a street spot, and there was already an hours worth left...GOOD SIGNS in my eyes).

I'd make my way up to the 8th Floor to wait for him. 

He steps in with the kind demeanor he offers.  And we wait.

Stepping in with our doctor....The fielding of concerns (From Kris) begin.  Asking for a second opinion for his knee.  Local doctor here (kinda cocky and a tad bit arrogant)- Our oncologist agreed.  The damage done to his knee(s) from Radiation/Prednisone is irreversible, which means he's headed towards a knee replacement. Asking Kris if he wouldn't mind coming back to LA for the specialist there to review.  Of course not!  Those doctors there understand a tad bit better just what havoc has happened.  As a matter of fact, Mr. Cocky Doc mentioned to Kris that his knee issues were due to "Age"-  

Twenty Nine.  ??  Ohhhh k. 

Labs weren't in yet.  His first comment to me, since diagnosis, mixed in with a wink and a nod...was "I'm not concerned about labs this far mom, he's so far out"  and he winked and nodded, and went back to typing.  

You guys. 

Kris received 3 vaccinations.  Hep B.  Polio and the Flu Shot. 

Kris chatted away with another patient.  Sharing his story.  He also shared that "the transplant process was actually not that bad for him, unlike some others"  

(That alone you guys makes me believe, just like child-birth...you forget the pain, and you only remember the beauty).

He weighs 134 lbs.  Which made me wince a bit.  

He eats.  He truly does.  He just needs to get some muscle back on.  His knee fixed.  

He will have an eye appointment next because cataracts are a common issue.  

The beautiful part?

We're going to start the journey of coming down and off some of his key player drugs.

Starting with Tacrolimus (Anti-rejection).   One less pill a day.  Instead of 3 a day, he'll do 2.  And each couple weeks if there's no rejection (yucky feelings) they'll continue the decrease....

A goal to be off Jakafi (PRAYING the weaning process won't flare up the Scleroderma) 

We're marking a goal for a year to do this.  Each 3 month check up.  

Doc's are hoping to pull him off of that, which will take away 3 other doses for antifungal, antiviral, and antibiotics.  

He takes 20 pills a day right now.

Chemo, however, will remain in the game. 

But to get these other playa's out of the way.... 

YOU GUYS.

It'll take a year or so...without complications. 

But it's a goal. 

We packed up.  My simple mama bag over my shoulder.  His backpack.  

A sore shoulder from the polio vacc. But a smile of relief I always see in his face when we step into that elevator. 

My text messages to Bill.  To Kali. To my sister.

A wink and a nod. 

"We're not so worried about those labs"

Repeat after me.  "We're not so worried about those labs".

And again.

And say it again and again Lisa. 

And keep praying. 

Protect my birdies.

Have a great weekend.  

I know I will.

All hands in up-in-the-airrrrrrrr

Note*  You know I checked his labs the minute I got to my office this morning. 

A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.

With a wink and a nod. 

This WARRIOR Mama Lisa

Give your smiles to strangers, and your heart open to forgiveness, and lots of HOPE. 

Everything is possible. 

Even when it feels like it isn't. 

Keep swimming.

Enjoy this sunshine filled weekend. 

Kris, I am so proud of you.  You are a true definition of strength. Determination. Patience. And love. 

ps.  To Manya (my assistant) if you read this, my sincere gratitude for your patience while working next to me.  Especially this week. I am sorry that I was so so short fused.  ugh!
pss. To my homegirl Kerri in Oklahoma, thank you for your ALWAYS kind words of encouragement.  They surely help my mania....

My Words.

What a week kids, and it's only Wednesday.  Mine has been filled with all letters that make up the word STRENGTH.  The sentences typed out across my heart in motherhood.

Walking through chapters with one bird.

And in complete awe watching the other navigate through these last three years like a champ.

Tomorrow we head back to Kaiser Hollywood for our annual check-up.  A day filled with labs.  Long walks through the concrete jungle.

My sweaty armpits. And useless chatter. 

A smaller purse slung over my body crosswise, versus a mamabird carry-all bag.

A son that looks skinnier than I've ever witnessed, but has the spirit of a rompin' toddler.

Smiles at me through it all.  Leans in when the time is needed, and leans far out when it's needed too. 

(*when I nag about what he eats).

He assures me always.

He listens closely, yet has his own opinions at this point. 

He's wishful for more sunny days, and hopeful for some playful days too. 

Tomorrow I wake, as I do, with my little sweet cute butterflies floating around my tummy (silly little guys)....and I put one foot in front of the other. And I encourage.  And I work. And I sling more papers, phone calls, and humans...not literal..haha!!! And I drive.  And I get fussy.  And I get scared.  And I get sad.  And I get bitchy. And I get hungry.  And I get sweaty. 

But most of all.....

I cherish every single second.  Even in traffic to and from.  Sitting with my bird.

Pray for him if you do!  We can't thank you enough! 

Can't wait to exhale this weekend, and praise God for his Glory in saving my son!

This Warrior Mama Lisa

Please Lord, give us good cells. Give us good counts.  Give us good weight. Give us good answers on his ailments. 

Good Reminders.

Full Moon sneakin' up on us this weekend my friends.  And with that, a reminder worth mentioning--

Watch your words. Choose your actions.

Tempers unfold faster than we want.

Breathe out when attempted to burst.

Navigate away from situations you don't feel comfortable with. It's perfectly okay to stay in, and away.  

Steer clear of weirdos and evil meanies.

Drink lightly, remember alcohol is a depressant.  -------> My name is Lisa and this is an arm wrestle for me. 

Stay hydrated.

And try to catch the full moon, should weather permit.  She's always oh ohh so beautiful!

Tuck yourself in and just soak up this wild weather.

Find a good book. Or a corner of the house that suits you.

And a good cozy blanket.

Little holla-out to this little birdie for navigating through a move into their new apartment.  For not losing her shit while putting together IKEA furniture.  Grant takes the most credit for this, in my humble mama opinion, but if you say that outloud in front of Kali, lol, she blurps something back along the lines of..."mom, I helped too!" and so I just toss out credit like it's confetti.  (Grant, you are amazing...and those cute pillows you picked out at Ikea..boom)

Ikea. =  Good cheap furniture, but requires LOTS of patience, and impeccable instruction followers. 

* the reason I buy most of our furniture from Craigslist, always in great shape, and always from a good home, and assembled! HAHAHA!  Kali don't play like that.  lolzz

Cute part about their story, both grew up in close proximity, yet met out at college. 

And now she's paying back student loans, learning how precious Sunday's are.  She's learning to prep food for the week.  Also, just how amazing crock pots are.  She's learning a thing or two about groceries, and all the prep that goes into good quality food. Trader Joe's sucks on Sunday in LB, because everyone and their pet is in there.  She's learning the realness of carrying a job, even though some colleagues are just weird.  She's made paper airplanes some days, and navigated new Macro's the next.  She's schooled Grant on how they must make their bed every single morning, because oh-my-sweet-lord.org-  Sheets are sacred.  LOL.

She sits in solid traffic some days, and has learned to take PCH for an ocean view others.

You both make me so proud!  

Happy Thursday my friends...what a wet, wild, rain-soaked-I-love-falling-asleep-to-rain, week!

Drive safe, it's almost gone!

Can't wait for the green grasses, and beautiful tree's and flowers to bloom!

Full moon viewing this Saturday and Sunday-

You are welcome. 

This Mama Lisa

One Thousand, Ninety Five. Days. January Thirteen - Sunday.

Happy 3rd Birthday Kris!  Happy Birthday to my German filled dude.  The gift from "Pirana" -

This letter from his donor is super light, but if you can catch the words...they're rock solid. 

   

 Letter sent from Pirana (From Germany, this time last year....our first introduction at 2 years)

   

A gift you were handed from an ice chest.  After a transatlantic flight, in the folded arms of a courier, to the amazing City Of Hope. Up to the 5th floor. To that first room on the right.  The room that had a collage of WHO YOU WERE outside the window, displayed for the world to see.  

To see the life our son was having before the monster chased your tail, and tackled you down.

Bill surprised me with a picnic on the beach to celebrate the news of our donor.  

These last 3 years are some of the most wildest, sweatiest, scariest, happiest, funniest (the amount of times I've seen you shit your pants, in showers, and in beds will go down in your memoir one day)

The sizes of pants you've changed, along with the style because some pants just hurt your stomach. 

The amount of meds you take on the daily, sometimes dropping a few here and there, and yet the whole house just passes by them like it's lint.  Dogs included. 

The heaters that cover rooms, especially the bathroom because your body temp acts a little wonky some days. 

The amount of marijuana you consume just to feel good, and most especially eat, will forever baffle me.  Yet, I remain a big supporter of natural healing, versus more meds.

The reminders a mom sets for a forgetful son because of memory loss.  Some from chemo, some from radiation, and mostly the most from...marijuana.  

I just jot notes down around the house like when he was 15.  

The love you have FROM and TO your dogs made this transplant chapter extra special.  Especially Skipper.  The love he gives to you on your toughest day can't be replaced by any human. 

The doctor visits that have rattled both of our cages, and the drive home is exhausting in traffic,

 yet, we feel this sense of relief from answers that we may have needed, or just venting on things that didn't or don't seem right.  

The exhale the closer we arrive to home, just finding beauty in the little taco stand we love so much. Simply because that Hollywood jungle is farther out of our sight. 

For the last 3 years we've sat extra close and hovered over Kris a little longer.  

A journey of sorts, I wouldn't wish on any human, and yet I still offer love and help for ANYONE stepping into the journey.  There's part of the discomfort in helping others that are walking into the "fire" per say, but yet there's a therapeutic part of it too.  

There's no guarantee in this journey, that's for sure. 

Having a loving, understanding family and a good tribe of friends that stand up next to you, or at times, lay next to you with encouraging words.  It's what gets you through.

3 years. 

I still walk into the pharmacy at least once a week, and by God, if I stumble across this one gal, whom we shared words (me so, more than her) we avoid one another. 

Her attitude proved to me that people that work around sick people, or sick peoples families, or most delicate...(the MOM-lol) you sortakinda, need to be compassionate.  

And after time and time again, you're just a bitch, well some moms let loose.  And when some moms named lisa let loose, all hell breaks out.  

But we've moved beyond that. 

3 years. 

They know my name there in that pharmacy.  They know I didn't sign up for this Annual Pass, or Subscription to navigate meds like a pharmacist, and double check their work each time.  In fact, I've always just been a mom that was so happy to have raised her kids, and really just wanted to enjoy watching them flourish and grow.  To get married and have kids.  To run off into the sunset with grandkids and not plan futures like the one we have now.  

3 years. 

This is our year to dig further into our relationship with Pirana, our sweet German donor.  

To hug him one day.  To see him and Kris stand side by side.  One super dark, one pale and thin. 

But BROTHERHOOD. 

One way or another, this journey moves on.  I pray that I can type these milestones for many, many more years to come.  

I hope you count your blessings each day you wake up.  Look at your kids, or call them and hear their voices.   

Some people never get the chance, and some people aren't strong enough to do so. 

Happy Third Birthday Kris!  Your life is a gift.  Your life is precious.  Your life is yours, so just be you.  And while you do see this mama struggle with worry, it's just because the flow of blood in a moms heart is always for them.  For the rest of our lives.

Merkemer!

Be The Match

Donate Blood

And one big group hug to all you cancer fighters out there. May you feel less pressure some days, and more fighting skills others.  May the focus stay clear, and the vanity of hair loss, weight loss, memory loss, and all the other shitballs that fall in your way, be at ease.  The human spirit is tough.  And you WILL and CAN get through it. 

Caregivers out there... you too!  One foot in front of the other.  

Don't take shit in pharmacies, and most definitely check their work, because trust ME, they make mistakes too.  

Not sure about something? ASK AGAIN.

And AGAIN if things still aren't clear. 

Mucho love kids.

Be good this weekend....play hard, and find your best blankie....could be a wet one!

Mama Warrior Lisa

Happy Birthday Bill.

Few things you may or may not know about this fine feller.

A roast, if you will.  

He's a man of his word.  

He'll fix anything if it's fixable.  

He gives good long hugs. Especially to girls with boobs.  

He's first in line at McDonald's when McRib makes it's disgusting way back onto the menu.  He's totally obsessed. 

He's wired like an engineer and methodically thinks EVERYTHING through.

His garage is a trophy winner in my eyes. 

He gives me long sincere hugs every single morning that it permits. Genuine, heartfelt hugs.

I am a believer that the longer a couple stays together, the pulse that beats between eachother in hugs are almost a battery lift for the heart. Can't tell you how many times I've hugged him in the dark early morning, standing in the kitchen, feeling as though "we can do this", and mean it. 

I know some folks can gaze lovingly into the others eyes in pure lust, but let's just say, this homie don't play like that.  I have a silly side, and any long stares usually generate laughter.

We can catch eyes across a room and know exactly what the other is thinking.  

Bill works harder than any man I've ever known. 

He has set an ethic in both of our kids to get up and at least try. 

He doesn't snore.

He blames toots on imaginary frogs in the house. 

He tries to add water to our hand soap.  

He is stern with dogs.  He will NOT feed any animal from the table.  EVER. 

He balances exhaustion, with dreams, resulting in driven goals.  Both of which he will not give up on.

I can remember celebrating his 40th birthday, and as we took pictures with the band, I thought, wow 40.  Now those numbers are just numbers.

Each year as we celebrate, the gifts become more and more mundane.  More practical versus luxury or impulse. For instance, this Christmas I bought him a new chair butt pad.  Hollaaa!

If you ask us, just to be alive, healthy and surrounded by friends that genuinely love us to the core is what a gift is.  Dining with our six-pack, sipping good wine, and knowing with each clink of the glass that we're all forever grateful to celebrate the milestones in 50's.  

Together. 

You'll always be the dopest boat driver, drink maker, love makin', steak burner, best pancake maker of all time. 

I hope I am lucky enough to love you for the rest of your days.  I hope I can get those long warm hugs, even though I don't have big boobies.  I have a strong beating heart, filled with so much love for just you. 

The long winding road we've traveled has been pretty wild.  I am lucky enough to say it's with you. My best friend.

My heart rock.

My everything.

I can't say I'll love you to the moon and back, because, well, I'm petrified of heights and just the thought of being shot out into space, just scares the shit out of me. 

But I will love you from one end of the lake, to the other.  Or harbour.  In this bad ass playa. 

 We'll crush our dreams together handsome dude. 

We're creatures of habit, but we both soak up moments of rest, and small get-aways.

I'll still wake up with my wild hair, freckled donned face.  Sun spots we've earned together.  I'll still hug you with my pale arms in the winter, and sun tanned skin in the summer.  

I'll still ask you to make me "just one more" and you'll happily do so, like you do.

I'll ask you if you wanna try a new face mask with me, and like always, you just roll with it.  Cuz yo cray cray like that.  

And you'll proclaim as I walk down the hallway with half-way blow dried hair..."the most beauutttifffullll girlllll in the worlllldddd" with funny sarcasm and we'll laugh so hard together.

You'll give me a hard time because I don't work out like a champ as you'd love, but can whip up a meal to knock your socks and underwear off.  But, hey, we've all got new goals, right?

My goal is to make you feel my love.  Forever. 

Forever, and ever.

Happy Birthday Bill.  Fifty "something"-  You sexy beast and freak in the sheets. HAHAHA

Juuust kidding Kris and Kali!  Kinda. 

And amazing father.  

So glad we found you.  And you found us.  We are so lucky to feel your love. 

I love you!!

"Mama" as you call me.  

My goodness, do I love you.