Taking me back.

While we were out of town I was scrolling through Instagram and came across a picture of my son.

On his Uncle Wayne's page.

I seriously sat there with a flood of memories flowing through me.

Could it be that he's twenty five?

Did the years just cruise on by?

The years really didn't fly by.  

Actually they didn't.  Kris and I have had a good long run together.  He was my little buddy from day one.

Signing him up for anything and everything possible to become involved.  I have always cherished the days of "Mommy and Me"-  And "Tot Lot"-  And of course Cub Scouts, St. Raymond's Summer Camp, that he LOVED.  Anything and everything that I could sign him and I up for, even during his baby days, I did.  Swimming lessons, bmx riding days where I would drive him to the craziest places to ride.  Because they had the BEST jumps. Good jumps? We'll go. He's a true Leo, in all forms.  Eyes on me type of guy. It's in his blood.  Follow his journey, and you'll see.

Although the first days were the hardest.  A young mama, trying to figure him out.  He cried, I shuttered, he shit so much one night causing it to run up his back, and all over his bassinet. I shuttered. And there were many, many, many more days and sleep deprived nights that would be filled with screams, and shhh's, and rocking in my wooden rocking chair -thanks Uncle Wade and Aunt Ronda-we'd endure many more shit blow outs, and nervous pacing around the house . He cried those first few weeks, extra much, I shuttered.  He gave me stretch marks (i only shutter now when I put on my bathing suit and avoid looking in that area), he gave me smiles. I tried so hard to nurse, but between completely sore boobies, and the lack of the knack for breastfeeding.  I quit. He gave me love like I never felt from any other human on this Earth.  He changed my perspective of life. He really shifted my purpose.  He always, always would love me back.  Don't get me wrong, he kept me on my toes.  The first days of soccer games where he'd rub his legs because they hurt, and he was too tired to run.  I was the team mom. Cheering him on, yet a tad embarrassed.  He lasted 2 seasons.  The days of soccer practice where he'd end up climbing high in trees while the other team mates drank their water.  He was active. He was busy.  He was most always dirty.  Dirty clothes, dirty face.  The visits to his teachers always involved praise of his academics, yet his gift of gab would most always get him moved to the front of the class. He was never a trouble maker, and most always won the hearts of his teachers. Kris was part of the GATE program (Gifted And Talented Education)- He is brain. One summer he was invited to Biola University for the Trig Summer class. 
He will never litter, and he will always treat elders and actually any one with kindness.  His respect while being served in any public place is top notch.  Both of my kids were taught at a very young age, that respect and appreciation while being served must come first.  That being rude, or disrespectful will NOT be tolerated.  I was THAT Mom that over packed while out because I always made sure they had what would keep them sane.  Or, for a better term, me sane. Or shoot, the whole restaurant/store sane.

I get to work with him every single day.  Some days are harder than others, because when shit hits the fan, or he is late, or he is unorganized, or he is this or he is that, it makes it hard. Because eyes on me.
To say that I am lucky to be present with him every day is true. I am. And I know that.
Even now, when I do hear of the stories his friends and he share about the days that I was ignorant.  Like parties at my house while I was gone.  A living room filled with sleepy heads.  Or when I would pull up to the bike park and insist to smell his hands in search of cigarette smoke.  Only to be told now that they wore gloves as a cover up.  Thank God he doesn't smoke today.  ugh.

I am lucky to be called Mom. I am lucky that I had the chance to conceive, and birth.  I am lucky that I felt life inside of me.  I am lucky to have breast fed. I am lucky that I had the chance to watch them learn to talk, and walk.  And learn the lessons in this big life.  Those blessings have made me who I am today.

To be called Mom, and know that you did the best job you thought you could with them, is so fulfilling.

To be called Mom and look back on pictures while you were in the thick of parenting not realizing how much change would come.

And change has come.

To look back on these precious snap shots, remind me of my purpose.  And just how lucky I was to become a mother. 

Anyway, stay tuned folks, "I may take back the lucky to work with him part during shark week".

just sayin'-

Happy Thursday to you all.

May your days be bright, and your nights peaceful.

xo

Leese