If there is one thing I try to work through when the going gets tough, is reciprocating my anger with kindness.
It's hard to exchange anger for love and kindness. It really is. It's not until things cool off that we can level our mind to switch it up. Just the word "forgiveness" wreaks bullshit sometimes. At least to me. I'm a tough little cookie, and not proud of that. But unfortunately have been seasoned that way most of my life. Little sprinkles of love and kindness thrown my way, and becoming a mother have certainly softened my skin. And heart.
There's something about the word love that captures me. If you ever step in my little pad, you'll see many signs. About kindness, and love. I will always say "love wins"- Because it does. As hard as that word can be, it does. I'm very sure many times I have stormed past those little reminders without even glancing. Most times during shark week, I become a little monster. A monster not worth hanging with. ha. jay kay. *cough-cough*
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| That one shot at fake tattoo's. LOL |
Another blog post, that opened my eyes, and whispered in my ear...about life. More importantly about marriage, or relationships. In my case, it's been a long time relationship.
One that has been worth fighting for. Years of walking a path together, through thick and thin. Some so thick that we would second guess why we were walking through it together. Some nights I'd lay awake wondering what I was doing. Some days I was sure I needed to change. If I am keeping it real, there were some days that I felt like running. Far and fast from everyone. Including him. It was the mentality of "the grass is greener over there"-
Do I expect that more days will follow like this? I most certainly do. It's worth working through. The fairy tale that we all see in the beginning fades, and the real work begins. The chapters of love. And compromise.
Patience as a first runner. The chapters become filled with memories-
In the beginning, you lust for one another. Soon, as the days fill with real life, you become attached in a different way, and work towards that lust again. Working together, figuring out what each one likes. Or appreciates. It's not an easy road. That's for sure. Work schedules, kids, life, heartbreak, health, sickness, trauma-and body changes- hormones- the real stuff here people. The real stuff. It's those chapters that fill up with love. And compromise. It's something that no one can really explain. Just like we can't explain why partners leave. Or drift off to someone else. Or something else in some cases.
A post with the title 112 Weddings. Created as a documentary about 112 weddings, presented by Doug Block. As a videographer he stepped intimately into the private lives of people committing to one another in societies most highly rated day. Weddings. As a documentary film maker he captured them then and now.
So many of us search for the perfect soul mate. The perfect life with the perfect man or woman. In every day life, this just does not exist. It doesn't. Devoting your life to the other person with hopes of taking away pure happiness at all times. In true form, and true fact, the road isn't usually paved this way. What we hope for, and what we actually find will in fact most always be an uphill climb.
It's realizing and working through those things.
Do yourself a favor and rent this on netflix, or itunes, and watch it.
Here's a snippet of the doc. Watch it.
112 Weddings
Marriage, it starts out so lacy, and so vibrant, and so frilly and lovely. Sooner than later it will become a story. Your story. Some have a happy ending, and some don't. Is it worth fighting for?
Of course there are exceptions to the rule, or game if you will.
But you sniff my drift right?
It's easy to get caught up in weddings. Engagements, dresses, rings, venues, dances.....right?
At least for me it is. I dream of engagements, just the proposals I see will always make me tear up.
Dresses, and of course the ring. Don't worry Bill, you can sit down, no need to jump and run.
As I have grown older, I see the big picture. The hard work that goes into them. Into any relationship.
It's hard. Extreme work goes into it. The longer the months and years I do believe the easier.
During the days of little ones, and work, and sports, and life, it's rough and tough.
Climbing through loss, and heartbreak, and tensions, and life changes....it's all hard.
Do you feel this way?
Life perfect for you?
We told both of our kids that we'd like for them to wait for marriage until Chapter 30- I'm sure they both have their opinions and feelings about love. And marriage. I will always support them in whatever they choose. Always have, and always will. But man, looking back, if you could help them help themselves....
Love. It's what makes this world a better place.
Now go hold hands. Or say sorry. Whichever will work best tonight.
Do you promise to love unconditionally?
Forgiveness can be a bitch. But it's the only thing that will get you through. If you've decided to let go of what was trying to get built, or shoot, you didn't want what happened...just remember....love will find a way back into your heart. I promise.
It's especially hard these days, and even more so with the next generation of social media, texting, pictures.
Lures from outsiders trying to make their way in.
We can only hope for our children. That they are able to walk the long road through marriage, or long relationships if they so choose to.
I know this post is long and mushy. Or irritating, depending on your outlook. Today. haha. Catch ya on shark week? And if you're wondering my reason for this post? It's because I keep it real. Bill and I are in a great place in our lives. Together. We are in this. But the road hasn't always been easy. And I can assure you, we work at it every.single.day.
Keep on keeping on. Smile, and try to feel pretty. Because staying pretty on the inside will forever keep you pretty on the outside. It just will.
Happy Halloween you little tricksters.
Be safe, and remember to drive slow through those streets, while the little's are out.
xoxo
This Mama Lisa-
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| Big hair, don't care. |
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