While we sat there sipping super good wine- Mine was called " If You See Kay ". ha! Say that fast. Say it slow. That's good stuff right there. AND it was delish- The Abbey in Seal Beach, has hands down the best house salads, pizza and vino.
Anyway, getting off point here.
Shelley mentioned to us that our girls will indefinitely go through a "weird" phase before they leave-
As in all things go buck wild. The stress levels rise. Their demeanor become tainted. Their attitudes become altered. So do ours.
I feel it.
Let's back up for a minute here.
I've been Kali's secretary for the last year. Take that back, for the last 18 years.
The counselors and teachers speak of "letting them do it themselves" and all that jazz, but in reality, they need us.
They have their own emails- That we check daily-
They have their own portals-That we check daily-
They have their own bank accounts- Well, I don't check that. But are WE are $aware$ that she is fueling that car, and eating just fine.
They have their own laptops-That we never graze through, unless need be.
The financial stuff is taken care of. Well most of it. Aside from some mistakes that were done by me, and had to quickly get back with FAFSA to change. Then wait for the college to intercept.
The dorm is almost done and ready for our little bird.
The schedule will be set real soon.
Our orientation is held tomorrow from 8-5. We'll be on the road at six in the mornin' with coffee's in hand, and smiles on our faces. The last big step before the JUMP.
But this girl.....this girl that I advocate for, administrate for, feed, counsel, help, love, fight for.....
CAN BE SO RUDE. As in walk away in the middle of conversation about the above topics, and roll her eyes exclaiming "mom whatever, that's fine"-
And so I will take Shelley's advice. I will remember that this next month will be crazy, and wild, and free.
That her emotions will jump in front of humanity, and how to kindly talk to her Mom.
That I have feelings too. That rolling her eyes, or telling me I have garlic breath, will maybe click.
She might just remember that her Mom is her rock. And deep down, deep deep down inside, I am freaking the fuck out.
I am afraid. Of her leaving. Of the change.
My clerical skills of parenting will pay off.
She's moving mountains. And while she moves mountains I will toss sand in the air, and hopefully not get any in my eyes.
Pray for us as we transition during this next phase in our lives.
Or shall I say pray for her, so she doesn't get a spankin'.
I've kept my fears and anxiousness away from her. But we all know...the stress builds up, and the worries linger. The Mama-mode is there.
For now I will prepare her going away party. I will continue to purge on things in our home that we no longer need.
I will hold on to my friends for dear life. I will water my flowers like no body's business.
I will dream for my children. That these paths are meant for goodness.
My life will be handed back to me to live.
The month will fly by, and I will cherish every second with her. At home.
Happy Friday Kids.
Be good, and play fair. Or stay home.
Because there will be a big ol' full moon. Which means a couple things. High tides, and some rude
You choose who you want to be around.
xoxo
This Mama Lisa
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