When his biggest fear creeps up.

As most of you know, my parents live up in the High Sierra's. Amador County to be exact.  Last weekend this happened...a reminder of our drought.  A reminder of how precious this life is.  And how quick things can change.

From where we stood last year in August....

Same spot.  On Friday my Dad reached the command post asking questions to anyone willing to answer him.  The first firefighter said, "get home, pack up and get out".
With animals, and a house full of memories, it was incredibly tough to get home and rally what seems an easy task.  It wasn't.  Broke my heart to think of him driving as fast as he could to my Mom. His arms shaking as he drove.  When I talked to him yesterday he was still very shaken up.  The adrenaline rush seemed to run the opposite way.  Tears and a lump in my throat floated to the top like a bubble in water...


Their livelihood, their memories. Their nest, their everything is up on their hill.

The resources that showed up is incredible.  Take this as a reminder of how delicate these things can be.
These guys that come in risking their lives.  Navigating through this hell on Earth.  Pretty bad ass flying if you ask me.  

From their property....


Dad...and Mom....I am hoping and praying that you guys can get through this dry season with peace, and safety.

We hear talk of an El Nino coming our way....and boy let me say....we can't ask for this weather pattern fast enough....

Bless our fire fighters, Cal Fire, the volunteers, and city workers that will assure the safety of my parents and all those affected up there.  Stay strong, stay alert, and live for today.


When I sit and talk with my Dad, he often bring up the fear of fire during the summer. It's his every day living fear all summer long.  So sad, this landed so so close. 

May peace be with you....

L

Inhale, exhale. Rinse, repeat.

As of late, I am battling my sheets, blankets and pillows.  All night, every night.  And it's not them, it's me.  You see, I battle insomnia.  Usually it's a monthly pre shark frenzy thing.  But lately, it's happening way more than I'd like.  I start off exhausted, into bed I go....slumber land hits, and then boom.  2am. Wide awake.  When I wake it's like I'm on a roller coaster, on the down hill slope.  Instant butterflies in my tummy, and clammy skin evolves within seconds of knowing I am alive.  It. Is. Awful.

2 things I assume are happening.

Hormone scramble, mixed with recent life endeavors. 
I totally get it when people tell me, hey be proud, this is exciting, and awesome, and great and blah blah blah.
The truth is, there is so much paperwork, emails, logins and transfers. Not to mention the hoopla of figuring out what fits in a dorm, and what she likes.  What she wants, and what she doesn't want. What she is feeling right now, and what I feel. The energy at times in our home is incredible. Not always in a bad way.  More like super nervously excited way...In other words, she's snapped into the air like a ferocious dog would.  At times, I walk away with tears in my eyes. Because I know it's not her.  It's just this transition.
And I can only say...."I understand"-My friends that are walking the college path, Kyoko, Shelley, Maria, Cindy (whose baby is headed to TX and is our baby's best friend and is really nervous...ugh), Rox, Cindy Eastwood---hey girls....Can you feel me?  Seriously...can you feel me? This is just to name a few....

My partner just went through one hell of a loss in his life, as I walked next to him trying to hold his heart in my hands, at times, I couldn't get a full grip either. No pity party here kids. Trust me. I've walked through some major things in my life.  Stuff that maybe some of you would never imagine a young girl would see, or go through.  So I am not asking for pity. Just trying to wrap my arms around all the change.

Bill says "work out hun, you'll feel so much better"-  Deep down, I wanna say F off.  Because he goes to the gym at 445 am.  And to me, I can't even walk straight at that hour.  He is my inspiration.
I am hoping to get there kids. I will.  Big changes, mean big changes.  So pray for me.
We snuck out of town last week to check on our house.  Although it was super early in the week, and we've never jetted off so fast, it was a few days to really get a grip on life. With each other.  Our favorite kind.
We get one another.  We laugh so hard, and we filter things together even more. 

The temps mid-week were hovering in the 116's, tipping the heat scale on one day at 118.  Which walking through the parking lot was work in itself.  Not my favorite cup of tea, but with a pitcher of ice water, and a couple shots of Jagermeister....we made it work.  HA!

Handsome lover.

Wearing braids, and no makeup this week called for some crazy looking moments I am sure....but I never enjoyed the lake water so much.

 And guess what?  I spotted lake poop already.  boo.

Hey chola with your hoops. 

Between working around the house, getting chores and errands done, we'd land here. Every afternoon. Alone.  Filtering. Talking. Laughing. Sharing. Hugging. Dreaming. Staring into the sky, and smiling out to the lake. 

The smell of desert rain would remind us that the deep in the heart of summer is in fact here.

The week would close out, and our moments together would be shoved into the corner of our hearts like a little stash of goodness to get us through the more challenging days.  Back to the grind it is.  Life goes on. Planning continues.  Pages turn.....and turn.  The book of life is being written faster than I'd like.  The calendar page is gonna flip to August right before my eyes.  No turning back kids. 

Live like there is no tomorrow, and love like a lover.

Remember this life is good.  It can be hard, but we will always get through...

xoxo

Bill, I love you, and thank you for all the little spoiling' moments you share.  Like stopping the boat every 5 minutes so I can jump in.  And taking me to College Street for my favorite salad and wine.  And for working on everything around the house so that our life can be so much sweeter.  It's because of you, that I can make the best of the days.  All of them. Even the tough ones.


Happy Tuesday kids.

Be good.

Remember to be kind to all living animals.

Wine. Friends. Farewells.

To keep a long story short, our Saturday went a little side ways, but in a good way.

Our day was to consist of a show.  In Temecula.  Neither of us have ever walked the streets of this town.

Nor have we driven the path to get there.

Once loaded in the car, and down the road we went, the 91 freeway would merge onto the 15 like turtles racing down a desert road.  Actually, I think the turtles would have won us.
Soon we'd land close to the venue.....starving.  Pulling off to eat at a cute little Greek restaurant.

A text would come in, that would change our sails for the day. I sat quiet, and continued to sip my amazing wine.  He continued to chew some asses.  Did I mention the food was super delish?! 

Anyway...the gentleman that he is, he'd soon put his arm around my neck, kiss me on the cheek, and say "Well honey, want to go wine tasting?"  - 

We know my answer. 

As we are walking out...the little feller bus boy says...if you guys are going wine tasting, here's some suggestions, and also be careful this town is a ZERO tolerance, and the cops are seething on the weekends.
Got it. Thank you kid. 

We make our way down the road up and over the hills, and yes spotting every cop in sight.  Tucked in driveways, pulling people over, sitting on a hillside with their radar guns out...just all of it.
I said "Hun, let's just go to one, and head home"-  I'd much prefer our dock, and a boat ride to see friends, than worrying about this. 

Here's the one we visited- 

Hey ho, I dedicate this to my cousin.  

It blows me away how a desert town off the beaten path of Lake Elsinore has rows and rows of hillside grapes growing. 

Don't know if you'd catch me ridin' dirty through those streets again anytime soon.  Just sayin-

Come on, someone twist my finger.  Please change my heart-

We landed home just before dark, and managed to catch up with some friends up the harbor.  So live music, good friends, and boat rides did magically come to fruition.  Life was good.  Until Sunday morning when I opened my eyes from a head stuck in a vice. HA!  Well, that's what it felt like.  Mix wine and late nights?  Trouble. 

Sunday was all about celebrating Mackenzie's departure to TCU!  She did it!  We are so proud little one!  We just know you're gonna rock that school. 

As I sat across from these three, it was everything I could do but not let tears well up in my eyes.
We all know I am a sap.  The stories between these girls.  The love and bonds.  

The dedication to their friendship, and commitment. 

When you read things that talk about "the distance between us will never be far" you hope and wish that their love for one another will get them through the darkest nights apart.  Texting, talking, skyping and just listening....will stay there.  I believe it will. I am so proud of these girls.  They've laid the marker on the map, and have done all things worthwhile to make it happen.  

As I sat in my chair, I spot this little sign across the pool-

Handmade by her Daddy.  And that very Daddy that sat down next to me, with that proud look in his eye, also mentioned that Mommy can't talk much about "the departure" without a lump in her throat, and tears welling in her eyes.

It was all I could do, with a smile on my face, and a lump in my throat to say.....

"I know Thom......I know"-


Happy Monday you lover faces-  I hope your week is good.  I hope that you spend time with your kids, and you feel the love. From somewhere.


Cheers!  Cheers to you Mac, Mad and Kali!


xoxo

L

A little more...

About me.

I love the ocean.

I love taquitos.

I love green rice from Super Mex.

My love for sandals is true, only because I can't walk in heels. #babydeer

I am petrified of heights.

I love classical music.

I drive pretty slow.

Although my son has been told he's a mama's boy, we all still text eachother goodnight, and good morning.
#suckit.

I can't stand improper use of -their and there.

I struggle with then and than.

I have the highest respect for those serving me while out.  Anywhere. Especially when I wear balloon dresses.

I miss soccer games, and those early mornings with dewy air. 

I literally have an increase in heart beats when visiting a public bathroom.  CAN'T stand them.

I will leave my girl behind.  You're slow?  Bye.

I mean....

I love to see people hug, and especially affection between couples.

I love, love notes.

I didn't really start to love wine until in my late 30's.

I don't drink any alcohol while at home alone.  Never have.  Too boring without anyone. 

I sometimes laugh when in awkward situations.

I can't stand rude people in public.

I adore little kids, especially babies.

My favorite time of day is just before sunset.

When I'm frustrated, I clean. 

I am a super light sleeper.

My favorite day of the week is still Friday.

I'm trying to be very strong as we transition Kali off to college.

I have a thing for cute drinking glasses, and ceramic bowls. Preferably Spanish style.

SO many times I dream of getting away, especially during the rough moments. 

I love iced tea, and never sweetened.  I cringe when iced-tea comes with little ice.

I love to water my lawn and flowers.  It's therapeutic.  

I love live music. Mixed with good drinks and friends, and you have a winner in my book.

The older I get, the more I learn that some people are shady and could care less of your worthwhile.

I always use my own bags while shopping.  Rare occasions if I need the plastic for something. I will recycle.

My heart breaks for homeless mentally wrecked people. 

I certainly can't believe my son will be 25 next month.

I can't stand malls.  Especially if I spot any human with high heels on. barf.

I borrow Kali's clothes. #itsawinwin

I'm trying to persuade Bill to move to Costa Rica someday, and live as simple humans.  Have we been there? no.  lol

I love green grapes.  Especially cold.

I love smoothies, with bananas and walnuts.

I LOVE coffee in the morning, and truthfully it's what inspires me to get a move on.

I tend to post pictures I feel best in. Yet never posted this because my hair looks greasy.

I love to decorate.

My feet are pretty big.

I tend to have a shy side.

I love super hot showers.

I function better in a super clean house.

I love the smell of fresh linen.  Yes, I buy all the foo-foo for smell good linens.

I was the team mom on every team my kids played for.  look at the girl in the orange shirt. getitgirl. 

This grand-doggo of mine is simply the best little partner in crime.  I have earned his respect.

2 door cars give me the heebie-jeebies.  I mean, why?!  uh um, sister.

I love to see Dad's be Dad's, and hubby's be hubby's. And not distracted by staring at other women.

I love to bbq on Friday night with Bill,with a lit fire and cocktail in hand, way more than a restaurant crammed with people.  With the exception of Captain Jacks. Cuz....

I love taking off in airplanes, but landing scares the shit out of me.

When I am sad, music pulls me through along with a good cry.

I sometimes forget to text people back, and panic later hoping they aren't offended.

My vision is failing me terribly.  It cracks Kali up.  Wait til she has to hold something far away to read.

He's challenged with vision already.  

I cannot stand cologne or perfume.  I will literally leave a room if an offender is in there.

Dogs that bark in a neighborhood at all hours of the day and night should bite their owners legs. ha-

I get really sea sick.  My love for the big wide ocean is true, but those swells and I don't get along.

Today is Thursday, and my favorite day of the week is tapping me on the shoulder.

I hope you all have a super weekend.  Some of you might know my littlest is headed away for college. 

I'm knee deep in her well deserved party planning.  I am so excited for her.  I am excited for this next chapter.  But I wake up every.single.morning like a kid waiting for Santa, counting down the days.  And not in the sheer excitement way you would think.shh don't tell her.   It's a crazy ride kids, let me tell you.  I give kudos to each and every one of my friends that has packed up boxes to send them off with.  The check list of what they need, not including a box of emotions that shouldn't be opened in front your kid.  But the preparations of boxes they do need.

The dorm. I am quite sure I will lovey it up.  But it will be really up to her to make a dorm a little home. 

As we drove home last week, she did express her fears.  She's nervous.  She's anxious.  We are super close.  But she knows it's time.  This goal that she worked for is here. 

And ain't no body gonna kick ass like she will. 

So for now, I will keep my box of emotions sealed with a tight ribbon.

I will find, and pack all the little goodies she needs. 

Happy Weekend kids.  The only thing we can never get back, is time.  So go live the life that you want.

Just take care of yourself. And always, always put extra lip gloss on.  And you dudes? Don't spit. And put the toilet seat down.  That's what they were made for.  Imagine that!  ha.


Love, and sweet wishes to you all-

L

A quote that stuck with me.

Saturday morning rolled around early, and surprisingly very peaceful.  Kali and I would sip our coffee, and soon jump in the car headed to San Marcos.  CSUSM. boom.  The morning was everything Kali loves. Clouds, and over cast skies.  We arrived just short of 8am, with a car filled with excitement.
As we pulled down the street...

A group of orientation leaders were standing at the parking entrance with signs "Honk if you love CSUSM!"
Of course, I honk...and got a tap on the leg "Mom!"-  Laughter ensued. 

I was lucky to get this shot.  

As we stand in line to get our name placards, music is playing, and O leaders are pumping em up...within minutes we'd be separated. 

Parents shuffled to this room.  

With a light breakfast served, all I could do was spot coffee.  And bagels. yum.

We'd stay in this room, while hearing anything and everything about their education, safety, dorm life, campus life-for 5 hours in and out of breaks, and quick break out sessions.

Our highlight was meeting our little birdies for lunch. 

 My lunch crew buddies. 

The organization at this school, is just amazing.  The leadership.  The community.  The campus life.
Not to mention it's expansion and new buildings for better resources and wide open options.

We'd finally come together in the late afternoon after she put her schedule together, and soon took her I.D. picture.  Official never came so quick.  Crazy.
Our drive home was tiring, and exciting. She's nervous and she's excited.  Nervous seems to fit as a better word.
Our Saturday night plans were squished into tired feet, tired eyes, and much much dreaded traffic.
I'd land here.   Having dinner with the 6 pack.  Russ, you did a fine job sir...fine job.   It was one of those nights that we were asked to bring "just wine"

 The Super Moon and artsy friends....Good job Randy!

And the funniest picture of the night? Aside from my creepy eye above...

This.  I'm trying to show how high the tide was, but in fact I look as though my head is falling off. 

And while we were eating and unwinding, these chickies were partying.....Shelley sent me some love.  Thanks Shell!

Our view to close out Saturday....

Sunday morning after enjoying coffee in bed, and an amazing breakfast for the 3 of us...thank you Bill...

We prepared to honor, and celebrate Shirley's life.  I was amazed to see the many, many, oh so many friends that showed up. Their old neighbors, and family from far.  Tears flowed steady.  Lots of hugs, and good memories shared.  Her friend from 4th grade shared stories and pictures that lit my candle. Juanita is her name, and she has left a forever mark with me.  There was something about her.  Crazy how people cross your path in life, and you hope to see again. 

Our beauties.


There was a quote that impressed me over the weekend.  One from college.



"Were not letting them go, we're letting them grow"


And to Shirley, we're not saying goodbye, it's just saying...."we'll see you later"-

Have a good week kids.  Remember to call your loved ones.  Share love notes, and big hugs.

Always drink good wine.


Peace, love and happy days to you....

This Mama Lisa


ps.  I took the above picture a couple of days before she left this Earth. Although it was hard for me to ask Bill if he wouldn't mind me doing so, it was sweeter to know he obliged.  I understand the sadness that might come from it, but in reality, it's real.  Imagine the hands she's held.  To leave with your hand being held by your baby birdies.