Why I write it out.

Have you ever wondered why this world can be so tough?  Why in the world do people say and act the way they do? How this beautiful Earth offers such treacherous torture to so many.  Why can one minute seem so perfect, and full of wonderful bliss, and yet within a few moments be turned upside down and become just one. huge. mess.
How humans can abuse another human.  How humans can torture and abuse animals.  I will never get it. However I do believe there is a purpose.  As with anything.  A purpose.

Over the weekend I posted about my pain.  Our pain.  His pain. Their pain.
All regarding a relationship.  Our family. Soon, I began to digest my post, just a little bit more.  
It made me ponder.  Should I not share something so deep for all of us?  Although it's my slice of this world. It made we wonder a little.

Not that I regret any of the meaning. Just more about keeping things true. And real. 
People might want to read about our perfect weekend at the lake.  Or the perfect sunsets we catch at the beach...or our silly nights on the dock.  Surrounded by friends. The awesome trips we've been on, because life has been good to us this last year or two. 
People might also want to read about my silly ways, and how this world of mine just seems "so fun".
Right now, trust me, it is.  And I am thankful.  Am I afraid, and ready for the rug to be pulled out from underneath? Very. 

Do people want to know about my struggles? The struggles of being a parent? The struggles of my daily life? The petty day to day drama that instills in us all?  It does exist.  This life isn't perfect.  And. never. ever. will. be.
It sure is easier to admit our success versus our failures, right?
It sure is easier to paint these perfect little pictures of the lives we want people to see.

It's easier to express fun times, and good times with friends and family.
I know that I show you my life in fun ways.  Hard ways, and I am very sure you can all read into my sad times.  And for guys and girls out there that have "those days"....we get it. Believe me, I get it.
We struggle when our children struggle.  We struggle when a family member isn't making good choices. Or things are happening within our homes that aren't just quite right.  We see it.  We tend to bury it.
I try to be inspirational more than negative to most everyone I am around these days.  If I can make one change to help someone dig deep and find what they are looking for, I will certainly try.  I start with my kids.  My family.  I start in random places, that only I know can make a small difference. I start while being served in places, teaching my kids gratitude, and manners along the way.  I will always offer a smile to a stranger.  I will always help the elderly, and show kindness in random places. It's just what I am made of.

I struggle just like all of you.  With the meaning of caring.  Safety.  Kindness. Respect.
I struggle.
There are mornings that I have opened my eyes, and thought...man, I've got to do this again.  Over and over and over again.
Sometimes, alone.  I do it.  I did it people.  Looking back on some days with complete aw.  I did it. Alone or attached. I did it.  Just like you. 
Does this teach my children the strength they will need for the rest of their lives?  You bet your ass it does.
Does showing kindness and love I give set a prime example? Yes it does.  

My dream as a child was to become a teacher.  But choices I made at the tender age of 18 sure blended that up into a different path.  Just within the last few years, I've viewed some things a little differently.  I've told myself that appreciating the simple.  The meaningful. And the purposeful side of things will show a path of more pureness.
That trying to live with more understanding.  Instead of searching.  Trying to live with forgiveness, instead of hatred.  Trying to live with kindness as the frontrunner instead of pointing fingers.  Has helped.  It's not the easiest path.  Anyone of you can ask Bill how some moments of mine can be filled with anger. With sadness.  Frustrations, and past childhood and young adult residual personalities...I fight it. Always have.  If someone asks me a preference of where I most fit in, or where I am most at peace, I will always say at home with family.

Struggles are there.  For all of us.  Happy times are there, and we fight hard for them.  We all work, yearn and search for that thing called "happiness".  

When I post about good wine, and good food, I mean it.  I don't drink during the weeks in case any of you lose sleep over that...I actually choose to save those calories for the weekends (learned something new about me..ha) But I do enjoy good food.  I tend to buy all organic.  Good wines, and I feed my animals the very same way....I keep myself focused on my family, home, and food prep during my weeks so that my weekends can be fun. 

I'd like to thank everyone of you, my friends, some I know that read my blog, maybe a friend, or family member.  Thank you.  For understanding me.  For getting me.  For loving the way I love, and showing me when you can the same. This life is hard.  This life is real.

Struggles will be there.  Keeping friends and those loving family members close is the key.
Sharing when you feel like collapsing is your vice.  Crying and listening to music to slam that door of hatred is the needed space.  For you. Letting those perfect people with those perfect lives live on in their perfect fairytale ways.  Just smile with them.  For them. 

Tinybuddha's quote this morning....

"Prefer a loss to a dishonest gain; the one brings pain at the moment, the other for all time." -Chilon


Happy Taco Tuesday you little Tea-pots.

Guess what today is?

It's POWDER PUFF TIME!  GO JUNIORS! GO MISS. KALI

Time to turn that frown over friends.  Time to let go of the worries that are built up today.  They will be there tomorrow.  But what if, just by chance our kids aren't.  Or we aren't?  We spent moments, minutes, hours and days trying to change something so petty in this big big world.  Fight for your happiness. I think you can.

Start with spreading kindness today..

Kindness conquers hate.

And fake people will be there.  Forever. 


and....ever.

boom. 

Cheers big ears.

Mama Lisa