Chapter Twenty Six.

I remember May 26th, 1996 came and went.  I was swollen from top to bottom. Waddling around the block each evening after work trying to make my little girl come into this world.

Her hair was so thick, and the bonnet I dreamed of taking her home in was......lol.....too tight!

Little did I know that 3 days later I would be at a Farmers Market, then drove myself to the hospital because I was seeing stars.  Blood pressure was over-the-top so we'd start a quick process into labor and I'd have her natural 4 hours later. 

The moment of birth is surreal. Something I will always be proud of, never taking that journey for granted. To carry life inside of us. I remember the first flutters I felt with both Kris and Kali. 

Incredible. 

The day I found out I was having a girl I kept asking my doctor over and over again if the ultrasound I was staring at was correct.  Not much seemed to go my way in my young adult life.  My choice to have Kris at 19 really stirred the pot with family, among a challenged marriage I just didn't think I'd be lucky enough 6 years later to be pregnant with a girl.  A GIRL!

The day I birthed her they put her up on my chest and all I could see what massive amounts of black hair. Sticking straight up. I was like woah. LOL. 

I'd bring her home the next day and again, my heart laid wide open outside of my body. Having a little girl even back then was a whole different approach. A girl to protect from evil.  From weirdos. From heartbreak.  She wasn't a super easy peasy baby.  She cried alot in those first couple of months.  Our breastfeeding journey wasn't the easiest start, but I was determined to make it work. Seeking help from Le Leche League, and nursed her for almost a year.  Something I was incredibly proud of, as I went back to work at 6 weeks.  

I wasn't a girlie girl growing up.  A tad bit of a tomboy, but loved to look cute.  I'm just not the glitter loving type.  The thought of raising a good human came first. To show her this world through the lens of what I knew I didn't want her to experience. Also a lens of what I DID want her to experience.  I knew I wanted to be involved in all aspects of her life.  We'd navigate through private preschools, private Kindergarten up to middle school.  I'd save to put braces on her.  (Kali, cover your eyes..shewasathumbsuckerforlongerthanwewanted) I'd sign her up for dance (she didn't like the feeling of tights lol) I'd sign her up for soccer.  She'd blossom first with the notion of new friendships, to then fall into the category of a mom that had a helium arm and ended up being Team Mom on every-single-team she ever played on.  Even High School and Club. I never left her at practices for fear of them needing to use a public bathroom without a mom there to watch for weirdos. I ALWAYS stayed. 

I'd meet some of my closest best friends through soccer.  Last night we celebrated Maria.  Kali and Kaitlyn met when they were 12 playing club soccer, and Maria would embrace me since then. Teaching me a thing or two about college, dedicating our time at middle school events, high school dances (they used to complain Freshman year, to loving us showing up Senior year)- We celebrated Maria last night at the Yacht Club and this picture of Kaitlyn Facetiming Maria with Kali just makes my heart melt. 

I made her a little heart brownie cake....we surprised her.  She had no idea we'd gather some of the troop....

A foster mom of sorts to me. Maria, you're an incredible lady. Maria's birthday is Monday.  

My due date always makes me sentimental. With both Kris and Kali.  It's a day that generally comes and goes in most pregnancies, but I remember saying that date to those that would ask for 9 months. 

Life.

Motherhood.

Friends.

Celebrating chapters.

Due dates.

This morning with coffee I fell into the bliss of my photo boxes I need to take to the lakehouse.  There are pictures of family from the past.  Photos take me right back. To those in this life that made us or broke us. Family and friends are gone, and yet some are here but still absent.  

Photos of happy moments, and yet sometimes I cross pictures and they make me cringe.  Some go right into le trash can. ha. 

Always grateful for my strength. For my willingness to give them a better life.  To do better.

Having a girl has taught me the ropes of decency.  They become a little mother to us as we grow older.  Making sure I text her when I get home.   The sweet stare into the eyes of her mama.  Of protection. Of love.  The girl that shows up on my patio leaving food and meds while we walked through covid-schmovid.  

Grateful to have her by my side in this life.  Girl-hood.  Understanding if one was PMS'n and wanting to knock people out lol, or the lullaby of a song making us get tears.  Or sharing pictures of funny stuff that a girl and her mama would get.  

Planning a wedding, staring at an almost 26-year-old, God willing able to have children of her own someday.....

Here we are.

Daughter.  This mama loves you. You made me understand the courage of loving a female with emotion. With a heart of gold, and yet at times in those teenage days a tongue sharp as a switchblade. 

You've made me a better person.  

Happy Almost 26 Miss. Kali!

This Mama Lisa