What They've Served.

More and more when I look at pictures taken of me I can see the years that have accumulated.  Accumulated into wrinkles around my lips.  Wrinkles around my eyes from squinting.  A line between my brow line from most likely frowning, or my RBF (restingbitchface)- Or the lines on the cheeks from the years of smiling. 

Kali made a comment to me the other day about my wide beautiful smile.  The positive effect it left in me will resonate, most likely, forever. 

I don't feel like I smile like I used to. I feel like I've been stained.

Stained by heartbreak.

Stained by fear. 

And stained by knowledge. 

Maybe the younger years are the years of being naive. 

Not being in tune of all the "what if's"that can  happen. 

That one phone call..

That one letter...

That one exit...

That one change in the chapters...

My smile isn't so wide these days...

Kali, thank you for saying this to mama- (she actually just referred to a girl she interviewed, for a position at NBC as an Account Exec-arrived at her office reminding her of her mom. She said, "she had like your hair, and tan body and like, your big pretty smile".... And it made me warm inside. 

If there's one thing you want to leave for your birds, wouldn't it be a beautiful memory of what you supplied them.  Not monetary.  But YOU.  What we leave in them.  I know my kids know how much I love them. How I parent them way differently than I was parented.  And no fault to anyone, just different times, and different humans, and different goals.  

So it's my smile maybe.  Maybe it's the food I cook.  The way Kali likes to watch me chop vegetables and prepare a meal.  It's a favorite trait of hers. 

Maybe it's the way I serve my family on little trays with all the extra's.  

My hands-

Lately I stare at my hands in awe. 

What they've done for me.

For us.

For my family.

Building my nest.

The hands that held my world together for a family who fought to keep things together -

The hands that learned many things as a tomboy because I wanted to know. 

I still can be a tomboy, but just don't ask me to put air in any tire.

Run, Forest RUN....Scary shiz right there....

Never a TV fan, but an outdoor, ride my bike and just go, girl.  

My hands-

The hands that pulled my babies out and up on to me, with a euphoria like no other. 

The hands that bathed them, changed them, wiped their tears.  

My hands-

The hands that made ribbons for every single girl on each team in the younger years as I sat at practice with a tired body from work, but my hands to work...The Hands that cut up apples and oranges for sports, carried banners across a field next to a jittery daughter, or a son who could care less about the sport and just wanted to catch butterflies and dandelions. 

A son that could care less that I made the banner or had the helium helpful hand.  lol

My hands-

The hands that hugged the human I will love for the rest of my days on this Earth.

The hands that rubbed my sons back as he puked into bucket after bucket relieving what his body didn't want after such intense doses of poison to kill a horrible disease.

The hands that wiped my own tears as I drove like an asshole down the freeway.  Many times, looking back, not sure how I navigated working and helping to save my son.  I still don't know how I did this.  #mamasuperpowers..#iwasnumb

The hands that have definitely sipped more martini's on a given night that would make myself fill with shame at 3:00am.  And it hasn't just been a couple of times.  I know, shoot me.
Just don't be a hypocrite. haha

My hands-

The hands that serve employees, customers, stray cats, and newborn abandoned kittens. The bottles I've shoved into those kittens tiny mouths to watch their ears flutter.

The hands that have clinked glasses with my best friends, to walk away with hugs we all know are filled with good times had, and good times to come. 

#drunk

The hands that have made plenty of mistakes.  Hurting someone by text.  Typing something rude at the moment because I was pissed to later want to erase what was spoken of. 

The hands that prepare things in front of me for beauty.  Whether that be flowers, planters, a clean dock, or a washed down patio (hey Shelley-lol!)

These hands.

Forty Nine.

Take a long look at your hands.  Don't look at the wrinkles, or wonky knuckles-

Embrace the beauty in their servant deeds.  

Those are years and years of giving.  LOVE. Food. High Fives (just not Kali), They've held your drinks.  They've held your little birdies cheeks while they wail in tears if hurt. 

Your hands.

Cherish them.

Sure we can try and pretty them up with nails, or rings.  

But in the end......

They've served you well.  

And those loyal beauties will serve you for the rest of your days. 

I hope you admire what your hands have given you.  The talents, the love, and most of all the serving to those you love.

Have a great weekend, and cherish each moment with those you love.

One phone call can change it all.

This Mama Lisa

This Mama is happy her birdie is out fishin!  He's had a rough patch with sun, its damage, and the oh' so fun part of his belly aches-  BUT that dude just KEEPS ON KEEPIN ON!  Go get some Tuna today Kris!

I love you!