Room Forty Five.

I had a post scheduled to hit Friday morning.  Funny thing was,  I didn't hit "publish" first, although the time and date were there.  womp.

Thursday night we celebrated this beauty...

Carmen....

.....Freshly retired, and soaking up the love from the six-pack, plus 3.  Essie, Lowell and Todd.  A quick fun night dining on her favorite kind of food...German!

That night after we arrived back home and I started to feel a weird tickle in my throat.  One that soon became a booger of a cold, chills, tossing and turning with the ohmygawdicantmisswork body ache yuckies.  A cough that wanted to blow the ceiling off, but I held every ounce in trying not to wake the world.  Not to mention, my throat hurt so sooo bad!

I woke up to a text from Kali....(she had a bad tummy ache that day before which was offering some pretty aggressive diarrhea-we spoke on my way home from work, and I just kept saying...it'll pass honey just let it get out of your body whatever it is...) [next morning:] "mom this is horrible with the worst cramping now and blood"-

Wait, blood?

I called our Kaiser advice nurse whom recommended we head to ER, after all, she said it's about a 1/4 of blood each time.

I'd down some juice, slap back 2 Dayquil's, grab a towel for little miss poop butt, a roll of tissues, and out the door I went.  Grabbing her hunched over.  Pale as a ghost to Kaiser we jammed.

We sat for 4 HOURS in that dreaded waiting room before they'd even draw labs.  Another 2 before a doc came in. And another 2 before we get a bag of hydration in, stool sample (yeehaw) and lots of blood draws.

But not before they walked us back to the SAME ROOM AS LAST TIME AND THE SAME ROOM THAT OUR BIRD KRIS WAS DIAGNOSED.  The same sink I wanted to puke in.  The same monitors. The same, the same, the same. 

Only this time, I looked up to God, and chuckled. 

Room 45.

I know He knows the plan. I know He has our backs.  But Friday was so frustrating.

She got the call that it's Salmonella! 

The cramps. The blood.  The pain was unbearable.

Today she heads back because, although on strong antibiotics, the pain is back.  Same with small amounts of blood.

Upon leaving Friday evening,  it was becoming more and more clear to me that I do not belong at that particular Kaiser any longer.  I just don't. The triggers. The nonsense that goes through my body.

My mind.

The insanity of health.

The wealth of ability.

The nurturing a mom does.

The walls she rocks to get answers.

Or in realness terms, the eyes that rolled when I walked away after losing my shit at hour 7 there.

Room 45.

Hope everyone had a good weekend.  Mine was slow, and low.

I didn't cook.

I didn't read.

I didn't play.

I did rest.

I held down that bed like a boss.

Hope you all have a good week.

We wonder where the salmonela comes from.  You think food prep.  You think the sponges.  You think the salad. You think your counter top.  She made her own sandwich that day. 

Was it the romaine, was it the chicken not properly wiped down from the dinner she made the night before....

The mystery. 

The prayers. 

The hope it clears. 

The gratefulness for healthcare. 

This is this page, in this chapter.

And she grows to understand when and why her mom stands up tall and voices her loud concerns.

She's learning that standing behind a curtain with eyes wide shut and mouths zipped up won't make things happen.  Sometimes you have to be the fire to get answers.

Motherhood.

Adulthood.

This life.

Happy Tuesday kids. 

Hope your rainboots are right by the door! 

xoxo

This Mama Lisa