Oh, you know.

That whole sayin' about "when your kids hurt, you hurt-and/or-when your kids are happy, you are happy"----- 

Have you felt that?  Do you feel that?  I truly think this feeling begins from the moment you bring them home.

It's that extra layer of protection that you are humanly born with.  Well, maybe for some, the answer is no.
Kind of like the mentally disturbed human that gave birth in Lakewood this weekend, early Sunday morning leaving her in the bushes. The bushes.  To be discovered by a recycling tweeker hours later. Thank the Gods up above he took her immediately to the Fire Station #45-Hey Thom Dutton, your old turf-! She's alive. But can you imagine EVER having to tell her THAT story? ugh-  Anyway, I'm getting off course.  It's been pinching my heart since.  Mental illness is real, I get that.  But man, these things break my soul down.

k, let's move on.

Kali has really never felt "settled" away at school. As I've said before, she misses home, she misses me, jk, she misses Gianni, she misses her home, fridge, mom's cooking, just her little life.  She's not one to party.  She's not the party girl that wants to roll in and out of gigs like it's her duty while away.
She enjoys early nights in, and she's an early riser.  Therefore, she's missing home.  Not that she's the only one in this stagecoach.  She knows that.  BUT, she's giving it all she has.  Her sentence of 60 units.  Sounds like a big number, but in reality, us grown-ups know just how fast time flies.  And so, I just encourage.  I talk with her daily.  We text throughout the day.

She decided to give a sorority a chance.  Try something that  might help things along.  A part of this was also just to "give it a shot"-  I kind of think along the lines of "shit whatever makes you content"-  New friends, new things. Try it out while you are out there little girl.  We always thought, "hmmm, what if you like it out there in San Marcos"-  She's like....um, no. 

Rushing for a sorority takes a few days.  Along with cute outfits, high heels that killed her feet...basically like auditioning for "The Bachelor"- HA! (which is ONE thing in this life that would make me dis-own my kid-ha)
She was chosen by all three, and decided on AXO-  however, the way she says it, is something along the lines of AKO- Laugh if you must, I understand. I was cradling a baby at her age, not "rushing"- or sororiting (not a word leese, not a word)

Her words this morning as she huffed her tail up to class was "Mom, seriously that was the cutest sweetest thing that has ever happened here at CSUSM"-  then she said "I'll call you later and fill you in with it all"-The main charity they cover is "Domestic Abuse victims"- 

College Freshmen-CSUSM 2015-(shout out to the Amiga in the background making sure her tata's don't fall off-bam)

Throwback to Freshmen in HS

The one person that I lean on during the hardest days has been my cousin Mindi.  She's a married mama now, but went through the same thing.  Same type of person. She gets it.  She's written Kali letters of inspiration and encouragement.  She understands my point of view, and most certainly understands Kali-

She sent her this. Yellow for "sunshine, and happiness"-  I mean, how cute!

If this week is anything like what college should feel or look like, I hope she becomes happier.

She still counts down the days until she can drive home for good. 

I won't fib, I've called academic advisers, and websites such as assist.org-  Cover your eyes Bill.  (this kind of stuff makes him cringe)  But you know me, and my silly motto------> "Life's too fast to be too hard"--
I encourage, yet I listen. I keep my heart open, and my ears even more-
Some of my closest girl friends are going through the exact same thing.  While others are watching their little's spread their wings wide and fly--

I want to leave this Earth some day knowing I did all of these things. At the very least, my kids will say, ya my mom's full of "weak sauce" and did whatever we wanted. ha!  Not true, I'm sure they will say..."My mom was so tender and loving, always making sure she had our backs"- Riiiiiighttttt K & K?
I hope they remember:
That I loved.  That I understood.  That I watched, and that I helped. That I worked hard, for them, and for me.  That I fought for what I believe in, and at times my lips have caused me trouble.
I won't regret a day that I have stood up for what I believe.

Per usual, my kids are my life.

Until my dying day.

Happy Taco Tuesday kids.

Be kind, and always share a smile. And thank you for being kind to my kiddo's- I won't forget you.  That's a promise-  Got that Mindi?

Aloha ----

xo

Leese