It isn't until you are this close to really putting the book of two thousand fourteen up high on a shelf, that you really begin to realize many things. All of the chapters have been filled.
It seems the minutes faded into hours, days into weeks, months folded into where we are today.
The last day of this year.
Looking back at the many mile "stones" you've tossed across the water. Some so pure and sweet filled with sugary bliss. While others can instantly make your eyes leak salt water tears. We all look at each other month after month with words of, "man you can't wait for tomorrow, we've got to live for today"- And yet all the "todays" are most often filled with LIFE. Errands, work, kids, appointments, schedules, deadlines...
Most important, in between it all, we add fun. I know I certainly do.
And with fun comes hard times. Sorrow, and pain.
Helping those around you pick up The Sorrow and Hurtful Blanket and put it away. Far far away. Kind of helping them dust off their knees. I know I've leaned on a few friends during some of my darkest hours.
If it weren't for Bill, sometimes I wonder where I would find strength. And not just lean on him for gushy love, but more living for him. For them. Pushing forward because we need to. We're in this chapter book together. We promised each other we'd be strong. And walk together. Through it all, we'd walk hand in hand.
We'd jump through milestones with our little's, and later sit back and think, holy shit...that was fucking crazy.
Not you? Oh, you're lucky. for now--
We'd clink our glasses with friends, expressing the fun moment we were in. Knowing that lurking behind the shadows was Fear. Stress. Lawsuits. Bullshit. Debt. Broken friendships. Burned to the ground relationships with spouses.
All of it.
And yet, we make it. Days turn into weeks. Weeks turn into Months. To this last day, of THIS year.
Kali asked me this morning if I make a resolution. My response, is no. I don't. Never have never will. Actually one time I tried to not use the F bomb as much.
I guess I'm a tad bit allergic to resolutions.
As for me, I will serve where I can. I will soak up love from those willing to give it out.
I will also hand out love where and when I can. Always offering praise, kindness, and smiles...especially to those less fortunate. Most important, anyone serving me while out.
I will continue to share my slice of life with you all. I will pray in the middle of the night when I can't sleep (because I know this shit isn't gonna get any better)- I will pray for my health. My children's safety. Bill's health and our life long planning.
I will pray that I can keep up with my group of friends that have yanked on my chain more than I've sometimes been willing to go play.
I will pray for friends walking the tight rope in this life. That they continue to pull up their boots each day and strap em up tight because they CAN do it.
I will pray that business prospers in my fiberglass world, and that I have the strength to continue on a more positive path.
I will pray that two thousand fourteen taught me life lessons. About life. About loss. About friends. And my lover.
(The link below will offer some bs ad's-CLICK THE TOP RIGHT X to exit from the ad, follow the little irrelevant answer box, and it should load- Hope it doesn't give you grief.... but if you navigate through and care to see over 200 of us, during 2014- From Jan-Dec- If not, move along little birdie, move along)
Goodbye 2014
It's funny to look through folder after folder of pictures, labeled so perfectly, month after month...2014-
I have captured so many. Some shared, while others sit for just me. Or us. Maybe not the world. Not this time around. Maybe black mail, or shark week shit storm. Kidding, kids, I kid. or....
Some pictures so real and stunning they push me back into my seat. Love, life and loss. All within months.
How one moment we have that loved one in our lives, and yet months later, she's gone.
Or friends that seem to have it all together, to soon find they are battling a melting marriage.
It's preparing, signing, touring, and finally settling in our daughter at college.
It's finally clearing out my sons room because he finally moved out. Watching him find a passion in salt water, that makes me proud that he doesn't hang in bars to get his rush in this life.
It's pushing through some of our hardest times together as a couple.
Staring at each other so many mornings, or evenings with pure honesty. Other evenings staring at eachother with tape over my mouth because I want to open that can of whoop ass, and I know I shouldn't.
Or maybe I do, and end up walking the path to bed quietly while wanting to hog all the blankets, pillows, and curl up just to myself. Just because.
I want to wish each and every one of you a beautiful New Years Eve. We had some fun elaborate plans, at some fancy hotel, at some fancy restaurant. Booked a month ago. I have the cutest dress to wear. And yet, something isn't clicking this year. And so last night, I dialed each of the places held on reserve under our name, and asked to "please cancel our reservations"- My plea was to stay home. Light a fire. Sip my ever so beautiful bottle of -Ramey Cabernet- An early dinner at one of our favorite little spots in Seal Beach. Just us. Together.
Because it's always better when we're together. Holla!
If I can take one thing away from 2014, it would be to remind your parents just how much you love them.
And if your parents are not here with us anymore, to move on to the next mentors in your life.
Your wife/girlfriend/sister/bestfriend/husband/brother deserves a note. Of love. Of praise. Let them know.
Because sometimes it's too late. There's always something they do that no one on this Earth does. Let them know. I promise that seed will flourish.
I do agree, live for today. But remember this life is fast. And before you know it we'll be reading a gushy long lengthy picture overload from me at this exact moment next year.
At least I hope I am able to be here this time next year.
Cheers Big Ears, well in my case, it's a big nose. And big feet. But don't look, k?
Love you all, I really do.
Can I get a big Womp Womp for the snow, and rain that is falling around us?! Mother Earth, hear our prayers.
xo
This Mama Lisa
ps. Be safe out there, and bring your pets inside- You own them, they are part of YOUR family.
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