Hello.....
So it's been FIVE Months since I've checked in....a new record....
A little hiatus from le' blog never did anyone harm, so they say. Until you realize family and friends kind of relied on updates-schmupdates here.
We've been livin. Renovating. Working on our post work life. Making new friends, bonding with long time friends and traveling.
All along my passion for writing, or jotting down memories on this blog, a constant reminder. I started this blog as a diary to my birdies.
I think of family members who live in other states that would catch up this way. My Godmother who doesn't do Social Media but would catch up on here.
Recently a few people nudged me again.
Lisa, just write. It's what you love, it's what makes you happy.
Side note: I did have ex-family members on Bill's side that were consumed with poking into our lives. It's kinda funny now looking back. The ones that are super sweet and kind to your face, but had daggers behind your back. Those types. I'm hopeful those sponges are still growing fat and happy and will just let us live the lives we worked our asses off for.
Pipe down Lisa. That's my hard side. I'll forgive people, but I'll never forget. And then there's those that you won't even forgive. You just know things will run its course the way it's supposed to.
I stepped back from my therapy. My blog. A place I would share so much.
And so last week I thought, you know..fuck it. Do you. Write the joys of the life you're walking in.
The good.
The bad.
The ugly.
And the gosh-damn beautiful.
What I do want to point out. Bill saved me from a pretty hard life. He's given me more love than I've ever felt. Along with that, he's allowed me a life I never knew possible. When I share kisses, hugs or good times with him on here, it's genuine. From the bottom of my heart, from the bottom of all I have, please know for the last 25 years he's made me feel beautiful. Worthy. And important. As I do for him. I hope he knows the depth of my love.
We both promised one another that we'd push through these next chapters. A new way of life. Years of hard work, trauma of saving our son. We'd be okay....without the humans you once called family. You move on with out.
Because that's exactly what I promised myself the day I walked out of the fiberglass shop after almost 25 years. These next chapters would be about healing. About making others smile. There have been moments where I feel completely lost, and others where I feel like I've fled a bad dream.
In more ways than I can express here, every 5 years something significant has happened to me. Going back to the ripe age of 5, I can always look back and say....wow, ya. 5, then 10, then 15. It's just a wild rearview mirror.
It's where I get my strength from. It's also where I get my tendencies from. And there's many.
Fast forward to my blog. It is (was) an outlet for me. A place to go to vent. To share. To laugh and to reminise. A place where both our birds can go back and think wow....mom. She was a silly one. Or....wow her love for me was so SO deep. She didn't have a recipe book on "How to raise the perfect human" but that she did her best. Definitely opposite from my upbringing. With that, comes understanding, and tolerance from the same recipe book they didn't have.
And so....
Here we are. July 9th.
Drove back from Havasu on Wednesday for a Pap Smeaaarrrrrrrrr Thursday. THAT is something ain't NO woman will ever get thru without the jitters. I felt like a 16 year old on that paper lined bed thing waiting for her to knock and come in. Then the whole.....ok, slide down...little more....little more. LOL!!!!!
*sorry not sorry guys.
This is life. Right?
So Covid Schmovid still lingers with drama and the whole vax choice. Family gets things twisted and mangled with an agenda that might not fit yours....and life moves on and you hold on to those that make you feel the best.
The people that hold you up during the hard days. I turned 51 in April. My body showing remnants of the sunshine that showned down on me all these years. The wrinkles lining my lips. The RBF I have if I'm dwelling or concentrating on something. The tired eyes from some sleepless nights. The tap on my shoulder at times about how we tend to drink more the older we get because "we're not here for a long time just a good time" but then you feel like shit the next day for any action that was caused by said drinking.
This is life, right?
I hope you're all doin' okay and that whatever you choose in this life makes you happy or at least some what justifiable lol. Politics. Health. Vaccine choice. Or not. Friends you've had to let a loose grip on because things just don't pair up. Family you've held on loosely too, for that same reason.
Vibes from people that serve you no good.
My oldest birdie doin' okay out in the desert. Passed his NMLS board test. A license to sling mortgages now. Prepping his resume for the next steps. Driving boats, launching boats and slingling what he can to make it all work. Mostly to continue to heal from the dusty hell launched road he went down.
My youngest birdie doing the same. Working hard and climbing her corporate ladder. She passed the same test with a score just a couple digits under her big bro. The only reason I mention this is because I just find it funny how they'd both end up studying for Mortgage Loan stuff...
She took in a kitten in October,"Beau" or Beaubie....or bo-bo....Funniest, loudest crazy little boy- only to fight for his life in June. A traumatic few weeks that went sideways fast. Her dad would go over in the mornings and evenings to give him a shot that was so traumatically painful. Whatever it took, we did. He died a week before her 25th birthday. She's still healing and as she said "I don't think anyone knows just how hard this is mom"
Oh, I know....and some folks will say....it's just a cat. Or it's just a dog. It's not. It's family. It's love.
It's sleepless nights nurturing them to survive, to soon fight to keep them alive.
So stay tuned kids. I'll be jumpin back in- We've been having quite a fun summer. A few trips to Cabo, some trips back and forth to our lake house. Dinners with friends, bands across the street in Taco Surf with a reunion like feel of our local buddies.
Life is good.
See?
Before we leave Cabo where we're blessed to have friends like Paul and Mary who treat us like family- A Covid-Schmovid test is mandatory. We're lucky enough to have the doctor come to their house and slide that pokie little smokey up our nostrils to our brains. EW.
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