This past Thanksgiving day I was reminded of just how special it was 5 years ago. I made little posters. Representing words that I felt. News to relay to the world. A donor was found for our son. We knew he was from Germany. Actually, at first, we were just told Europe.
I woke early that morning to make these little posters so that we could make a video. That particular morning we'd be hosting Jen's parents Jeff and Renee. Between Tori, my sister, Jen, Jeff and Renee we knew it would be extra special.
Bucky was with us. This Thanksgiving I scrolled through those posters. Reminiscing on those no longer with us. And remembering Jen and all she did to care for him through the worst time of his life.
I can't believe we're peeking at 5 years, and then again I can. The road to get where we are today has been anything but easy. I still wake almost every single night with the memories. The torture that beast laid down on our family. My son most especially. The nightmare it was. It is. It will never go away.
But we celebrate all the victories now. Posters. Pictures. Videos that are extremely hard for me to watch. I literally get a knot in my stomach when I see pictures of those days in the hospital. They worked so hard to keep him alive. And yet I was numb. Running on nervous energy 24 hours a day.
5 years is January 13, 2021. 5 years we had an original Admit date of December 24th. All the prep would never prepare a family for what was about to take place.
And yet here we are. 5 years, you guys. FIVE.
They were taking him down 3 times a day to radiation. He was basically being put into a microwave.
I was watching my baby burn from the inside out. Like, what the actual fuck on Earth are we called to be so tortured.
Because of HOPE?
That's all I had.
That is all I had.
That is all I ever have.
HOPE.
And lots of triggers and PTSD. I know he does too, but we all just navigate through the best we can.
My sweet Kali deals with anxieties and issues daily that I know stem from some of what she watched.
Heartbreaking.
And yet, 5 years. You guys, he's alive.
And able.
And navigating.
And loving.
And being kind.
And learning.
And searching.
And pushing through.
Thanksgiving 2020 was beautiful.
Very different from years past, but so full of happy moments and love.
Kali and I cooked up a storm.
Heart was full.
We miss Jeff. We miss Jen. We love Renee.
We climbed such big mountains together.
So much changed in these 5 years.
Jeff and Bucky have left Earth.
Jen lives in Australia.
Kris has found the sweetest of all....Alexis "Lexi" whom we love!
It's been a hard year, but we have to believe that 2021 will be better. A good place to begin is with HOPE.
There are two ways to be: Kind and respectful. A basic rule, per say...."One Rule", two words. BE KIND.
Not everyone will have our same beliefs. Not everyone will like us. Not everyone will be on our side. Or their side.
But kindness most definitely helps.
The mission in life is not merely to survive, as Maya Angelou said, "but to thrive, and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor and some style"-
It's not about who you voted for. Or what religion you follow.
It's a notion to make another feel good.
Taking into consideration what others have gone through. What others have been handed.
I HOPE and pray I can be around long enough to see this horrible virus get under control. I HOPE I can see my son and daughter flourish.
To my friends and family in the thick of grief because of all the changes this year....
Hang tough.
Life is delicate and oh, so fast.
In case you're wondering how Kali's rescue is doing?
Just fine.
I hope you all feel lightheartedness, love and good cheer during this month.
Of peace on Earth, human kindness and decency...wherever you may go.
Go in PEACE.
Because time flies......But not really.
Love and PEACE.
Most of all, HOPE.
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