Mic Check.

Well hello you little sugars!

How ya doin this month so far?

Getting used to le' masks or battling the control over it all...?

I sway back and forth.  I've been navigating scary viruses for many years now, and on top of being a germaphobe I can't understand the whole mask thing.  Especially while driving in a car.  I just don't get it. 

I like my freedom.  It's true, it does protect others if you're carrying the virus, but if you're in your car alone...stop. 

ANYWAY....

That's my opinion and my thoughts are pretty deep on this whole 2020.  What a fucking year it's been. 

2020--Am I right?

May was a beautiful month celebrating our bebe birdie Kali.  Along with my bestie. June came along and we landed into another birthday for another bestie Rox, my dad and my aunt Ronda.  

I've been purging things.  Sorting pictures.  Is it just me or do you find yourself challenged with keeping heirlooms that we think will mean something to the kids later, but find out that she/he doesn't care about their Kindergarten graduation cover. I've sat sorting through oodles and oodles of old pictures.  Pictures of my early 20's.  Pictures of people that have left this Earth.  I've stared at my mother in law "Bom", a woman that loved me and took me in at the ripe age of 17.  She's gone from this Earth now and so many times I wish I could share with her all that's gone on with her prize grandson.  I wish I could pick up the phone and talk to some of those that have passed on.  It's the reality of what we should have done back when we were supposed to, but "didn't find the time".  

Sure I was working hard, taking care of my birdies, traveling around in soccer clubs and doing all I could to donate myself for my birdies.  

And yet the regret. 

The other morning as I was waking up and sorting this new life and what lies ahead I realized that the last 15 years or so I have been a walking zombie.  A tad bit numb, if you will. 

Crazy. 

I told Bill that I wonder if those elders around me worry about the things we worry about in our 40's and 50's.  

This life is a constant juggle of happy, sad, scared and anxiety.  

Best friends, lovers and wine surely help but the reality of life is treacherous waters.  It's like a calm sea one moment to find yourself wading in huge waves. 

Add in this stupid virus.  Riots (assholes) and looting (bigger assholes) and you find yourself on the brink of a breakdown. 

I share with you our month of May.  And some of June. 

Grateful for all we've worked for.  Grateful for a partner that gets me.  I get him.  I stare across at him at some of the most simple days and nights and am forever filled with gratitude that we get this chance to love one another.  

In the midst of all the bullshiz that he navigated through this last year, we're forever lucky to have best friends.  The six pack.  The family that we do have. And two of the best kids we've been able to love. 

Without further adieu, here's May!

 I love you.  Not just to the moon and back.  It's beyond that.  Hardest working man I know.  In more ways than business, you take such good care of everything you created.  

 I love my best friends. Happy Birthday Maria! 

 First drinks in a restaurant - 320 Seal Beach May 2020- Worth noting.  Kick ass too! 

Morning walks lake side....

 The Office 

 Most handsome man in all the land. 

 Fox's Parker 2020

 Back to my juice bar in Seal Beach 

Our front entry- Little did we know the memories we'd make.....

And one for the road....

 My sister said it best.  He was and is the sweetest of souls.  Excuse me while I dig on through box and after box of memories.  Incredible.  Quietly, peacefully accepting all a mother endures.  What she offers. What she messed up. What she tried.  What worked. What didn't work. 

Memories. 

Letting go and purging all the memories that serve no further purpose. 

Cleanse. 

Let them go.  

Make new ones. 

Don't look back. 

Just love those that you need to. 

Smile at a stranger. Even with your silly mask on.  They can see your eyes.  

Thank a server.  Thank an officer.  

Keep on keepin on. 

Stay away from the ugly folks.  They're out there. Trust me.  I've smelt that sauce a long time ago.  Just takes a while for the colors to show.  Eventually they do.  

Peace!

This Mama Lisa