Thursday Thoughts From Mama.

Another night of lying awake last night. 

Dreaming.

Praying. 

Searching. 

Wishing.

Most of all, I laid there thinking.  Really deep thoughts. 

How one moment things can roll so smoothly, and the next moment a phone call can change the direction of the sailboat.  The motherhood poetry we all live to tell.  Hopefully we are here and able to do so. 

How I am forever a different human.

A different mom.

A different warrior.

How we teach our children to get up and make a difference each and every day.  Whether that'd be work, finances, sports, education and or the tasks of taking care of things.

How, although we yearn to teach them the difference in monetary versus just living to be happy is a fine line. 

We can lose that child in a minute.  Or a few years.  Or we can outlive them with hopes to see their future blossom and grow. 

My wish is to teach my kids that new cars get old.  That a newly redirected home, will in fact fall back out of "style"-  Keep their focus on living a good meaningful life. 

What I yearn for every single day of my life is to just see my kids healthy and alive.  To be strong enough to conquer their fears and the anxiety they suffer through in these years of adulthood. 

The season of this century to "fit in"-  The status of what you have or what you don't have.

To see through monetary and look for manners.  And kindness.  To see how they treat humans, not THINGS. 

I had dinner with one of my best friends last night.  Something I always love to do.  Sitting quietly with them one on one sharing our life.  Sharing our fears.  Sure we clink drinks and laugh.  But we also share tears and worry.  How things can change in a heartbeat. 

Bill and I watched the Country Music awards and I couldn't help but get so emotional watching those beautiful talented people.

The rich and famous and yet they all have fears and insecurities too.  What they share with us gives us joy.  They give me chills while I sing heading home from work.  Sometimes tears, but, hey that's Lisa for ya. 

I pray that my kids remember the grass ISN'T greener on the other side.  But showing up each day giving it your best will help you live more comfortably.  Not so much monetarily, but your worthwhile. 

You know what I love about this picture?

They're the offspring of 4 Best Friends.  LOVE.

Both of my birdies get anxious.  They get it from their mama.  But their anxiousness offers tenacity. 

A daughter navigating through a corporate environment where her numbers matter.  Her smile matters the moment she walks into their morning meetings.  Not a chance to slack.  It's not why they hired her.  Maybe this isn't for her? Maybe it is.  Maybe it plows like a snow plow, for success.  Maybe it shows her that hard work does pay.  OR...........maybe she'll decide something else works better for her. 

My son, who after almost 3 weeks of being sick still gets up every morning to work.  To show up. 

He walks like a baby deer for a couple weeks after a sickness tackles him down.  His legs grow weak.  But his soul is UNBREAKABLE. 

Their strength. 

Them.

I prayed all night last night.  For many things I can't share here. I'm sure you all know my prayers.

May you all get up and do what you can to make a difference. 

Monetary makes evil.  It makes sadness and grief.  It makes happy moments, that soon fade with time. 

It breaks families apart. 

Loose ends that fray even more.

A new car gets old.

New paint fades.

Take those that love you for what they are.  Love them back. Hard.

Tell your birdies just how great they are. 

The rest will fall into place.

At least, that's one of my prayers.

This morning at 5:45am, as I walked to the kitchen I could see Bill making his coffee at a dimly lit counter, I smiled inside. 

Through all the storms, through all the changes.  In grief, happiness, laughter, tears and change.

I'm so grateful we have one another. 

Not sure how I'd get through all the storms.

This week I stepped into Kris' favorite Mexican restaurant to take him his favorite burrito (that destroyed his stomach by morning, outbound no bueno LOL ehhgh-my bad) But Chris the owner knows us.  She knows what to make him.  She also knows when I drive over there (way outta our way, but who cares) she adds her extra love for him.  We are team #putweightbackon

Before walking out that evening, she hugged me and put a tiny rubber bracelet on my wrist and said "Give this to Kris for me"

It says GODS GOT YOU- 

He's wearing it today.

It's my biggest prayer.  For peace in his heart.  In mine.  In my littlest birdies heart.

And to Bill. To the man that built so much.  For everyone.  For us. 

Wishing you all a beautiful Thursday.  Happy FRIDAY EVE!

I'm wearing the rubber orange bracelet made for Kris back in 2015.
I've thrown every.single.one. away.
Sad truth, it breaks me to see that memory.

This Mama Lisa

Words written to my children to reflect on how I feel at the end of 2019.....

Stay strong, and stay true. 

 Mama is always here.  Until the end of our time. 

One of my favorite Christian songs....

How Great Thou Art