Words To The Wise.

"Don't buy things you can't afford, with money you don't have, to impress people you don't like"

This Mama Lisa

Through It All.

This is when your shorts hit your bra era.  Get. It.  Girl. 

And pictures.

Oh, the pictures....

This Mama Lisa

A Grateful Week.

Can you believe we've entered Thanksgiving week?  

What are you grateful for? 

 Good food?  Good wine?  Good friends?  

As for me and my soul, all of the above. 

Praying for healthy kids.  Happy moments.  And most of all, peace.   PEACE.

Safe travels to those heading out on the road.  Us Southern California folk aren't used to cold temps and rainy roads.  Give yourself time, patience and most of all, pray.  

ps-  I love the table setting above, but is it just me and my silly-self....where do you put the food?  And golly gee willikers, don't let the candles get too close to that twine.  LOL!!!!!!

Kay, bye. 

Love,

This Mama Lisa

Saturday Smiles.

I've always loved Mary Engelbreit.  Her illustrations always make me smile.

Nikki, if you see this, I hope you smile too-

Happy Saturday Friends!

Here's a yummy recipe to try!

Cranberry Brie Puffs!

As for me and my hands, I'll be making some batches of enchiladas.  For us, and some trays for my babies...

Love,

Lisa Lynn

And We Made It....

WE MADE IT TO FRIDAY KIDS! 

If you wanna know what songs fire me up on a Friday ride home from work after a long week....

Here ya go!

Ready For LOVE - Bad Company-


Silver Blue And Gold


Twice As Hard- Black Crowes


Thunderstruck AC DC- Best JAM for FRIDAY!     THEE Best one for Friday! Rock out with yo cawk out- wait what?!  HAHAHAHA!   jusss kidding...  not really but you know kinda. LOL

Have a good weekend....stop and smell the roses.  And if you can't do that, well then light yo-self a good candle at home, curl up and sip hot coffee for a tadbit longer!

Remember, some are fighting to stay alive, and some aren't here.  So soak up the weekend with gratitude!  

Love and Laughter,

This Mama Lisa

XOXO

Because Of You.

We've never shared vows.

We've never walked down an aisle with friends and family cheering us on.

We've never stared across from one another as we promised all that we promised.

We've only danced to our favorite song meant for the us on a crowded dance floor.

We've never had the "first look" moment, or even the final walk down the aisle in awe.

We've never jetsetted off for a honeymoon to seal the deal.

Even though he knows I've always dreamed of a fairy-tale proposal and beautiful Lisa styled wedding dress.  That shit ship sailed long ago.  LOL   no, really.  LOL with a crooked smile emoji inserted.
whatev.  WHATEV.

I spy my cousin Danielle - love you little one....xo

We have stood across from the other with acknowledgement of where we're headed, together.


We have kissed eachother on the forehead during hard moments.


We have held on to eachother in hospital rooms and hallways.


We have laid in the still of the night with no words, just tight held hands. Clammy held hands.


We have cried hard together.  And we've laughed harder together.


We have witnessed the unfathomable in all angles of this life.  Together.


I'm lucky to ride all the waves with you.  Even the big scary ones.


When we said we loved each other all those years back. We've held on for dear life to prove it over and over.  And over again.


Forever.


Because of you I grew stronger wings.


A sharper tongue at times, lol, but you know what I mean.


Warriors for life--


I love you.  I LOVE YOU.  

You da man.

You're the only one who's never failed me.


Leese  aka MAMA and your wing man.



Plus you have the cutest ears in all the land. boom

Finding Old Tokens.

A bad habit of mine is clearing counters tops and shoving things into drawers.  I also clean before the cleaning lady.  Something that drives Kris absolutely crazy.  Wandering into his bedroom with this plastic bag I thought was more cactus seeds.  On the verge of shoving it into one of his drawers. 

Instead, I opened it up. 

The bag was filled with pictures their biological father was given the day I packed his belongings. Not before calling his father to come and take him away. He needed help. For many years I've been saturated with denial over the pain that chapter provided me.  Kris.  And Mike.  Kali was too little, and yet she has such fond memories with him.  And of him. Some really good, and some not really good. Nonetheless, he was a human that made mistakes -  Like all of us. 

I still stand confident in my truth of why I made him leave.  I had to. Years and years of watching the cycle in my own home, to be walking the days and nights with the same unhealthy relationship.  

It was time to stop the madness.

This is where my strength benefited all of us. 

Still wonder how I got through some of those first few months, and years. 

Nighttime being the absolute hardest. 

Still glad I trusted myself and my gut to make a change.  To shift the cycle for something better for me.  For us.  

Not sure if I emotionally screwed my babies up for life, but at the time I had to push the illness away.

I sat on Kris' bed and was lost in memory. 

Staring down at this. 

August 17, 1989

A chapter filled with beauty.  And fear.  And experience.  And curve balls.  And love.

A baby we dove in head first to.  My fear turned into action.  My action turned into full blown protection.  Protection turned into my little buddy.  

My first car.  Isuzu Trooper.  Stick shift, LOVED that little red beast!

My little partner in bike rides.  Beach days. Camping trips. (ended my career in camping, don't worry, no bueno for me).  We hunted for lizards, snakes and polly wogs.  We searched high and low for all things creatures.  We read tons of books together.  ( A reason I believe he's so intelligent!) 

We laughed together, and I whip him into place when he got out of line.  If someone hurt him, they'd better run, because my protection button was easily pushed. 

My decision to split our family into pieces was the healthiest choice. 

From addiction. 

From alcholism. 

Both of those created awful antics.

From many things us humans endure while walking the path with an addict. 

Mike is no longer on this Earth.  I think of him often.  Years of respect, and at times I wish I could just call him.  I wish I could share good news, bad news and changes they've both endured. 

I can't.  

He's gone. 

We've all moved along in life.  They accepted wholeheartedly the Dad they knew. And fell into love with the dad they know now.  The man that showed up.  The man that wiped tears, and cleaned boo-boo's, and sat through holiday school programs. lol.  Soccer games, and surf comps.  He's filled in gaps without the instinctual traits. 

Mike would have. 

Mike DID in Kris' younger years.  They'd hunt for lizards, and snakes, and he'd take him on adventures.  He worked hard for his little family.  But the wickedness of that battle got the best of him. 

It's a disease no one can fully wrap their head around.

You see it.

I see it. 

We all see the cycles, over and over again. 

There's a legacy left behind from Mike.  The fingers on Kali's hands.  Her eyebrows.  Kris is a replica of him.  I see parts of him in them, and yet I stay silent. 

Opinions of others was never my jam.  Even when family members ultimately decided their belief of me was what they believed, and no one could change that. 

I knew my truth.  Afterall, I lived in it. I lived through some pretty wild days,  months and years. 

A giver at heart, mixed with co-dependent human that knew no different. 

My post isn't to shame anyone.  It's not to make any one person look better than the other. 

It is about life. 

The misfits that eventually fit in.

The pain unintentionally sprayed through the air.

From me to him, from him to me. 

Things will not always be perfect. 

Sometimes others need to see that you can make it through. 

You can pick up the shattered millions of pieces and put them back together. 

They'll show cracks.  They'll show pain.  They'll show moments of despair in your kids when you just know your decision jacked them up at certain points. 

But you take the good with the bad and you keep on moving. 

And you make sure that you are trying your best.  Giving the two little humans that didn't ask to be brought into this world, a better place.

That was always my plan. 

To love them. 

To provide for them.

And to make things better. 

With love and hope,

This Mama Lisa 

Among the rest of the pictures that were once owned by Mike, were his most favorite dog Bubba, his motorcycle.  Our many VW's, and lots of camping pictures.  

Mike, I hope you are peaceful in Heaven with your bride Theresa.  I think of you two often. 

The kids are doing fine....

I think so. 

Even when the clouds come over and fear grabs us by our neck.  We still keep moving.  In your memory, we will. 

Back In The Saddle.

Raise your hand if you indulged in too much fun last weekend?

HAND.IN.THE.AIR.

Talk about the Monday cobwebs.  Good lawrrrrrdd.

At one point while driving in I considered giving up on my good friend. "WINE"

Maybe it's time to do like a Dry November. 

And then I thought.....

YOU KNOW WHAT? 

It's these people we wrap our arms around that make the wine headache-lack-of-sleep worth it!

So a quick AUTOCORRECT- 

Save the wine!

Live the life you love, love the life you live!

Friendsgiving 2019   8 PACK!  Friday Night 

We worked Saturday....wahhh wahhh 

Sunday was a peddle down to the pier.  

The warmest day in November on record at the beach. 

91 by noon.

A crowd that looked similar to a June or July day-

Shortly after this sunset picture we should've pumped the brakes and went on home..... 

But NOOOOOOO....Because the way our silly goose vibe was rolling out.... It was on to the NEXT BAR---- DUH!

Our lives are better because you're in it.  

Even though we hurt bad yesterday!

Thanks for the laughter, love and most of all...good times!

Now back to my normal schedule.  Yesterday was a blurrrrr...

Cheers!

Happy Taco Tuesday!

Dig deep and gettirrrrr done.....

Love,

This Mama Lisa

Sunday Words.

Blossom for you, right here, right now....

Happy Week To You!

"If you see something beautiful in someone, speak it"

Love,

Lisa Lynn

Getting Through Friday Like...

Vrrrooooommmmm.....

Greatest boat in all the lakes and certainly a KING of the ocean!

I hope you all have a great weekend.

Here's a heart stopping recipe. jk 

Sounds like it'd make for some good beef sandwiches, or even better, tacos!

That stick of butter...LOL- Go big or go home. Or stay home. HA! 

Big Love,

This Mama Lisa

Or as Carmen calls me....LAYYYYSA--

Go have some fun....

Save the important stuff for Monday.

Or as Kali and I say....Mondeeeeeeeeee

P.E.A.C.E.  O.U.T. 

Thursday Thoughts From Mama.

Another night of lying awake last night. 

Dreaming.

Praying. 

Searching. 

Wishing.

Most of all, I laid there thinking.  Really deep thoughts. 

How one moment things can roll so smoothly, and the next moment a phone call can change the direction of the sailboat.  The motherhood poetry we all live to tell.  Hopefully we are here and able to do so. 

How I am forever a different human.

A different mom.

A different warrior.

How we teach our children to get up and make a difference each and every day.  Whether that'd be work, finances, sports, education and or the tasks of taking care of things.

How, although we yearn to teach them the difference in monetary versus just living to be happy is a fine line. 

We can lose that child in a minute.  Or a few years.  Or we can outlive them with hopes to see their future blossom and grow. 

My wish is to teach my kids that new cars get old.  That a newly redirected home, will in fact fall back out of "style"-  Keep their focus on living a good meaningful life. 

What I yearn for every single day of my life is to just see my kids healthy and alive.  To be strong enough to conquer their fears and the anxiety they suffer through in these years of adulthood. 

The season of this century to "fit in"-  The status of what you have or what you don't have.

To see through monetary and look for manners.  And kindness.  To see how they treat humans, not THINGS. 

I had dinner with one of my best friends last night.  Something I always love to do.  Sitting quietly with them one on one sharing our life.  Sharing our fears.  Sure we clink drinks and laugh.  But we also share tears and worry.  How things can change in a heartbeat. 

Bill and I watched the Country Music awards and I couldn't help but get so emotional watching those beautiful talented people.

The rich and famous and yet they all have fears and insecurities too.  What they share with us gives us joy.  They give me chills while I sing heading home from work.  Sometimes tears, but, hey that's Lisa for ya. 

I pray that my kids remember the grass ISN'T greener on the other side.  But showing up each day giving it your best will help you live more comfortably.  Not so much monetarily, but your worthwhile. 

You know what I love about this picture?

They're the offspring of 4 Best Friends.  LOVE.

Both of my birdies get anxious.  They get it from their mama.  But their anxiousness offers tenacity. 

A daughter navigating through a corporate environment where her numbers matter.  Her smile matters the moment she walks into their morning meetings.  Not a chance to slack.  It's not why they hired her.  Maybe this isn't for her? Maybe it is.  Maybe it plows like a snow plow, for success.  Maybe it shows her that hard work does pay.  OR...........maybe she'll decide something else works better for her. 

My son, who after almost 3 weeks of being sick still gets up every morning to work.  To show up. 

He walks like a baby deer for a couple weeks after a sickness tackles him down.  His legs grow weak.  But his soul is UNBREAKABLE. 

Their strength. 

Them.

I prayed all night last night.  For many things I can't share here. I'm sure you all know my prayers.

May you all get up and do what you can to make a difference. 

Monetary makes evil.  It makes sadness and grief.  It makes happy moments, that soon fade with time. 

It breaks families apart. 

Loose ends that fray even more.

A new car gets old.

New paint fades.

Take those that love you for what they are.  Love them back. Hard.

Tell your birdies just how great they are. 

The rest will fall into place.

At least, that's one of my prayers.

This morning at 5:45am, as I walked to the kitchen I could see Bill making his coffee at a dimly lit counter, I smiled inside. 

Through all the storms, through all the changes.  In grief, happiness, laughter, tears and change.

I'm so grateful we have one another. 

Not sure how I'd get through all the storms.

This week I stepped into Kris' favorite Mexican restaurant to take him his favorite burrito (that destroyed his stomach by morning, outbound no bueno LOL ehhgh-my bad) But Chris the owner knows us.  She knows what to make him.  She also knows when I drive over there (way outta our way, but who cares) she adds her extra love for him.  We are team #putweightbackon

Before walking out that evening, she hugged me and put a tiny rubber bracelet on my wrist and said "Give this to Kris for me"

It says GODS GOT YOU- 

He's wearing it today.

It's my biggest prayer.  For peace in his heart.  In mine.  In my littlest birdies heart.

And to Bill. To the man that built so much.  For everyone.  For us. 

Wishing you all a beautiful Thursday.  Happy FRIDAY EVE!

I'm wearing the rubber orange bracelet made for Kris back in 2015.
I've thrown every.single.one. away.
Sad truth, it breaks me to see that memory.

This Mama Lisa

Words written to my children to reflect on how I feel at the end of 2019.....

Stay strong, and stay true. 

 Mama is always here.  Until the end of our time. 

One of my favorite Christian songs....

How Great Thou Art

Celebrating LOVE.

Last weekend we packed the truck to the brim with all things "Glamping" and headed to the hills of Santa Barbara. 

A beautiful wedding weekend for ...

-Mr & Mrs CJ and Emmy Jacobs-

Here to be exact-

El Capitan Canyon

The sweetness of our cabin was located next door to my bestie and good friends all around us. 

Maria and Bert to our right and Jane and John to our left. 

A cabin over from that was Anna Maria and Jerry.

Saturday morning was a Llama hike.  Once we arrived down to the little gathering area, we would find the rest of our friends.  Minus Shelley and the wedding crew.

There was a moment I stood back from this bench and was so stoked to see our group all together.

This group of parents and young adults that have navigated through middle, high school and college together.

Cheering with our coffee cups.

Some walking to see Llama's.  And some tucking away into a different area.

Like Bill and I that ventured over to Santa Barbara Pier to have lunch at our favorite little spot 

Brophy Bros. 

The wedding was nothing short of amazing.

Their words written to one another will forever make me smile each time I see them.

Glamping is the way to go kids!

Soon as I get my act together- (hello zombie full moon week) I'll post more pictures.

Shelley, John and the entire Beck family did a FANTASTIC time bringing this dream of their kids to real life.

A real honor to be in their presence....

Hope your week is treating you ok...

How's your sleep been with this Full Moon?

Hang tough kids...hang tough.

Smile through the madness and or sadness!

Love,

This Mama Lisa

Home Stretch.

What a week.

I don't say that with sarcasm.  I say that with heartfelt exhaustion. 

Maybe it's my body speaking to me. 

Maybe it's the years of keeping my chin up and shoulders back.

Maybe it's being the manager of the family unit. 

And manager of the business front. 

Maybe it's rising early (super early) and tossing and turning all night long. 

Maybe it's the fucking stupid foam mattress I bought a few months ago that sucks.

Maybe it's age.

Maybe it's cold in the mornings and cold at my desk.

Maybe all I yearn for is a hot bath filled with bubbles.  ha.

Maybe I want it all to end, and yet I really don't.

Maybe the shift of change is speaking to me through mental and physical. 

I do know this---

Hard work pays, so keep on pushing through. 

GET UP and GO!

Hope you all have a great weekend doing what makes you happy-

If you can't choose you first,  you won't be able to make others happy.

Can I get a womp-womp!

This Mama Lisa

We'll watch this fine girl be a MOTHER-OF-THE-GROOM in Santa Barbara this weekend!  Can't wait Shelley! 

 CJ + Emmy 2019

Show Up.

As hard as it is to just show up.  Keep on going. 

Rest will come. 

You CAN do hard things-

Love,

This Mama Lisa

Happy Birthday Vicki!

May you stay safe, healthy and full of peace for many, many more-

xo

Happy Birthday Tori-Lynn!

Happy Birthday to the most beautiful niece in the world.  I always relive your birthday starting on Halloween. How big mama's belly was and just how ready she and your daddy were.  When I got that call at 10pm that night, I thought...no way is she going to be born on Halloween!

We drove to the hospital on Halloween night, stepping into what would be a very long night.

Funny to remember back when your mama wanted me to pull over every time another contraction would roll in.  "Lisa, pull over, I can't"-- HAHA!

The next morning just after 11:00 am, and lots of hard work for your mama, you were born.  With the most beautiful eyes, lonnngggg fingers and a wimper that made your auntie cry!  Such a sweet pea.

Tori, I hope you stay safe.  My prayer for you is good health.  Good folks to surround you.  And peace in your heart.  Always peace.

Happy 24th!  How is it that I am typing TWENTY FOUR.  

I love you Tori Lynn--

Auntie Lisa & Uncle Billy

XOXOXOXOXOXO