Peace & Love: Just Keep Swimming

***Fair warning- I don't have a tidy bow for this post.

Because I'm being a drama queen, I started this post on Tuesday. We're at the end of Thursday and I'm just posting. #crybaby

I try to expose our real life here. And most of the time it looks pretty good. And MOST of the time it feels pretty good. Because in real true reality, after all we've been through, most of the petty stuff is just mediocre bullshit I let roll off. So our life is amazing, considering.

Lately though, I am at the boiling point like a teapot. Bill, and both kids will tell ya when mama is not happy, the world around her is not happy.

Lisa, The Teapot.

I've always preached to others about avoiding the envious game while watching others enjoy the good things in this life. The sights and sounds of summer. I will always root for those around me out and about enjoying all the beautiful things this life offers. Lately I am completely feeling the envy while watching others take vacations. Not even elaborate vacations, (because we really never do-far away travels aren't our gig) but just to----

"Get away"-

Getting away to me is sitting in this pool above. No schedules. With no where to be. No one to answer to. No calls to make. No papers to shuffle. No customer to ease. No payments to be made. No responsibilities to care for. No cooking. No cleaning. Just to be still.
To put our juggling balls down. ~~{Thats.what.she.said}~~

I don't even sleep in.

I just need a change of space.
We both do.

And lately, I am missing a break.

I am tired.

I cried at work.*insert crybaby emoji- Our air conditioning is broke at the shop. *insert bigger crybaby face.

Anyone in the Southern California area this last week will tell you, the humidity and heat have been no joke. Ya I am thankful for the fans. Ya I am thankful to be alive. Ya, yaddity yaaaa yaaaa.

Don't get me wrong, I love the life I live. After all, I can remember a couple years back wondering just how much more I could see or take.

But lately?

Suck.

I try to regroup my thoughts.

My self talk is horrendous.
Maybe borderline freakish.

Perspective. That word I lose a firm grip of often.

And so.

I keep swimming.

And yet...

My first text ~~yesterday~~ (Tuesday) morning was with a friend (I'll call her friend, even though I haven't personally hugged her yet, just keeping in close touch by text)- She's admitting into City Of Hope just like we did. She's of Korean decent and just recently was told she has a donor (which is a huge miracle). She has the same type of leukemia that we fought, and if she doesn't have a transplant, she will not live. Monday was her long orientation day at COH. She has a slurry of questions each day. All of which are so familiar. All of which I promised to help answer. I can remember those days like they were yesterday. Such the unknown. Her biggest fear is radiation. Part of me doesn't want to be honest with her, and so I only share the tidbits that I know will be helpful. Also, each body receives things differently. She went on to ask if they had yoga and classes to take at good ol' City Of Hope.
Parts of me wanted to be brutally honest with her and lay that shit out, but the other part of me said, no Lisa, let her feel like yoga might be involved. Let's let her experience roll out the way God intends for it to roll out. Let's let things happen organically for them. For her.

Perspective.

She's a mother to two young girls. 8 and 12. I can only imagine the thoughts flooding her on the daily. I fought for my son, and yet she's fighting for her girls. And husband.

She's scared. She's curious. She's ready.

I stepped out of my car after fielding answers back to her. Mostly filled with HOPE. And encouraging words that I know she needs so bad right now.

All of my little worries getting tossed into my trunk as I came into my office to start my day.

And yet, here I am.

Knowing full well I will read back on this post someday and think..shit Lisa, you sound like those people on Facebook that complain alldayeveryday and bathe in the reassurance.

I am not.
LOL!
I know life's pendulum will swing.

Pity Partayy----

Ya with me?

Tired?

Hot?

Frustrated and tired of busting ass. Tired of watching the lazy ones in society take advantage of our system? Tired of the daily ins-n-out just trying to make ends meet?

Me too.

Sink or swim, right?

Hope you can keep swimming.

After all, we really have no choice.

Right?

Keep grinding kids.

Especially you Lisa Lynn.

Sorry I was in lala land for the last 2 weeks.

Just werkin', pushin biznass, and sipping wine with those I adore!