Firm Grip On HOPE.

Are you feeling the first tidbits of Spring?

 I sure am. 

I've longed to get through the dark days of winter.  Although winter isn't over yet, I sure do yearn for spring.  It's always been my favorite season.  Summer offers flip flops and long good nights, but there's something about the newness and fresh beginnings.  Whether it's new bird nests, or buds of flowers on the trees.  Green grass and just better days overall. 

Driving home from work in the dark is just so depressing...

Getting ready with the gloom lurking through the windows every morning even more so...

Just all of it...

I felt a shift of change last night. 

Watching the beautiful sunset before arriving home.  The warmth in my car.

The beautiful birds chirping this morning. 

Last night I received a text from my oldest birdie. 

Of this. 

What looks to us as  "veggies on a rack" is something way more than that. 

Kris hasn't had the most common energy, much less, the physical ability (wrists don't bend like ours do) to do much.  

I can just imagine the feeling Jen had when she walked up their stairs to see this. 

I'm picking up his second batch of new meds tmrw morning.  One that costs $400.00 a pill.

A pill. 

One pill.

Our cost is $200.00 for two weeks. 

Yes he pays private insurance with Kaiser. 

The reason he is alive today.

He's been with them since 1989.

Although his monthly dues are quite high, I can't imagine the folks that pay close to 12k a month.

Silver linings....

I feel like it's working. 

This little reminder to me that even when the dark clouds, and dark cold scary mornings rolled over us, that springtime, and hopefully better days lie ahead.

We so quickly sprint past the opportunity to just be grateful for the little things.  Moments like these of nurturing a vegetable in little pots by your window because you can.  Or the mom that receives the text of this, as just the most beautiful thing she's seen this month.  

It's truly the little things.  Holding on to HOPE.

To my prayer warriors out there. Whether you pray, or you just toss good juju's out into the atmosphere.  We need HOPE.

Bill's brother is in the fighting ring with the jerk Cancer.  An aggressive one.

We know all too well what will form ahead. 

I did my research last night.  Wondering how I can help.  

I cried for them on my way home.

I sat on my bed researching this type of cancer.

How can I help. 

HOW?????

And really.....

Those first days of finding out something so terrible. 

You let the dust settle. 

And then you begin to fight. 

For them.

With them.

Along side them

And far away.

For me....?  For me.....I pray.  

And I research.  And read.  Putting my nose right in the face of fuckingcancer, and then backing away when fear stretches over my body. 

Please keep Rick in your prayers, juju, karma filters, thoughts, hugs, love and wishes.

He's gonna need it.

So will the rest of the family.

I hope you remind yourself today, tomorrow and the rest of your days....that we are all lucky to just have another day.  Alive.  Not fighting.  Not in a hospital bed. Not staring at the face of a doctor as he or she explains news to you that you would never want to hear. 

Be grateful.

For sunshine. For fresh vegetable plants.  For today.

Some don't get this chance.

Keep a firm grip on HOPE friends.

YOU WE ALL NEED IT.

Love,

This Mama Warrior Lisa

The Title Of Mother, To A Daughter.

Last week I posted this picture to social media and the minute I hit "POST" I kinda feared the reaction from both kids.  Of course, the normal hahaha's came out, and then Kali texted me with the comment about her chubby cheeks.  My first thought was "mama's milk".  What I find so beautiful in pictures from the past is the realness of how we started.  The beginning days with her.  Still confused on the whole baby thing "again" and really on my own "again" 

I'd field questions to my mom with hopes she'd remember.  She didn't. 

Nursing wasn't a popular thing back in the 70's.  Or so she says.  They'd get shots to "dry up".  Which I find ironic and a bit true in the bond that was missed between her and I.  It doesn't surprise me one bit how much I tend to stick to Kris and Kali like glue. 

As they say, we generally do the opposite of what we've been offered. 

Or so we hope. 

Kali's career path is closer than what she's probably expecting, and this morning as I was coating my face with coconut lotion there were so many emotions stirring in me. 

Does she realize what is about to happen?

Does she see a clear path?

Does she have clear dreams?

Does she know what she REALLY wants?

Does she know just how challenging this big world is?

Does she see beauty in simple things?

Does she know that pain and hurt make a woman a more beautiful human?

Does she know what she'll endure in motherhood?

Does she know what it takes to be a bride?

Does she know how to manage money?

Does she know how to save?

Does she know that being frugal is better than showing off things that don't really matter?

Does she know how beautiful it is to breastfeed?

To give birth?

Does she know just how fast this life is?

I mean, really.....really??

Does she know the big path that lie ahead?

I stare at this picture, and although I can see freckles. And dimples. And little chubby arms, and little skinny arms of a little guy.  I see a brother holding onto a sister.  Not knowing the path each would take.  Or endure.

I see the seriousness in his face because he truly wasn't a huge fan of hers in those beginning days.

This little dude had mama wrapped around his fingers.

And she cried.  A.L.O.T. 

One of the reasons I began to blog years ago was to allow a peek back into our lives later.  For each child to look back and read what their mom had to say.  The beauty in good times, bad times, and those that made their mom the human she is each and every year.  

I hope that Kali will find an anchor to my words.  That although these new chapters will roll out and each beginning is scary....she will make it through.  Life can be like a big ocean.  But you can and will navigate through.  

Even when the water is choppy and rough she will get through.  

"Adjusting sails" as some folks say. 

It's coming to that first jump.

Figuring things out. 

Just like MOTHERHOOD.  

Being a woman. 

Made up just a tad bit different than men. Than daddies.  Than brothers. 

A different angle to sensitivity. To nurture.

And God willing, if she is able and willing...Motherhood.

I love you Kris and Kali.  I'm glad I had Kris as my beginning. And Kali as my end. To teach me how hard breastfeeding was at 19.  That he still survived on formula.  That his pacifiers were worth buying each and every time he'd lose it.  

Kali taught me that I survived raising a girl.  A little teeny tiny girl that cried so much while trying to nurse until we figured it out together.  The love of motherhood teaches you patience. 

And kindness. 

And strength. 

And this week, with a full moon...lots and lots of exhales, and "every little thing is gonna be okay"

Whatever you do, you MUST GET UP AND MAKE A DIFFERENCE. EVEN IF IT'S JUST FOR YOU!

Something I read, that resonated with me this weekend...I hope you enjoy.....

YOU ARE HERE.....

Keep pushing friends....

You can do it. 

xo

Much love, especially to you Kali...

There are plenty of challenges ahead to fight for your place in this world, sweet girl. I never want you to fight for your place, next to me. Watch me become the gracious woman all of us need, but not one of us has. Become her with me. I will ask to try again and again. And again.

Lisa Lynn

The Things Worth Discussing. Researching. Acting Upon.

Last night while sitting around the table at our biweekly dinner with some women I love dearly the topic was brought up about straws.  It didn't really dawn on me until I swigged away at my water just how convenient the straw really is.  But then later when I got home, soaking in a bath, I started my pondering on straws.  I know, I shoulda been in the living room cuddled up next to Bill, LOL, but instead I was soaking in an Magnesium filled hot tubby feeling rather good after some great Lebanese food and delicious vino.   

Straws. 

I made a promise with myself that I will no longer use them.  And just like carrying my own grocery bags into the stores which took months to program my body to pop the trunk, grab my bags...and head in.

I'll try to make a conscious effort to ask the server to NOT give me a straw.  Hopefully my family will follow suit. 

Although I'm not much of a straw person to begin with because I've always liked the coolness of the ice against my lips..

For some girls, like the one that rhymes with schmali whom prides her pearly whites, it's a vanity thing.  STAIN HER TOOFERS?!  

For others it may be an obvious convenience. 

And for some, it could be necessary...(those sick in hospital beds and can't sit up...)

Straws.

The effect. 

From our landfills, to our oceans. Sea life (Turtles) are most affected.  

Here's a site dedicated to the anti-straw movement....

The Last Plastic Straw

I hope you all have a beautiful weekend.  I'll be soaking up peace and quiet. I'll be offering love to my family.  Hopefully hugging on our grand-doggo's some, and of course, doing lots and lots of cooking. 

Love and PEACE-

Wild Horses

Walking Over Hills

I had a long chat last night with an old friend.  The topic was covering pain from a recent breakup. One that was volatile and very unhealthy. 

The thing about offering love and help to those in the midst of suffering, is they can only absorb what they want.  

Most of us humans deal with our own heartbreak and anguish the way we want.  It's easy to nod our heads over the phone in agreement with "what we should do".  Yet, that all goes in the trash an hour or so later when the heart still feels so incredibly crushed.  Confusion.  Lust. Abandonment. Resentment. Insecurity. 

Here's the thing. 

Remember that no matter how hard today is, you must keep pushing through.  Because the fog is still there, and you must fight through to see sunshine. 

Pain is part of this life. Because the truth is, it's really part of being a human. 

The hard things never stop coming.  It's reminding yourself every single morning when you finally make it to the mirror, YOU ARE WORTH FIGHTING FOR. 

Remind yourself....you might not feel pretty staring straight into that mirror.  (I feel ya, shit I have been really questioning my own beauty-lol-hello-bags-circles-blotched-skin-that-is-so-pale-getting-older-where's-my-style-what's happening-lol)

Remember there are so many things about YOU that YOU don't see. 

The way you laugh could be so appealing to someone else.  The way you eat, the way you walk, the way your dress, the way you are just YOU. 

You might omit something on your worst day that is so appealing to many other human beings. 

NEVER doubt your worth. 

It's kind of a beautiful reminder that YOU are beautiful to so many people around you. 

They just didn't find the courage or time to tell you. 

Think about that. 

Stay true to you. 

YOU are worth it. 

PS- Full Moon is coming January 31, 2018 (6 days away...)

Although my kiddo's, my sister and Bill roll their eyes at me...I still like to send out warning signals--

And the negative energy starts to brew 3 days before...

(I love this picture because our moments alone on the water after I've tossed back a couple cocktails is just freakin' amazing, and staring at this picture takes me right back there...)

Also, I've attached this little illustration on germies...

I got tackled last week with that nasty bug.  The worst headache, and fatigue mostly. 

I'm still blowing my nose all day, every day! GROSS!

I kept saying just how grateful I was to not be sick while taking Kris to appointments, etc. 

Silver-lining kids...silver-lining. 

LOL! 

Happy Thursday my friends....

This Mama Lisa

These words below remind me of Kris and Jen. 

Beautiful love for their puppers. 

Purging Old Momentos

One of the things I wanted to do this year, (I don't do resolutions) was to purge my house of all things that I have no use for.  Anything, in any drawer that has not been touched, used, or is absolutely necessary, purge it.  Easier said than done, especially if your name is Lisa and you hold on to sentimental things as though it helps you breathe.  #freak  #childofparentswhosavednothing

Oh, each kids paintings from preschool? Sure. Keep it. 

LOLZ!

This morning I woke at the glorious hour of 4:30am, and instead of falling way too deep in an internet/social media/music/podcast rabbit hole, I decided I'd start in the kitchen cupboards. 

You guys, I have two cupboards still full of old meds of Kris'.  Those meds cannot just be thrown away.  And so, I avoided "dealing" with em.  Well, not this morning.  

Boxing pill bottle after pill bottle, and syrups for stomach, and mouth washes for mouth sores, and organic vitamins and herbal supplements. 

I then moved into my spice cupboard.  This is where things just got so interesting.  It amazes me just how much junk in a spice cabinet one can collect.  I had sprinkles for cupcakes, glitter some how mixed in, and an array of every spice you can imagine.  I literally grabbed each and every one closely before tossing em away.  Forever.  

It made me think about the history of a home. Of a woman's kitchen.  What a mom collects.  The sprinkles, the glitter-yuck-lol, the many used-one-time-spice for the recipe she was trying out. 

I found old bay leaves that had crumbled down.  

All in the trash. 

I moved over to another cupboard.  I found my old wedding plates. Plates I used.  Down to just 4 left. 

I took each one down. Sorting the ones underneath, and adding them to my discard box.  Always keeping the most important things for K & K. 

Hoping one day they'll mean something in their home. 

I pulled out this spoon rest. 

And stood there.

This little spoon rest was purchased back in 1992. At the swapmeet. 

The meals it hovered over. 

The little boy I made Kraft macaroni and cheese for because I knew no other way, and really deep down inside still love that stuff....haha! And to think I can master a homemade "real" mac-n-cheese these days makes my heart full. The many meals I screwed up because I was 22 years old.  The kitchen I made feel so much like home because it was mine to do so. 

I haven't tossed it.

It's sitting on my counter.

It doesn't fit in. And yet it does.

It's style is so 90's, and yet such a beautiful part of my life.

Of my young adult hood. 

When the simple things didn't seem so simple at the time, but I'd give anything to step back for a day.  Just a day.

I'm wiser and better now.  

I've been stained with real things now. 

With happy moments, and new good friends.

I've laughed hard through some really good bad ass moments.

And I've been thrown down harder than I'd ever want anyone else to endure.

I have a collection of eclectic and sweet things adorning the walls to my little adobe. 

Like old awards that never went into a frame, so instead I decided to stare at them every morning as I made lunches and breakfast.  They were stuck to my walls until this morning. 

I wanted to remind both Kris and Kali their worth.  Always always offering praise.

When Kali said "Good-morning" this morning, I replied with my early morning handy-work and her reply was "mom, don't toss those"- 

I kept a few.  I stashed them up in her baby book.   Along with her Junior Seal Beach Lifeguard completion.  Such rad moments. 

I have more cupboards to go.  

It surely is amazing what we gather in all the years of motherhood.  We gather things for them.  For us.  For a home.

We grow older and really start to see that minimal is better. 

The extravagant and big is merely just more inconvenience.  

Showing off isn't my thing, after all.

Maybe I'll keep my spoon rest around a tad bit longer.

Maybe it's yearning for the early days of a simple life. 

To be given a second chance.  Even with the pink and blue design.

After all the years it served us.

To be tucked away until today.

Life the way it was.

Serving the simplicity.

Maybe that's what is needed....

Falling back in love with the simple things in this life.

Even if it is a spoon rest. 

Hope you all have a good Tuesday.....

ps- I also tossed ALL our old soccer water bottles, and those portable coffee mugs...I can't tell you how darn good that felt.  GROSS!  (you guys remember the spider that bit Kali on the tongue?!) lolllll

pss- I can totally put down the entire box of Kraft Mac-n-cheese if put in front of me. Just sayin'.....

psss-Did you know that honeybees navigate by using the sun as a compass? so cute....

Love to you all,

xo

This Mama Lisa

In These Words

The Woman

{I read this on the internet early Monday morning}
Any by no means do I have theological background, so take this with a light heart...

When God created the woman he was working late on the 6th day......

An angel came by and asked, "why spend so much time on her?"

The Lord answered..."Have you seen all the specifications I have to meet to shape her?" 

She must function on all kinds of situations.

She must be able to embrace several kids at the same time.

Have a hug that can heal anything from a bruised knee to a broken heart. 

She must do all this with only two hands.

She cures herself when sick and can work 18 hours a day.

The angel was impressed "Just two hands...impossible!"

"And this is the standard model?"

The angel came closer and touched the woman.."You have made her so soft Lord".

"She is soft", said the Lord.

"But I have made her strong.  You can't imagine what she can endure and overcome"

"Can she think?" The angel asked....

The Lord answered. "Not only can she think, she can reason and negotiate".

The angel touched her cheeks....

"Lord, it seems this creation is leaking! You have put too many burdens on her"...

"She is not leaking...it is a tear" The Lord corrected the angel..."What's it for?" Asked the angel..

The Lord said.."Tears are her way of expressing her grief, her doubts, her love, her loneliness, her suffering and her pride."....This made a big impression on the angel.

"Lord, you are genius. You thought of everything." 

"A woman is indeed marvelous."

The Lord said, "Indeed she is."

She has strength that amazes a man.

She can handle trouble and carry heavy burdens. 

She holds happiness, love and opinions.

She smiles when she feels likes screaming.

She sings when she feels like crying, cries when happy and laughs when afraid.

She fights for what she believes in.

Her love is unconditional.

Her heart is broken when a next-of-kin or a friend dies but she finds strength to get on with life.

The angel asked "So she is a perfect being?"

The Lord replied, no....She has one drawback....

"She often forgets what she is worth."

I found this fitting after a weekend filled with marchers.  With believers.  With strong women that have their own beliefs.  Who work their asses off because they don't rely on a man to provide.  Who have a voice. Who should have rights to their own body. 

Be grateful for your strength girlfriends...mothers...daughters, sisters and grandmothers....
If it weren't for us..none of this would matter.

Be PROUD!

To all the strong women out there, CHEERS!

To the women that get up every day to work hard, CHEERS!

To the mama's standing bedside to a sick child, HUGS!

Applaud yourself mama's!

And.....

Keep on swimming......



Found out today Kali is graduating this year! Big fat BOOM to the younger by 4 years Lisa whom bawled her eyes out leaving her at campus and would drive out after work to take cough drops.  LOLLLLZZZZZ!!!
Watch out world, she's gonna finally get in the ring and really see where the true meaning of a dollar comes from- LOL!  
Maybelline you might have yourself a new customer, say wha?  
Also I know a girl who's name rhymes with schmali with brown hair who got her 12th parking ticket last week. She's rad like that. No time to download apps for parking rules at campus...
Lesson learnt one year at a time...Right schmali?

All the LOLZZZZ


Werk it girl, werk itttttt.....you have 30 days, you don't want that sucker to double. 

ROARRRRRRRRRRR........................

This Mama Lisa

Filling The Cup

Or in my case, my heart. 

To the brim.

We arrived Thursday morning.

The kids arrived Thursday night.

The core purpose was celebrating life.

Winter in Havasu looks a little like this. 

Buses By The Bridge 2018-

It's where the mix of hippies and eclectic folk gather to show their not-so-fancy, and yet-super-cute-Volkswagen buses off to the world. Although we all had many check-back-over-your-shoulder moments at interesting situations, it was all good. 

If there's one thing I will always preach is that the most simple humble people searching for simple non material things in life, tend to be the most kind and soft hearted humans. 

You won't find pretentious people in that crowd. As a matter of fact, the most extreme opposite. 

I had the honor of catching Dave Manning on top of his VW Bus-

A kind fellow. 

Loves good dive bars (I mean, who doesn't) and gets tears in his eyes to good real music as he cruises along the countryside...good soul. 

Traveling the country in his very old VW bus.

Teaching us a thing or two about getting back up after things break down.

(This video is an old campaign kickstarter, just giving you an idea of the laid back folk there)

We caught Dave atop his VW, playing his piano and singing a good tune-

Stopped. Me. In. My. Tracks. 

You guys, look at the dog------m.e.l.t. meeeee

LOVE!

Dave Manning

I asked Kali to snap this of Kris and I. 

His 2nd RE-Birthday.  A second chance in life. 

A moment with his mama. 

The mom that loves him beyond what he'll probably ever comprehend.

I am standing kinda weird.....I'm teetering on rocks. Slippery rocks.

Holding on to him.

Such is our life though, right?

As Jen stands above us smiling...Encouraging. Loving.

My lover and bestfriend.

My love for sunsets is endless.

My love for those who love us at our worst, and never turn their faces away---

Kris + Jen + Skipper + Buckie Boy....January 2018

Grant + Kali January 2018

Last weekend filled up my cup.

Pushing on through. 

-Grant, Uncle Wayne(Grady), Lisa, Tori Lynn, Bill, Kali, Jen and Kris-

2018

Knowing our lives jump back to business, school, dreams, healing and goals.

Sorting through new chapters. 

Unfamiliar territory.

New chances.

German love.

January. 

I'll leave you with one of my favorite Bad Company songs of all time.....

My rainbow is long over due...

Silver Blue And Gold----

I hope you all have a rad week.

Keep pushing. 

Keep trying.

Let's do this.

Smile at a stranger.  They need it more than ever these days.

This Mama Lisa

Moving Forward

On New Years Eve I told Bill that the first few weeks of January were in fact going to be quite challenging for me.  Only because I tend to get myself worked up on things I have no real facts on.  I tend to fall victim of anxiety at 3am, when the world is sleeping and it feels as though my prayers will never fully be answered.  Or I often find myself questioning whether prayer even works. 

Interesting fact about me, I never stress over money.  Over material. 

Ever. 

It's always over my birdies. 

Or those I love. 

Health.

Safety.

Choices.

Circumstances.

Never material.

Yesterday, (Bill's birthday) was also Kris' appointment in Hollywood.  A 9:00am appointment deep down in the heart of the LA concrete jungle on the stormiest day of this year.  I actually laughed when calling him early reminding him to do labs.   

Both contemplating our choice of direction.  What freeway would offer us a better route.  What lab would make most sense...

As I was driving to pick him up, I found myself completely disregarding all choices as any inconvenience to me, because just being by his side, even for the 2 hours it took us (taking streets all the way to Hollywood)..mattered the most to me. 

His mom.

The woman that will fight for his body and mind.  

Mostly on her hunt for answers.  He has not felt good for the latter part of 2017.

Losing too much weight during the holidays.  A body so weak and unable to move around. 

She was searching for answers. 

Yesterday Kris was 726 days post transplant.  

In the big picture, its a big fucking deal.  Almost two years.

Arriving almost 30 minutes late, we'd feel the rudeness from our sassy nurse even after calling them right at 9, letting them know the 5 fwy was closed.  I'd disregard her nature and demeanor as just ignorance.  Losing my sweet canning ways a long time ago.  I'm not there to butter her, or offer many more thanks.  After all, it is not her feeling the feelings, and pure torment we've walked through.  So my tone shifted a little.  My demeanor of kindness is more firmness. 

Give me vitals. Weigh him. Move along Karen, move along. Buh byeee...

My son can hardly walk. 

His joints so stiff it will make a 90 year old man look like an athlete. 

We discovered he has Scleroderma.  A hardening of the skin and most troublesome of the joints.  

It's the reason he can't bend his wrists, and bend down in a crouched position.  He has a patch of visual hardened skin on his back.  All of this due to transplant and GVHD.  

I'd request Physical Therapy and Occupational Therapy immediately.  

The hugs to our doctors and nurses have stopped.  Not because our kindness has ended.  But mostly because this flu floating around is no joke.  And the seriousness of what we want, and how we want it is most important.  

Leaving the building together in hopes to find more answers and build a new healing bridge. 

Labs today showed that at 2 years he's mostly headed in the right direction. 

I opened the labs today with sweaty underarms, per usual.  Texting him the results.  

Doing more research on the new med Jakafi he'll start next week.  The cost is 30K per month for those uninsured.  $800.00 a month for those like us with insurance.  Let that sink in a second kids.  

Pretty delicious, huh.  

She also increased his chemo pill. Something she believes will slow down the scleroderma. 

I made a phone call today that I've waited 2 years to do. 

My first idea last year was to make the trip to Germany as a family to meet our donor (if he's still willing)- 

Today, I'll make the family decision to have him come here (if he's willing)-

Kris does not belong on any planes.  Any sort of public place right now is just spewing germs and bugs. 

To hug the donor, or to even see him is my life long dream.

Two years this Saturday you guys.  

Two years of this new chance to keep pushing through.  Like a snow plow on the biggest snow filled street.  I will push with him.  For him.  For Jen. For all of us. 

Happy Almost Two Years To My Son.

I love this picture because it was the day we announced our donor.  Jeff is in it.  And my sister too.

We're stepping away this weekend. 

Together. 

My birdies all under one roof under the Arizona skies.  

Hugging and laughing and playing games.  And just being together. 

Because we've had HOPE.

Enjoy the rest of your week friends.  

Be kind.

Love hard.

And never ever give up.

Text Kris this weekend if you have his number....Two years is a big big deal.

xo

This Mama Warrior Lisa

Birthday Boy Bill

Happy Birthday to my best friend.  January ninth.  A day you shared with your mama.  Always waiting to see what her plans were, versus yours.  You both did, really. 

You're not one to cause a fuss about your day, but going to Supercross was and is your most favorite thing to do.  

This year we quietly celebrated with our six pack best o' friends...

A group we've grown to hold so dear to our souls.

We've all crossed some wild bridges together.

Tossing back shots, and clinking good wine together when the moments allow. 

Almost 20 years as a pack of six. 

I was explaining the traits I love most about you to Kali the other day.  Your handsome arms still make me smile.  Your eyes still melt me when ours meet across a room.  

This comb-over below is everything, really. 

What a cutie....

I discover new things I love about you every year, and also just a few I don't like too.

Like when you TRY to add water to our hand soap on the counter at work.  I'll never accept that nonsense. LOL

Or when you nag me about how I dispense the toothpaste, or how finding my hair "thingys" around is just way too much. lol. 

I love how you maintain everything you own.  Right down to the lists of oil changes in each car.

I love how you've taught the kids the importance of this task. 

I love how you love me during my hardest days.  When I am not easy to be around, you'll still find moments to hug me.  

I love how you understand my sense of smell, and how fumes of any sort *cough-cough* (cologne) can make me exit a building.  Or restaurant. 

You get me.

I love how you chuckle quietly when I try to watch a movie and fall asleep 15 minutes in. 

I love how on New Years Eve when I snorted in a snore out loud at 9pm, you just smiled at me. 

I love how year after year you stuff my stocking with red lipstick only to find I wear it once a month.

Maybe. 

I love how you always go with the flow, but when you let loose, watch out.  #drunkbill

I love how strong you kept up through the storms of trial and sickness. Never losing your cool on nurses, doctors or helpers.  #leavethatshitformama

I love how you make our margarita's before we take boat rides.  Always those little seashell cups, with salt along the rim.   

I love the way  you make our coffee, most especially on the weekends. 

(You guys, please look at my honey badger smile. YES.  HAHAHAHA)

I love how you supported my decision when I wanted to cut a bunch of hair off, and even complimented me when I came home. And yet this poodle bullshit when it's wet and drying is no bueno.  

I hope you and I can dance in dive bars for many more years to come.  I hope we set out on our dream one day and travel across the US in a rented motor-home,

finding every dive bar from here to NY.  

And that we're both healthy enough to do so. 

I love you so much Bill. 

Happy not-so-double-nickle-BIRTHDAY...!

I love the way you love me.

More so now, than ever. 

I hope it never changes.

Let's Rock-N-Roll!! Like this warm afternoon after a long days work...

All my love to you, 

Lisa Lynn or "Mama" as you call me. 

xo