May You.

May you find solitude in the early hours this weekend-

May you find love from those around you. Even if it's a fur baby.

May you find smiles when the air gets thick.

May you find laughter when you want to cry.

May you remember the good times versus the bad.

May you rest up and sleep well.

Another long week over here in our pasture....

Love, LOVE, LOVE to you all....

Be kind, and give out smiles...

It could change someones feelings within seconds....

Even a stranger.

They need it the most.

Unless they tailgate you. 

Then brake check em. 

kidding.

kinda.

This Mama Lisa

Forever And Ever. Amen.

Long Beach Yacht Club- Wet Wednesday June 26-2019 

January 2016- City Of HOPE-

Miracles.

Strength.

Hope.

Determination.

Speaking up.

Pushing hard.

Loving.

A mother and son.

A book filled with chapters.  So so many chapters.

Three and a half years.

Thank you City Of Hope!

Thank you Piranha! 

--------------------------------------------

Miss. Kali Mae

To my girl, YOU have what it takes.  Keep pushing the doors you've worked so hard to pry open.

You can.

You CAN.

Words to chew on..

The solo marathon

The usual marathons, the popular ones, are done in a group.

They have a start time.

A finish line.

A way to qualify.

A route.

A crowd.

And a date announced a year in advance.

Mostly, they have excitement, energy and peer pressure.

The other kind of marathon is one that anyone can run, any day of the year. Put on your sneakers, run out the door and come back 26 miles later. These are rare.

It’s worth noting that much of what we do in creating a project, launching a business or developing a career is a lot closer to the second kind of marathon.

No wonder it’s so difficult.

I see you putting those running shoes on. 

Life's a dance, you'll learn as you go.

Just don't lose your spirit in the process.

And remember, when you need to drop an anchor, drop it. And rest.

xo

Happy Thursday my friends...

This Mama Lisa

On Life Currently.

Work.

Rest.

Repeat.

Was driving to work this morning thinking about my friend Kerri whom had to make the wrenching decision to put their family dog "Minnie" down Monday afternoon.  The daunting task of making that appointment.  The good, and probably the only good part, was having her home and the vet coming out.  I literally could not stop staring at the grave dug in their backyard in the picture.  A picture by their young teen son. Buried there in their backyard. So close, yet so far. 

The ripple effects that come from something so SO deep.

A moment in time you want to let slip away, and yet, you don't --

Life.

Goodbyes.

Had dinner with Kris and the doggo's on Monday night and watched him mow down a plate of bbq chicken, baked beans, corn on the cob and garlic, made by yours truly and although that boy eats slower than any human I know *because phone in hand and lots to chat about-- Bill and I were made aware he's gained over 10 lbs you guys.  TEN POUNDS in two months.  

Life.

Buckie came running towards me faster than I've seen him run in months. Smile on his face, and a pep in his body unlike anything I've seen in over a year.  Sat and begged which drives Bill crazy, but if you ask me, just let him live.  Please Lord, let that little dog just keep living.  

Crazy.   

 One thing I know for sure, is never take the mundane things in this life for granted.  If it's dinner sitting next to your kids, soak it up. Every single second. 

Life.

This weather really plays games on the soul that's for sure.

Sunny at the beach. Gloomy at the office. Windy most afternoons. The best days tend to fall on Sunday when I turn into a planning, organizing maniac. 

How's everyone doin?

Swimmin'?

Lovin?

Laughing at the crazy?

Ya, me too.

I'm trying to stay physically fit, emotionally stable, and kind in my heart.

If you're going through a hard time, don't give up-

Do. Not. Give. Up!

A note to remember...

What doesn't do you good, you do not need.

Move on.

Love,

This Mama Lisa

Or maybe you can sneak away to a place that looks like this....

Happy Summer Bring Your Umbrella

Well, I think it's official, we'll walk right by Spring and jump into a hot summer.

Left the house this morning with raindrops touching my nose!

Happy Summer Solstice!

Longest day of the year --

 Buckie's face......LOVE----

I hope this weekend treats you well.  And if it doesn't treat you well, then treat yourself to something special.

Even if it's a special meal you've looked forward to.

A good glass of wine.

A long chat with someone you love.

Delete those old contacts in your phone of those you don't.  LOL

Out with the old, move on to heal on.

As for me and my soul I can't wait to crawl into a bed with freshly changed linen with the aroma of my softener.  #nerd.

May the sun shine down on you, and if it doesn't....curl up and read a good book!

And to you warriors out there in the fight....KEEP ON KEEPING ON!  YOU CAN CROSS THE FINISH LINE! 

Happy Weekend friends....

Feeling a little lighter today.  Energy that is. LOL

Big love,

This Mama Lisa 

Hellllllooooo

Not sure if the Full Moon on Monday left residual dust all over me.  I was a mess Tuesday and yesterday.  The thing about grief is it creeps up at the most awkward times.  Changing my Pandora station at my desk was a good start.  Every single country song allowed huge crocodile tears. 

Here's the thing...I questioned my decision with Abbie.  Did I do the right thing?  Do I have to react domestically or do I let the universe take care of these things.  Do I let Mother Nature run its course?

Did I not give her a long enough time here.  Do the cries from her on the way there haunt me? yes.

And then we have Buckie.  

Didn't eat Monday or Tuesday. Which means the 6 pills he takes every day for his heart went to the way-side.  So we (Kris and I) pondered on the next steps. 

And then yesterday he ate some chicken from his Grammie Renee.  

He also ate a small amount of steak from me last night.  I know, steak..but really, who cares.

Bill looked at me straight in the face and said "you guys need to let him work this one out.."  

(Meaning, don't overreact, let's see how he does)-  

Maybe the gloom is playing a game on me.  Maybe the Full Moon dust. Maybe the stresses of over worrying about every.fucking.thing.I.can.all.day.long.ALLLL.night.long.

Drowning myself with glasses of wine some nights just doesn't cut it.  No bueno. Makes the process of it all much worse.  

And so I just pray.  And work through it. Zombieland most mornings.  Staring off into space some evenings. 

And then we all roll our eyes because it's a cat. It's a dog.  

I can tell you this much, I have a whole new appreciation for those that have lost their pets, put pets down, or tragically lost them by accident.  I am sorry. So sorry.

Let's lighten the mood and how about I toss out some parenting advice for you raising young girls...

I especially love #3 and #19--oh my gosh #21 made me tear up! FREAK. 

1. Get as much sleep as you can before they turn 13, because then the sleepless nights really begin.

2. She isn’t mad at you. She just seems like it because she’s been “on” all day, and you are the only one she can take it out on because she knows you’ll still love her in the morning.

3. Teach her to never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever send a picture of herself to someone, especially a boy, that she wouldn’t feel comfortable seeing on the front page of the New York Times.

4. Like EVER.

5. You’re not fooling them with your casual concern about their social lives. Maybe you should call Lucy and see what she’s doing today? You are their mother and they see right through you.

6. There is nothing too small to brag about at the dinner table. I believe this should be a rule however old and whatever gender your kids are, but I find it has become especially important for girls during the teenage years, when self-confidence is more likely to wane, and judgement-free zones are rare if not completely non-existent.

7. Speaking of the dinner table: Make it a nag-free zone. None of the Did you take that practice ACT? Did you get back to that teacher? Did you put that freaking breakfast cereal bowl in the dishwasher yet? That is what the other 11 1/2 hours of the day are for. 

8. Talk about her period and periods generally from day one so there is no shroud of shame around them. Even when there are brothers and fathers around — actually especially when brothers and fathers are around.

9. Feed your daughters current events for breakfast, play news radio in the car on the way to the softball game, point them in the direction of podcasts and news accounts to follow on Instagram or their preferred method of social media. When you’re a teenager, it’s no longer cute if you can’t identify the Vice President of the United States.

10. Repeat to self: It’s just a phase. They will go through phases. Of clothes, of friends, of liking carbs and not liking carbs; of liking themselves of not liking themselves; of liking you and not liking you. It’s just a phase. It’s just a phase. It’s just a phase.

11. It’s not a flash drive; it’s a Juul.

12. Danger in the pre-teen years: Helicopter Parenting. Danger in the teen years: Lawn Mower Parenting. Resist the urge to clear a smooth path for them unless you want to be the mom or dad emailing their college professors to request extensions.

13. It’s okay that they aren’t learning to code or interning with the A.C.L.U. this summer. They’ll learn more about patience and hard work from bussing tables or loading groceries, and the stories they’ll collect will be waayyy more entertaining.

14. When teaching them to drive, take a deep breath and remember: It’s only a 4500-pound car-shaped missile, what’s the worst that could happen?

15. Even if you are an, ahem, food writer who has devoted a good part of her career to figuring out how to raise healthy eaters, be prepared to come up against some seriously powerful forces — social media, the friend whose entire lunch consists of a celery stalk, the Kardashians — that can erase your efforts overnight. Be vigilant. Never stop making the connection between eating well and feeling good.

16. Social exclusion: Most of the time, it’s more painful for you than it is for her.

17. What the hell is Fortnite?

18. Help her find an escape hatch. Whether it’s a summer camp, a theater program, a lacrosse team, a literary magazine, a dishwashing job, finding her people is huge. Having an outlet outside of school is huger. Realizing that the world is bigger and more interesting than who is streaking with whom on Snapchat is the hugest.

19. It’s more important to listen than to fix. While it’s true that teenagers have always been teenagers, their worlds are different than yours. It’s easy to just dismiss things as “I went through that, you’ll be fine.” But they are dealing with social pressures that we never had to deal with and we owe it to them to try to really listen.

20. It’s fine to speak with your teenage daughters and friends in their language (“lit,” “fire,” “gucci”) to sound like the cool parent that you are – so long as you realize the effect will be exactly the opposite of what you intended. (“Mom, you sound like Michael Scott.”)

21. There will be a day when she gets in a car with another teenager headed who-knows-where and you will be tempted to remind her of every single thing you’ve taught her about good judgment – wear your seatbelt, wear your sunblock, listen to your gut, don’t walk home on that dangerously curvy road in the dark, don’t do drugs, don’t get drunk, don’t get in a car with anyone who’s had even ONE drink, don’t take nudes, don’t send nudes, don’t forget you can call me ANY hour of the night if you need me for ANYTHING LITERALLY ANYTHING — but you will keep your mouth shut and trust that she’s been listening.

Hope this week has been decent for you guys...

Buckie boy is gonna hang in there....he has to.

This Mama Lisa

Happy Friday Eve.

Perhaps It Will.

Yesterday evening Kris and I took our beloved "Abbie" in for her crossing of the Rainbow Bridge-Or whatever it is they call it.  I'll call it the Bridge That Sucks. 

She was 17 and a chubby cherub.  

She was rescued by me from the LB Shelter after reaching her little 2 month old paw through the cage.

Her tabby face and those beautiful big eyes she sported.

Never meowed just chirped like a little bird at times.

Never far from the food bowl. 

Loved Bill the most.

Loved to be around her family. 

Most always would scadoodle over to me if I went out back.

In December she suffered what we believe was a stroke.

She rehabbed herself in a way that still allowed her to crawl out the kitty door, and always to the food bowl.

Last week she started to lose her bowels, anywhere, anytime.

Kris and I drove her nervously last night.  

So grateful to hug on my boy as I said goodbye.  The doctors and techs so incredibly kind.

The one thing we never want to accept when getting animals is the departure.

Always wanting them to stay the course right along our side.

At least that's what I say.

With time those sweet memories will stay and the sad one like last night will fade.

At least that's what we hope for. 

Perhaps it will.

Kris, thank you for your strength with mama.

You've been such a good brother to her.  She's lucky to have loved and laid on your bed all these nights you've been home.  You never made her move.

For that, she and I are forever grateful.

We have some heavy animal things to deal with this week.  Buckie is not doing well. 

Not eating. 

The tides are shifting fast.

For that, I say...no blogging for me this week.  I need to focus on work, on my family, and mostly on grief and how to get through it. 

Yes, to us, our animals mean more than some humans we've known. 

Into The Mystic

All my love, as always.....

Mama Forever,

Lisa

Hello Weekend....

Wishing all you Dads out there a beautiful Father's Day weekend.....

The man that holds the most patience of all humans I know.

Happy Fathers Day Bill!

To my dad, I love you.  I have no idea if you look at my blog, but the memories with you are instilled deep within.  Good and bad, you never abandoned us.  Our childhood was a wild ride at times and yet its made me a better person.

My strength from him.

Because of him.

And for him.

But can we all check out my crooked sunglasses-HAHA!  That drives Kris crazy! HAHA!!

This Mama Lisa

Have a good weekend my friends....

Rest up, or party up-

Choose wisely!

Made me laugh-

Trader Joes Review

Song to those missing their dads this year-

My Ol' Man

A lesson from my dad below....

Word.....

Mama Wishes.

For all you new moms out there....

Pending mamahood (Jen)

And for you with toddlers and young ones...

These words ring true.

Especially to us seasoned mama's.

The ones that would go back and change SOME things if we knew better.

The ones that have regrets, yet did their best.

 

It's a job some can't handle.

Big hugs to you in it....

YOU are what make our world a better place.

Know better, do better.

Raise good humans.

xoxo

“Mama, this is YOUR motherhood.⠀
⠀⠀
This very moment. This hour. This day. This night.⠀ ⠀⠀
This is your baby's babyhood. Your child’s childhood.⠀
⠀
This isn't a dress rehearsal.⠀
⠀
There are no do-overs.⠀
⠀
No retakes.⠀
⠀⠀
The only certainty is that this time will pass, no matter what you do.⠀
⠀
How you spend it is up to you.⠀
⠀
The choices you make will come to define your motherhood.⠀
⠀
My wish for you is that your choices are truly YOURS.⠀
⠀⠀
My wish for you is that you make choices that ignite joy, deepen connection and instill confidence in your ability as a mother.⠀
⠀
My wish for you is that you forge your own path with your eyes wide open, your heart soft and your mind curious.⠀
⠀
My wish for you is that rather than losing yourself in motherhood, you find yourself. You rise strong. You embrace your perfect imperfection.⠀
⠀
My wish for you is that when you stumble and fall, you extend yourself grace and compassion. That you celebrate the mess of the slow and never-ending metamorphosis of becoming a mother.⠀
⠀
My wish for you is that in spite of your fears and uncertainties that you learn to trust your inner voice, to listen to your wise mama heart and believe what your child is telling you.⠀
⠀
Because the truth is that babies (and children) only NEED. They don't WANT.⠀
⠀
They don't want you. They don't want your affection. They don't want your love. They NEED those things.⠀
⠀
Your child is not manipulating, he's communicating. So, don't let the white noise of society steal this precious time of yours. This time may be fleeting but it is powerful. It is monumentally worthwhile. It is sacred.⠀
⠀
I believe in your mama, and so does this little person you are blessed with. To them, you are the sun and the moon and the stars. To them you are magical. To them, you are perfectly imperfect.”⠀

Embrace your perfect imperfection.....

Life's a dance you learn as you go, especially in motherhood.

This Mama Lisa 

Setting Her Own Goals.

{Post written last Friday}

Bill and I received an email on Kali's 23rd birthday. 

He, before I, because I was getting ready for her birthday dinner.

He said "Hun, did you see that email from Kali's boss"?

I glanced down to his phone and there in an email were words about our daughter.

The girl who dove headfirst into this interview a couple of months ago. 

An interview that rolled into 3.

An interview that offered compliments of how well spoken she is.

An interview of how well put together she is at her age.

A job offer that held her hostage with feelings.

Should she take it, was it too much, too big, too high and mighty.

Her mama whispered in her ear that everything would work out the way it was supposed to.

Life is just that way.

Her mama's bestfriend Maria would stare at her across from dinner proclaiming "Give it a shot Kali, you never know until you try and you do have what it takes".

She took it.

She wrestled with sheets just like her mom those couple nights before this big job started.

Back on the 405 freeway. 

Down to a new position. 

New colleagues.

New bosses.

New clothes.

New training. 

All of it.

And guess what you guys?

They asked for our emails to send praise to us. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Good afternoon Lisa and Bill,

I am excited to be writing this email to introduce myself. My name is Kyla Kalinin and I am the Account Manager that Kali directly reports into at Insight Global!

I feel so fortunate to have had Kali join my team! In the months ahead, I will be mentoring her and ensuring she has all of the tools necessary to be successful at our company.

In just her first two weeks here she has already hit so many milestones and I am extremely proud of her. Kali is a fast learner and has picked up on our business processes very quickly - she’s a natural. She is sharp, charismatic, positive and truly embodies all of Insight Global’s core values, which include: work ethic second to none and customer service oriented.

I can see Kali advancing in her sales career here at a fast-pace, and getting promoted into Account Management. She’s already won my vote and continues to impress her colleagues and management team.   

If you ever have any questions or concerns you may reach me at any time.

My best regards,

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Biased to a certain degree because she's ours.  She is sharp.  She's punctual and she's a hard nosed learner.  She will never look back and she will always make the best of what she can. 

I've left her bosses names out of the email, along with the few that went back and forth to the bosses above hers. 

They adore her.

And just like their words, she will advance.

What a compliment to her parents.

On her birthday.

Ain't no hiding now, they know the parents. HAHA!

And then I sent this picture to them after going back and forth on some emails....

I ducked for cover that Kali would soon text me... MOM, STOP.

But she didn't.  

They just mentioned it to her this week. LOL.

They loved it--   whew

One thing they'll soon find out about Kali's mom is she's a silly goose blogger and my world is all about 

PRAISE ALL THE KIND WORDS AND DON'T EVER EVER STOP...

Tell the kids just how great thy are!

You can never boast enough about a child.  

Most importantly TO A CHILD.

To a human.

To whomever is in need.

A true definition of relaying kind words.  Emails.

Encouragement. 

Love.

You guys, pure pure love.

Even if it's a corporateschmorporate world, you can still share kind words.

You can NEVER EVER say enough praise to a human, in front of a human and around a human.

Do it.

It's what makes us better people. 

Thank you Lord!

(cake presented by her colleagues)

This Mama Lisa

----------------------------------------------------

Fast forward to today. She's overwhelmed.  Her long days of tenacity will for sure pay off.

It's getting through the first months, with wet feet, and tired eyes, and hands that guide her.

She can do it.

I read this today and I'll share with her...

The Learning/Doing Gap

Our society separates them. Somewhere along the way, we decided that one interfered with the other.

Go to school for 8 years to become a doctor–most of that time, you’re learning about doctoring, not actually doing doctoring.

Go to work as a copywriter. Most of the time, you’re doing writing, not learning about new ways to write.

The thing we usually seek to label as ‘learning’ is actually more about ‘education’. It revolves around compliance, rankings and “will this be on the test?”

Being good at school is not the same as learning something.

One reason that we don’t incorporate doing into education is that it takes the authority away from those that would seek to lecture and instruct.

There are 56 million people in K-12 (compulsory education) in the US right now. Most of them do nothing all day but school, failing to bring real-life activity, experimentation and interaction into the things that they are being taught.

And there are more than a hundred million people going to their jobs every day in the US, but few of them read books or take lessons regularly about how to do their work better. That’s considered a distraction or, at best, inconvenient or simply wasted time.

The gap is real. It often takes a decade or more for a profession to accept and learn a new approach. It took gastroenterologists a generation before they fully accepted that most ulcers were caused by bacteria and changed their approach. It has taken our justice system more than thirty years to take a hard look at sentencing and corrections.

It could be because we’re confusing learning with education. That education (someone else is in charge and I might fail) is a power shift from doing, so I’d rather be doing, thank you very much.

What happens if the learning we do is accomplished by always engaging in it in conjunction with our doing?

And what happens if we take a hard look at our doing and spend the time to actually learn something from it?

When police departments invest time in studying their numbers and investigating new approaches, they discover that efficacy and productivity goes up, safety improves and so does job satisfaction.

When science students devise and operate their own lab tests, their understanding of the work dramatically improves.

Education (the compliance-based system that all of us went through) is undergoing a massive shift, as big as the ones that have hit the other industries that have been rebuilt by the connection and leverage the internet brings. And yet, too much of the new work is simply coming up with a slightly more efficient way to deliver lectures plus tests.

I see this every day. People show up at Akimbo expecting lifetime access to secret videos, instead of the hard but useful work of engagement.

The alternative? Learning. Learning that embraces doing. The doing of speaking up, reviewing and be reviewed. The learning of relevant projects and peer engagement. Learning and doing together, at the same time, each producing the other.

If you want to learn marketing, do marketing. If you want to do marketing, it helps to learn marketing.

That same symmetric property applies to just about everything we care about.

To quote the ancient rockers, “We don’t need no… education.”

But we could probably benefit from some learning.

In the middle of all this doing, this constant doing, we might benefit from learning to do it better.

I hope you can all take something from it too.

Learning and doing. 

Tis is true in life, right?

Life's a dance we learn as we go?

Sometimes we lead and sometimes we follow...

And sometimes it's messy and scary.

(Senior year of High School - BEST FRIENDS)

Sometimes it's filled with beautiful emails from humans that know your worth and are willing to give YOU a try.

Because YOU are worth it.

Happy Taco Tuesday my friends...

Are you fanning your faces telling everyone around you just how hot it is now?

LOL!!

This Mama Lisa

ps. Sometimes you're the bug and sometimes you're the windshield...lol

Keep going? nah. 

Laterrrrrr